Friday, July 25, 2003

do you like cleaning out closets. i dont. i dont like doing anything. i was called a false idol. interesting. tv is boring as is everything to me these days. im a completely different person. i walk like a robot and barely talk. i know theres ten trillions out there like me and i no i dont have the answer for it. im suppose to set goals and read the paper and join aa but i went to this orientation thing and couldnt relate to one person. i never had a drinking problem so i see these classes as pointless and time wasting from the plenty of hours spent doing nothing. literally. i cant even focus on reading. all i do is lie down and stare at my brother playing n64 and sometimes i dust him at bond. im going to la soon. i have that to look forward to. i peed in a cup today. im suppose to be abstinent. you see the thing is i smoked so much weed it made me paranoid to full degree but now thats gone im still not smoking weed but i want to...my lack of creativity is bumming me out basically. im a dried-up old person who says nothing. that is all.