me a few minutes ago. i put make-up on top of my greasy unwashed face. parkdale likes it. i'm a gutterslob. and i am floating.

bid on this artpiece you rich useless fuck.

no one really cares, anyway.

why is justin timberlake such a fucking genius right now.

i am so manic so manic.

it was the coffees.

fuck.

anyway, many an epiphany all nite long. i have the dark circles to prove it. to be transcribed once i remember them all. some i wrote down in the book. i'm glad i did.

i'm writing over here for today. more pictures too.

dudes i am so horny like all the time and i masturbate all over the place. i dont know who u guys are anymore as i dont really come here unless i see hits coming from viceland. all i know is a lot of people hate me, obsess over me, love me, fucked me? im never going to be anything but a failure and ill show my pussy when im thirty and all washed-up then bea stripper. or ill marry some old rich guy and spend all his money. go out like sharon stone in casino. thats me. im realyl a sucky sensitive head. i dont set things on fire. i am not suicidal. i do not do terrible things. i watch my mouth in public. im frightened all the time. i take a lot of abuse. i am not spoiled. i live decadently. i am followed all over the web i dont know how i am not murdered or raped by now. well, its made me very agoraphobic and clingy. i am alone a lot, inside. but doing somethnig always. i tune out people who hate me, say fuck a lot about them but generally always call them and ask why they hate me? i just dont get it. i dont do bad things. im a pioneer? sexual revolutionary and im awfully irritating. i sabotaged my own career with my big fucking mouth. one girl is like why not cash in on being related to jack kerouac. i wouldnt know how to do that. i cant manipulate everyone, all of the time. i need to settle down. yep its me in the avatar. i bet this topic got a lot of hits and now theyll have it deleted kuz vice doesnt ever ever want to help promote raymitheminx. nobody takes me seriously. sdfjksdhfuiogs i dont feel humiliated. ever.

i bring vice lots of hits. dammit.

you vote and decide if raymi is an obsession/phenomenon. why not look at my hits too? try here too for all the topic views, they talk about me everywhere.

oh man you guys are the best i love you all very much. dksjfh dcngdfkjvb ckxvdf

Posted By: raymi 2/16/2003 7:49:31 PM

who the fuck wants to buy raymi toothpaste? that shit will taste like pussy and cigarettes.

Posted By: whoo haa 2/14/2003 12:02:57 PM

to whoohaa: raymitheminx is a brand in the sense that there will be raymi products fucktard.

to raymi: if you only offered benefits I'd soooo be there.
callmesowecantalkhouseshit.

Posted By: coolhandfrickin'luke the roommate 2/13/2003 8:50:27 AM

Don't remove your armpit glands or you will start sweating out your ass...

Posted By: unnerved 2/12/2003 2:39:19 PM

People with criminal records are able to travel anywhere knucklehead,unless you are on PAROLE for a FELONY CONVICTION then you need addtional permission-also, you need a smart hip college chick who wllintern for FREE don'twaste money on things you can set up for free-just put up a flyer at Ryerson and you'll have a lttle slave (that is not obsessed with tryng to destroy/hump you)

fuck the internet anyways-asskissers are a dime a dozen

Posted By: Josh 2/12/2003 2:21:33 PM

I don't understand why a prostitute would need an assistant. Can't you carry your own lube, rubber and wetnaps?

Posted By: teetog 2/12/2003 12:19:22 PM

If you ever need an assistant in montreal, drop me a line...

Posted By: Oopsz 2/12/2003 9:15:22 AM

brand of what? toothpaste? what are you selling? memberships to kiss your ass? i acknowledge your creative writing talent, and with all the other bullshit going on in the world today there is no reason why you wont end up on entertainment tonight for some reason. but right now. now. i would like to know how raymi has developed into a brand? are you going to start an amateur porn ring and pimp out little girls? are you going to scan your tits on coffee mugs or what the fuck? you cant just say youre this whole other entity now and not elaborate on what the hell youre talking about. i can't see you breaking into movies and such cause well for the past months your posts have just been a bunch of pathetic pleas to your viewing audience trying to round up sympathy points. its quite gross really. but yeah whatever. if you succeed for any reason, i'm betting on you doing something internet/porn related. which is cool i guess. but whatever. good luck. no seriously. i hope you rob these foolish fuckers blind. peace.

Posted By: whoo haa 2/12/2003 3:09:11 AM

Pssst... Raymi can't handle her coke.

Posted By: andrew 2/12/2003 12:51:27 AM

Damned if I didn't live in fucking los angeles. And if I had the internet talent to do the job. Basically, I'm in no way qualified to be yer assistant. But, hey, we all suck in some way.

That'd be a kick ass job though.

you rule

Posted By: Steve 2/11/2003 6:29:00 PM

I'm so glad you survived the vicious attack on your email account. You must defeat the assholes! You're one of the most interesting, original&unique people on the internet. I love your rage. I love your boobs. I want to read your book when it comes out. I want to look at your genitals. I hope you'll be successful in finding a good slave, er, I mean assistant...

Keep your toes warm,
E

Posted By: eric 2/11/2003 12:48:00 PM

i wish i could show this post to my one anime-loving friend so he could see how twisted his perception of the real world is.. but i think that would offend him too much.. sigh.. i guess ill just stick with insulting him myself..

<>
Posted By: C2 2/11/2003 10:42:00 AM

...and to that asshole who was insulting your chest--nah nigga, nah...your tits look delish...

Posted By: blah 2/11/2003 9:44:00 AM

Have you checked to make sure that whoever stole your email didn't change the address that gets emailed if you forget the password? Or that they don't have access to that email address too?

...keep on keepin on...

Posted By: blah 2/11/2003 9:19:00 AM

And patient! Gotta have a patient assistant!

More unbelievable photos posted on the Minxworks...glad you got your email back. Seems like that was a little pointless sabotage didn't it?

People! Sheesh! Every day is like a novel..

Posted By: robert 2/11/2003 8:53:00 AM

and emailed me

Posted By: raymi 2/11/2003 12:05:00 AM

im not fucking being racist
i dig asians
and i call them whatever the fuck i please
i am equally critical of all races, genders, species
whateverthefuck
i poke fun at every fucking stereotype so fuck off

to the person who thought i was racist.

Posted By: raymi 2/11/2003 12:04:00 AM

I'd love the job (worthy or no) and with my handy dandy ipaq I bet I'd be pretty good at it too--but the 7 hour commute would suck. Not convicted yet, but I will prevail

--oh I had a friend who ripped out a sweat gland out of one armpit. His other arpit definitly did overtime to maek up for it. If you got rid of both, where is left to stink?

Posted By: blah 2/10/2003 11:53:00 PM

i will buy a new keyboard with my first pay

Posted By: miggidy piggidy 2/10/2003 11:21:00 PM

well i punched the window out of the El Mocambo onc and got thrwon in jail for a couple days but i got released with an pology and no criminal record. So yeah. when do i start? I am the bestest darned (slave) lackey in the universe Ms. Minx, and i am stylish, and...NOT AS MUCH OF A DRUNK AS I USED TO BE (can't tell if tht's bad or good yet) okay? so jut e-mail with aall the 411 and i'll kick it back to you on the brainy side.
fo shizzle when tha rain a drizzle,
miggidy friggin piggidy
do it to it

Posted By: miggidy piggidy 2/10/2003 11:18:00 PM

but balls are too fragile to fuck with.

dammit!

Posted By: anti 2/10/2003 8:39:00 PM

i want to remove the sweat glands on my balls.

Posted By: anti 2/10/2003 8:38:00 PM

don't worry about the sweat it starts ay 19 and ends at 23, one of those lovely growing pains.

Posted By: Aurore 2/10/2003 7:50:00 PM

i just want to be fucking naked and tanned in aqua blue waters and ten million pictures of it and not ever have to leave and smoke pipes with hugh and justin and sell my funny art (having a show in toronto soon. jamie fly here and help co-ordinate it.) building an empire. sex tv. exposure. raymi the minx baseball hats. not joking. several websites. secret parties. roller disco. hammock naked sand on my ass toes in that shit dope smokin' ital style montego bay (mobay) jamaica boat paddling natives livin' the poetry. livin the poetry.

Posted By: raymi 2/21/2003 8:39:55 PM

i dont want to be hacked to death by a natives banana smasher. but i like intriguing offers. you could do better.

Posted By: raymi 2/21/2003 8:14:46 PM

Round trip to Nadi from Toronto, flying coach, will probably cost you about $1400US - give or take $200 bucks. Then you'd have to get from Nadi to where I'm at, Taveuni, which you could do for roughly $250 round trip. So I'd say plan on $1700 round trip for airfare.

Not bad travel, though flying coach will cramp your legs. Thank God for frequent flyer miles. I think I've been piss drunk since leaving LAX. (I write with amazing alacrity when I am drunk, because I fancy myself nothing short of a master of prose and iambic pentameter).

I really don't believe you'd come visit a stranger for that amount of money. Consider it a dare.

Volcanoes and cyclones, oh my!

Posted By: imsosuperunknown 2/20/2003 6:37:26 PM

Well, I am on Taveuni for the next few days before heading back to Veti Lavu, so who knows cuz it is a sleeping volcano I think. But most are way underwater.

I have to warn you I have a really dirty mind. Like I can take anything someone says, especially a girl, and turn it into "yep, she wants to fuck." Even tho' that may not be it all. In fact, most of the time it isn't. Sometimes I'm right, though, and that makes it all worthwhile.

You wrote about a volcano erupting on your head.

See?

I'm pretty sure you don't need anyone's permission for shit, but you can tell me to fuck off for that. I won't take it personally, and its happened before plenty of times.

Gotta run now. Since you are in Canada, where it is fucking cold right now, I'm sending some warmth out there. It's cloudy here and supposed to rain, but its still 89 degrees. I fucking love it.

Keep up the good web reads. This is a good diversion you've developed.

Posted By: imsosuperunknown 2/20/2003 3:36:41 PM

wont a volcano erupt on my head in fiji?

Posted By: raymi 2/20/2003 1:04:55 PM

how much will it cost to fly to fiji from toronto

Posted By: raymi 2/20/2003 1:04:42 PM

Shit, muthafucka.

Since I last wrote, I've made it from HelLA to Fiji. Feeling adventurous? Fly to Fiji and chill on the beach with me, even though you don't know me.

How is THAT for adventure?

One of these days I should tell you why I'm out here, but that can wait. I'm not going anywhere right now.

BTW, whoever said bacon was good, I agree. Good shit right there. But bacon is still better with some redbull.

Posted By: imsosuperunknown 2/20/2003 11:54:57 AM

you can hang out in my crotch......
was that outloud?
This skinney bootcamp is making me mental... The side effects of being beautiful!

Posted By: girlfriend 2/20/2003 7:36:23 AM

yep its really him. he is my very bestest friend.

Posted By: raymi 2/20/2003 12:41:16 AM

hi raymi,

america awaits!

Posted By: tony 2/19/2003 9:39:30 PM

loved the xtreme guide i can't stop looking at that dude with the beer--the drunk mole guy just below. is that really parkdalemiddleton, the guy you were talking to that time? here on the blog?

Posted By: TRUE 2/19/2003 9:00:13 PM

this pretty girl snuggled up to me last nite and i was all slow-motion, uhhh, fumble-nervous. she was cooler than cool. i was pathetic. she fucking sews and skateboards. i know laura petrie would die for her. blond girl and i fought over her. she was like heaven in a duffel bag, breakdance high-tops wearin' leave the house without saying goodbye, inegma i don't know what the fuck. and she flirted with everyone. ahhh. she is the ultimate spy. and we can't stop talking about her. parkdalemiddleton wants to bang her. coolhandluke, well, he'll hump anything that moves. this is the ultimate gossip column. oh my god. trucker party is tonite and i could care less. i use to date this dude and i cheated on him and he hated me and i smothered him and what have i got to lose. a battle is brewing. i amthe ultimate hated toronto young whatever annoying shithead. scum. dirtbag. dirtbag.

troma wants me.

imagine that?

you know marachino's new email address, marachino of the old vice party kids. get me it. i need to see him in the bay area.

radio shows want me.

your dad wants me.

ew.

hahaahahhaaaaa.

um.

so this girl made me nervous. coke makes me useless. i couldnt dance or sing or talk or move i sucked the bag.

i watched the news. club explosion. ????

coke hangover and an expensive shitty chinese dinner for valentine's day is what i got.

my money is like, so all over the place. woah.

blerp is a funny word, too.

i'm still running away. i am. i'm going to buy seven different styles of string bikinis and not wear any of them. i'm going to walk around as naked as i possibly can, all over town. i'll carry a bag. don't worry. that's my next move.

here is the pretty shelf in the kitchen.

here is the bathroom shelf.

ok i changed my mind. i'm going to run away. or fly away. i can do this. i'm going to do it in a week's time and no one will know where i'm going. i'm just going to take a cab to the airport. im only going to bring a camera and a bag. not even. so email me if you live someplace warm, ill be there. there has to be a beach and flip flops and blue waters. so so so gay. eghh blegh. you have a week to sort your shit out then come with.

bye.

kid god

hi tony. i'm coming to see you in LA soon. i'm also taking private jeet kune do classes. you know that art shit bruce lee made? and it means, "the way of the intercepting fist." so try and fuck with me now!

with great power comes great responsibility and all that. this dude larry was one of bruce lee's original students and also did two tours in Vietnam and teaches dude on the left, grant, who is gonna teach us dirtbags how to kick the crap out of each other. grant has been teaching for seven years now but has trained for fourteen. they do a camp as well in may. here's the site.

JKD FAMILY

Raymi's newest extreme guide to being skinny

i'm a drunk dickhead.

people love me.

lets go to town.

chicks were grabbing my stuffed crotch all nite long. dude. totally.

i sprayed beer on this hot girl wearing white cashmere. she loved it.

\well, not really.

help. i've been spending money all over town.

what a drag.

i'll be your saviour.

ok.

ok?

fine.

hello raymi,

you may have already thought about this, so if you have, just disregard and tell me to shut the fuck up.

when you get your assistant, get him or her to check out and start applying for government funding for your project(s)... and i ain't talking about social assistance.

the department that will want you is Canadian Heritage. it promotes arts, culture and diversity by providing grant funding to Canadian artists. so many different programs that you may qualify for.

from what little i know of your ventures, you should check out the publishing, film & video, media arts, performing arts, visual arts categories alone.

there's also a federal program that will help you raise funds for your small business. the gov't will match every dollar you save with three more. the max you can make is $6,000 from $1,500. this just gives more incentive to save cash and get shit done.
the program is called learn$ave.

so check 'em out (or get someone else to) and see if either are right for you.

your government owes you.

keep your spirits up up Up.

-Marsh

i wll pay someone up to 350 dollars to help me with what marsh said.

he made me a nice button

do you wanna buy my dirty knickers? write to me, i'll tell you the deal.

i started writing for anti. we inspire each other and pretend we are going to change the world in some minimal way it's great. we have been online buddies for years. i'm gonna go meet him. we won't have sex.

i missed my appointment.

my alarm went off and i said to myself, ok, i am just going to put my head down for one minute and then i am going to get up and go have a nice bath but then i didn't put my head up until 1:24pm and my appointment began at 1:15pm.

what is my fucking problem?

jesusfuck.

i can't fully get everything done today because everything is messed up and on a different machine or the internet won't run thru 'em all and arggh.

so it's pretty obvious that i need help. i need a team. a crew. some black dudes wearing timberlands and maybe that ashanti chick?

hmm.

i feel like a dumbhead for saying, "and now i am working on this...bla bla" and not show you anything new.

i've been pretty busy and then pretty lazy, but the work is all there. it's just a matter of a few nerds showing up and piecing it all together.

i've been asked what the fuck is going on with this raymi empire shit, what am i selling what am i doing, what do they not know about?

it's pretty simple, things you already know about, things you've already seen, just more extensive. am i suppose to put, "intensive" here? anyway, you'll like it. or you'll yawn a little bit.

you can't ignore expansion.

holy shit i am on the internet.

fuck.

wooooooooooooooh.

i feel like i am living in an episode of the real world, 1993. this fucking loft. primary color walls and stair cases and fucking dark room, shelves, catwalk, twenty-five foot ceilings in the most illest part of town, the new black. damskippee. we should put a carousel and a waterslide, fireman's pole bla bla bla there is so much space we can't even think about what we want to put in it. i rarely go outside and actually doing something is mega-hard. one reason, it's bone-chilling death-weather these days. i am never awake during the warm, daylight parts of the day. it's alaska during dark season. i've seen polar bears and turbines and and and.. i modeled. i slept on the livingroom carpet under an easel with zoolander being really really really extremely good looking and tried to pay attention at the shittiest most boring of stripclubs. i saw men behaving politely to boobs larue pamela andersens, tables and rooms of them.

i don't eat then i eat and then i don't.

internet is my life.

internet not around, email hacked = i lose my fucking mind.

and that, i did.

things are looking up.

in ten minutes i'll upload more pictures, content, blarghh bla bla,

and continue talking about everyfuckingsingle important thing i have said

i have did

since being gone.

since having left you.

motherfucking fuck.

Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

Alex says:
i love you raymi

raymi's back says:
thanks

raymi's back says:
i love me too

Alex says:
you are so awesome.

Alex says:
your mind is what the average person wants to have

raymi's back says:
really?

Alex says:
yes

raymi's back says:
you are just trying to get into my pants

Alex says:
no, i am too far away for that

Alex says:
i'm being serious

raymi's back says:
good

raymi's back says:
tell me more good things about myself

Alex says:
i honestly think you tap into a stream of consciousness that resonates with a lot of people

raymi's back says:
why havent u made me my 400k/year yet?

Alex says:
cuz i have bene busy making myself 500k/year

raymi's back says:
im perfect for the general population of dumb people

Alex says:
i agree..you are just controversial enough, but you seem sweet and accessible.

raymi's back says:
do you own fancy cars and hang out with skinny women and cheat on them mercilessly too?

raymi's back says:
yeh im pretty fucking accessible

Alex says:
i cheat on everyone

raymi's back says:
you want my phone number? how about my SIN # ?

raymi's back says:
i want to be in movies

raymi's back says:
im tired of these fucking booby pictures

raymi's back says:
i have lots of video footage

raymi's back says:
blarrgh

Alex says:
yeah you should be a movie star

Alex says:
you are a lot hotter than Naomi Watts, who is supposed to be the next big thing

raymi's back says:
working on it

raymi's back says:
its hard doing it alone

Alex says:
i think you really should be in movies

raymi's back says:
i need assistants

Alex says:
have you ever gone to auditions

raymi's back says:
no

raymi's back says:
i get too mouthy

raymi's back says:
and cant get passed the bar

Alex says:
you should, you have the looks. i'm not sure what your voice sounds like

raymi's back says:
it sounds hot

raymi's back says:
it would be a pretty big major let down if i sounded like a fuckwit

Alex says:
yeah, it would

raymi's back says:
what with all the buildup

Alex says:
but do you come across as 'smart' ..or do you stammer a lot

raymi's back says:
i sound like a sexmachine

raymi's back says:
both

raymi's back says:
im charming

raymi's back says:
i put on an act

raymi's back says:
quite often

raymi's back says:
so you never really know

raymi's back says:
whatever

raymi's back says:
im humble

raymi's back says:
im not a big obnoxious dickhead

raymi's back says:
whatever

Alex says:
i think you should go for the sweet innocent type

raymi's back says:
it works, whatever it is i gots

Alex says:
thats the look you have

raymi's back says:
no way

Alex says:
but with a sex-kitten inside

raymi's back says:
im the villain, when people are hating me, it means they are really loving me

Alex says:
naw, you have to win the crowd maximus

raymi's back says:
i have won the crowd

Alex says:
what crowd, the masturbating on the net crowd

Alex says:
i mean the big,real crowd

raymi's back says:
i kinda enjoy being semi-famous

raymi's back says:
kuz then i always have an excuse

Alex says:
yeah but you gotta go for it

raymi's back says:
why dont u do half the work for me then with your big fucking blabbermouth, then?

Alex says:
fuck the safety net

raymi's back says:
im insecure

Alex says:
what do i get out of it, half the profits?

raymi's back says:
and again its hard doing this alone

raymi's back says:
i have a lot on my plate

raymi's back says:
i would gladly pay someone 2 thousand dollars right now to just point me in the right fucking direction

Alex says:
when i get back to canada we should get together, we can do some damage

raymi's back says:
im not joking

raymi's back says:
well now is the time

raymi's back says:
or im just going to run away for a long time and then send a book out once n awhile

raymi's back says:
im a pretty awful wreck these days

raymi's back says:
dsgfghh

Alex says:
sounds like you are doing too much coke

Alex says:
from what i last read on your site a few days ago

raymi's back says:
no its not the coke

raymi's back says:
the coke is nothing

Alex says:
coke will kill you dude

raymi's back says:
thats not the issue

raymi's back says:
yeh im aware of that

Alex says:
and you cant be famous in the ground

raymi's back says:
people think thats what im all about

Alex says:
not to preach, but you are a lot smarter than that

raymi's back says:
im pretty good at misleading you

raymi's back says:
im not denying i dont do that sort of thing

raymi's back says:
look heres the deal, i have money, i have content, i havethe following, the look, the know how, but im inthe middle of two different apartments, havent been online,

raymi's back says:
uhhh

raymi's back says:
and then ten million other excuses

raymi's back says:
email hacked

raymi's back says:
psycho roomate at one apartment who was the one who hacked my account

raymi's back says:
etcetera etcetera

Alex says:
so what is the problem?

raymi's back says:
its hard to get things done when the world is working against you

Alex says:
so fucking hunker down somewhere for 2 weeks and get your shit sorted

raymi's back says:
I NEED A FUCKING ASSISTANT TO DO ALL THE SHIT I DO EVERYDAY AND JUST DO IT FOR ME

raymi's back says:
kuz i am losing my mind

raymi's back says:
all the emails daily

raymi's back says:
and work

raymi's back says:
and writing

Alex says:
you need to eliminate all this bullshit wasting of time and do what you have to do

raymi's back says:
ahhh

raymi's back says:
well i dotn know what to do anymore

Alex says:
well, disconnect yourself from the internet/phone for a week

Alex says:
it'll clear your mind

raymi's back says:
i did that already and look where it got me

raymi's back says:
i need the internet like u have no idea

raymi's back says:
i have so much free time

raymi's back says:
its sick

raymi's back says:
SICK

Alex says:
well, you seem confused...too much free time/you need an assistant

Alex says:
that doesnt really jibe

raymi's back says:
just send a team of suits on over here please, i want to steer the ship, i am tried of grunt work

raymi's back says:
ok fuggit

raymi's back says:
u dont understand

raymi's back says:
i do things a certain way

raymi's back says:
it'll be the ruin of me

Alex says:
ok.

Alex says:
well, you should hire someone then, if you think it'll help

raymi's back says:
im trying

raymi's back says:
but no one gets it

raymi's back says:
well they sort of do

raymi's back says:
well

raymi's back says:
yeh ill try harder

raymi's back says:
im a hedonist

raymi's back says:
its my own fault

Alex says:
i'm sure you'll be famous...hot chicks like you who have some ambition always do become famous

raymi's back says:
yeh but i dont want to be famous for all the wrong reasons

raymi's back says:
this is a pretty sick reality show

Alex says:
so what reason do you want to become famous for

Alex says:
writing?

raymi's back says:
its me tryng to be famous but not really trying, just sitting around talking about being famous and irritating everyone around me including myself

raymi's back says:
writing yes

raymi's back says:
and hotness

Alex says:
lol

raymi's back says:
hotness with writing

raymi's back says:
im a good host/role model for fuckwits

raymi's back says:
people understand me

Alex says:
you have the hotness...the writing is a bit inconsistent but shows flashes

raymi's back says:
well i have written lots more

Alex says:
yeah, i can see that. you are the beacon of light for dumb people...if you try real hard you can be like her

raymi's back says:
people havent seen yet

raymi's back says:
shut up

Alex says:
show me some

raymi's back says:
no