Interview with a prude......

Mr. John Tillison: So um, you want me to publish this story you wrote about you humping little girls on my christian website?

raymi:Yeh sure.

Mr. John Tillison: (Long pause) Ok, um, are you even a Christian?

raymi: I went to a catholic school, from kindergarden to grade 8. I went to a catholic highschool, but left after grade 9. To a public school, where you were not allowed to have any religious propaganda whatsoever.

Mr. John Tillison: Why did you leave?

raymi:well, i didn't like taking religion classes and i had this teacher who encouraged me to question faith and to not take everything in the bible literally. he told me the bible was bullshit and all the stories in it were made-up. just so to prove that GOD is almighty and powerful and weird things like that.

Mr. John Tillison: That scoundrel ! Please tell me the school this man taught at and where I might reach him now.

raymi: Dude, no way. He was the best teacher i ever had.

Mr. John Tillison: I can tell you one thing Raymi, there is not a chance in high heaven that I would EVER feature stories of your calibre and subject my readers to. You, dear raymi, need discipline AND a new-found trust in your savior.

raymi: yah whatever, i'm bored of you already. i didn't want to be on your psychotically christian, boring-as-fuck website in the first place. i am only using you as material for my slutty site. you should check it out someday.

Mr. John Tillison: No offense, but i am blocking you from contacting me on msn - ever again. goodbye.

i changed the name of the christian guy for his sake of privacy and yes, mr. john tillison is the name of all my teddy bears.

my friend ward let Eriko, this jap village english student borrow his ABBA cd. she didn't understand the concept of borrowing very well so she brought the cd to japan with her. a week later ward received a letter in the mail - a letter thanking him for the cd "her treasure" and a picture of her with the cd.

hahahahahhahaaaaahahahhahahahahhahaa

i shaved my arms today in the shower. too hairy for my liking. my friend and i have agreed to go as Manni and Lola for halloween. now i have to dye my hair the color of playdoh. and find green pants. i realised this morning i have no idea about make-up. none. i don't know what color of eye shadow to mix with what, i know fuck all about contrast and eyeliner? jeezis. no way. i heard the best one liner today. this guy bought fluorescent lights and i said i would help him with the door. he is like, oh no problem, these aren't heavy - 'cos they're light.

knee slapper.

my nose hurts from picking it so much.

u guys should go to rocketpack.org my friend gavin runs that site and is nice enuff to post my dumb stories at 3 am and make them look all fancy for me

he is also funny and british and lives in alberta or something. that place with boring wheat fields.

why do people pick their nose in their car even though they know everyone can see?

cuz they fuckin' can.

why is everyone being crabby to me today? unnngh. u will not see pics of me in panties or humping things or true account stories of me fucking old men because there are certainthings i must keep secret - some people have access to this site who would be hurt/offended, and/or very very pissed off if they were privy to some certain information. however, if u are willing to pay a reasonable price - i would be more than willing to send some, um, photos of me not wearing clothes. yes i would like a fanclub very much so. i am not repetetive, well i am, but not on purpose. i can't help being repetetive. anyhow, this is a pic my friend took of me with his new fancy digital camera, just now. it was hard to get the right pose, then we got all awkward kuz i was posing too slutty and well, anyway, this is how it turned-out. - i put blond streaks in my hair last nite. u can't see them in this pic. my mum came home to me sitting on the couch with a plastic cap on my head, bleach everywhere.

i am thinking of putting some newer, interactive(r) site thing together, like people tell me to do weird things, then i do 'em, take pics...blah blabbity blahh...and u like, pay me money. i already boughtthe domain - minxraymi.com

ok ok, in the near future u will see more slutty stories about me. i promise.

i am so turned on. people are staring at my website. i made funny comments to all the posts in the guestbook, if u posted one, u should go look. u mite even start to feel special. i am going to put blond streaks in my hair now. i might eat some candy too.

me doing what i do all the time. i like machines. beep.

this is jetfuel in Toronto. i tried to find myself a boyfriend or girlfriend here, every goddamn day for 6 months. and nothing. no one talked to me. it sucked. then i realized that lesbians and fags go there - lesbians hate girls who like dicks (me). fags hate people with vaginas (also me).

i think i was the last girl to develop tits in skool. what made matters worse was my best friend rena had the biggest boobs. our seating arrangement consisted of four desks in grade 5, rena, me, steve and jonathan. one day they suggested me and rena measure how much our boobs stuck out by taking a ruler and dragging it down our chest to see how far out it would protrude as it went past our chests. welp, rena's boinked out quite a bit and mine wouldn't at all. i felt like a big flat loser. i use to walk with my ribcage and chest sticking out as much as possible, i was also heavily taking jazz/ballet classes so i think that factored some flatness and hyper-extended backness. well, rena is now at least 50 pounds overweight, has a moustache and smells like stinky chinese cooking all the time whereas i am skinny and hot and everyone loves me and my boobs will never ever sag.