ok so no i do not hate all asians. i meant that i hate EVERYONE equally. i am not a racist, well, not all the time. if you spend a whole day with me you'll soon realise i say a lot of things about a lot of people and i don't necessarily say them to be mean or anti-semetic, whathaveyou. i normally am too busy thinking about marshmallows and making cock jokes to bother making judgements. these days i am too busy folding laundry and making long distance phonecalls and hanging with sammy at the cadillac lounge. i am at the huge loft space but also seeking another place. it's a long fucking story. buy the book. seriously. my dad is coming to town to hang with me and my dumb friends. on saturday at the blue moon you can find me and the blond girl being models for this twisted valentine's party with other acts and shit. doors open at 9 and it's 6 dollars. on queen and broadview. nasty. tonite we'll be at for your eyes only, some strip club on king? i only gotothe nasty ones so i have not been there. i hope cocaine falls into my nose from a stripper's moustache. there haven't been new pictures because we have been busy setting up shoppe 'n office so just wait, ok? and for everyone who has written and sent emails about my assistant-seeking, please at the moment i require toronto living persons only, after that we can discuss pay. it's not a nine-five gig and i won't need you everyday so do not quit your fucking job, i don't care how much you make a year. thanks.
if you are a literary agent, please write to me.
these are the plans:
soon there'll be "what raymi's been up to" exclusive photos page, i dunno, maybe 15 dollars for access for a month, in-where slowly but surely more and more photos/videos will be added not to forget more fucking content. that's the overall dream/intention. some stuff will always be free. don't worry.
i've been hanging out at net cafes all over the city and haven't been able to show you all the things ive been working on with my best friend, the laptop.
what do you want to know about?
just come and find me and axe me whats up.
see you at the club.
dear douglas coupland
you have not written back to me yet. i am starting not to care. i put the email i wrote you in my book so when i get big and famous you will feel dumb for not writing back to me and everyone will say, oh hey look it's that author that never wrote back to raymi. man, what's his deal? yeh it's true that you might not write back because i am scaring you or whatever, but still, i am harmless. i promise.
i bought translucent red shower curtains for the clawfoot porcelain tub. i also got a cheesy leopard print rug for the bathroom. today i mopped the kitchen floor. it is blacvk and white checkered. i like doing the laundry. i see a lot of junkies in this 'hood. they're pretty nice. parkdalemiddleton lets me draw drawings and he films me when i try and talk business. you'll see that in the raymi documentaries. i wrote my very first autograph just ten minutes ago.
anyway, i'll let you get back to your big mansion now. i have to go to the beer store. oh yah i am going to visit anti in LA soon.
Thursday, February 13, 2003
Monday, February 10, 2003
what would happen if i stood up right now and told a whole bunch of asian boys to shut the fuck up and then maybe smash a computer?
i fucking hate them all.
i asked the guy to seat me in the most quietest, un-cold part of the room so he put me under the drafty skylight and smack in the middle of ten boys playing gay fucking dork doom role playing star trek asian fantastic nitemare whatever the fuck games and they are all screaming and smoking and talking about hot girls they think are "worthy enough to pursue" although they are fat and stupid and ugly and make statements such as that to protect their puny little egos not to mention the most common of defense mechanisms for rejection.
they just don't understand real life women and they compare them to hot comic book chicks and therefore have zero capacity to fathom any sort of flaw the real life woman might have because she does not look anything like that of catwoman or barbarella, whatever, these fucking tardbag's perception of reality is vastly fucked.
i am seriously considering having my armpit sweat glands removed because i sweat like a fat old fat man who is fat. but just my armpits.
this is what is different or perhaps still the same in my life.
i still hate a lot of people and they still hate me. i still love a lot of people and they still love me.
i don't sleep enough. i missed both crazy appointments today/ i go back n forth to coke but always seem to be able to stop for at least a week or two.
i need to hire an assistant. someone who is trustworthy, just as passionate as i am right now and understands how much of a privilege it will be to work with me. i'm in the process of setting up a media company, well, i have already done that and all i have left to do is get an office. so in a month's time i'll be hiring and firing. fuck if you just wanna hang out and fold my napkins and tell me how great i am, perfect. you'll have to check my emails too and upload all my photos, do all the shit i've been doing for the past 3 years. you'll be privy to a LOT of shit. so serious replies only. and yes you'll be paid so don't ask any dumb questions.
i realise i have all the necessary means to do the things i need/want to do. i just need one of those people to walk around with a day planner and take down my ideas.
im not going to suck your cock and you are not going to eat me but you'll, again, be my little bitch. i'll treat you right.
necessary skills: must live in toronto, must not be stupid, no criminal record (just so you can travel with me to whereverthefuck), must know what the internet is and how to use it and push buttons, you have to have style and be quick-witted. i'll think of other stuff later.
i think most importantly you have to have faith and believe that raymitheminx is a brand now, yes sounds gay but it's true. big things are developing and it's escalated to the point where i need help, first one person, and then very many. we're creating an empire here and it's safe to say it's not an unattainable dream or vision. this is not to going to be a regular 9 to 5er. you're either in or out. and that's that.
i am pioneering that of a phenomenon. i am the antithesis to everything and anything involving what might be popular culture these days.
im the snarky answer to a question never asked.
i know who is fucking with me before i am even fucked with.
it's a burden, this, this intuition. whatever. you get it too, im sure.
i am not going to sit here and tell you why i think you should take me seriously because you already know everything i am about to say. if you've read this far or stuck with me, you just know that there is some depth to all of this, not to mention the very manythings i have not ever shared with you guys or shown.
to be frank, if you start off an email with a tone or attitude that says i have to prove to you why i think i am a sure-thing, you my friend, will have zero chance to ever be in raymi's circle of trust.
got my email back. because i am so crafty. and yes i realise it is my fault for it being taken away in the first place but it still is illegal and a pretty shitty way to get your point across and i know who did it but causing anymore harm or stress would just be dumb at this point so who cares. just don't fuck with me ever again. catching up to do now. u can send mail to firstname.lastname@example.org again. k bye.
things will be organized around these parts soon enough. don't worry.