youlovethatshit.com thinks i'm just a cokehead. but they love me so it's ok. they pointed out that i get shit on a lot and it's true.
tengallonhat is a total babe.
my ex crazy roomate who i did not invite to my party calls up one friend of mine and the blond girl and invites them and doesnt invite me just to stick it to me although i had already invited her to my upcoming superduper birthday party. i only wanted to go to get the ten million dollars she owes me.
Saturday, March 22, 2003
Thursday, March 20, 2003
make sure you come to this event and wish me a happy birthday and squeeze le blond girl's nubbies or something because we'll be very there and very naked and it's going to rule and yah, cool things will happen. will definitely tell you more about it later. yep. bye.
you should steal ashtrays and cups and plates and try the mexican pizza from pizza pizza and get the free pops and then you should try all the pops all the drinks the flavours and say things like, "i am making money mart soooo popular." and you should let your jerkoff friends hide your left shoe behind the radiator so when you have to leave several hours later you can't find it and lose your mind trying to find it in their fucking livingroom while they are all asleep or gonedoff home. i've also figured out how to get any item from the mcdonalds drive-thru menu for a little bit cheaper if you supersize a few things, don't order a pop for one of the combos and then change something into a milkshake or order something extra and maybe take something away after that. i swear it works out. eventually. driving with the sun in your eyes is also pretty nice. me threatening roommates about who gets to keep the kingsize mattress has been a two day theme in these parts. take a number.
we agreed that im pretty much, well, retired. it's kinda funny.
i try not to dip too much into my pension plan.
thank you irsktnniii for telling us to watch Slashers. it. was. so good. you got so much more totally awesome awesome points for that move. i really wish i wrote down that quote the first time i said it.
parkdalemassive said, "yeh i fouled her up." or something and it was great. totally separate quote and has nothing to do with me or the previous quote though i wish i said it first because i fouled her up is the new i felt her up line. yeh. it's like you got her all drrty and stuff. yah.
another thing is i laughed 4 seconds after everyone else laughed and went quiet at the kid koala thing and it was kinda sexy and brutal and uncomfortable because maybe at least 15 people made a point to turn and look to see who exactly the sexy beast was who made the sexy growl giggle fucked laugh. ask parkdalemiddleton because he was right there and it made him laugh right away. then i dropped my bag on the floor and screamed, "WHUd'ja DO!?" to this dude who had arm braces and crutches and i made him feel like the accident was his fault but it wasnt and then turns out hes all handicapped and stuff and made then it was extra funny kuz we both sorta made the bag fall down but in the end...fucking whatever i cant even finish off how it happened. i was trying to do what chris farley did to david spade in tommy boy with the car door busting off and well, the only two people who found it sort of funny tonite/last nite 8ish hours ago was/were p.dalemiddleton and i and we decided to leave the room right away after it so, there you go. it was worth mentioning.
the crutch guy kinda liked it afterall and got the whole joke . im thinking. hoping. but no longer care.
who wants to be on the canadian matchmaker show? email me within the next two weeks. u can be the datee or the dater or the stupid fat bitch friend who sits in the limo and badmouths your friend on the date. maybe that's who i should be on the show. who wants to be my fake date? fuuuck. i should just auction myself off and get it over with. who has ten million dollars?
ill settle for 500,000 even.
ps my shoe is even more funny and warped now from the radiator-stuffing.
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
i. am. so. effing. swamped. and. manic. right. now. these. days. everyone. is. mad. at me. or not i still think they are had a jeet kun do (sp? i forget already) class finally now i can kick the crap out of everyone theres a wanted man who hangs out in parkdale i think i may have seen him before i saw the poooolice putting up poooosters and now im late fo the kid koala book launch exclusive media spy cam documentary shit with parkdalemiddleton urrrrrg. more later re read the last post privy to this post i edited it again for the twelfth time along with other shit. im sure u've missed a thing or two. read me when your drunk or crying. i might make more sense.
burgle mew mew.
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
fuck you poetry
Pauly shore and adam sandler have never written me back.
I want to fuck johnny knoxville, edward norton, and that john meyer guy.
Justin timberlake too.
OH and that stevo 32 dude from sum41. Him maybe the most right now.
Can you help me do these things?
It�s quite important.
Oh redman too.
I fucked *******.
I fucked ******** and I ran away to nyc and fucked ******** and fell in love with the spy and broke *******�s heart or made him feel used.
I�m an asshole.
I have bedded many many a many.
I have no std�s and no aids.
This is good.
Pamela andersen gives hepatitis C a bad name.
And im not being mean.
She should be a spokesperson for something else.
I think she is bubbly.
I don�t like saying negative mean things.
I just make observations.
It�s a curse and probably the number one reason why people hate me so much.
Bad press is still good press.
Yo, cut it.
people think certain things about me but actually if yer a quick one you know that really i am just not that. unnng. bye.
i wish i actually paid attention to the words in VICE magazine when they told us about the best coke jams because now i am lost and always playing the wrong thing and changing it then changing it again to something else that is also wrong and unpleasant to my sensitive nerves and ears and patience. anyhow, please sned me lists of the best tunes to snuff snaff to. thanks.
fucking hell this is terrible. this day. too much. sorry everyone. sorry bar for ok goodbye april fools is helping me half out at the moment. wuuuuht. har har haaa. no more interventions please dears.
Monday, March 17, 2003
so everyone's pretty fucking pissed at me. coolhandluke. yep. very. he went away and came back to an even more trashed (in the most rock of fucking rollin' way possible though. YES!!!) apartment ever. whatever. contractors came by and tore shit up and they've been doing it for months and i really dont care anymore about anything concerning that house, the landlord, the crazy girl who moved out who i also just realised was the cause of the heat not working (flipped the fucking switch and told no one) urrrg, email hackingness, other crazy bitch happenings....more-over? that house rules and sucks and is the shittiest burden in my life on top of other shitty burdens and im pretty fucking fed up with people not getting it. me. my life. my house. my everything having to do with how psychotic i am these days. anyhow, it's too much. much too much and my own indifference is what's getting everyone so angry. even parkdalemassive can't handle the raymi so much as before.
this website contributes to my own neurosis and micro-celebrity mentality and mania and obsessive compulsivity and it seems like sometimes nobody fucking believes one goddamn word i have to say.
back to coolhandluke. we had a screaming match on our cellphones and i was cramming a lock and cream cheese sammich into my face while he yelled at me saying, "and nine-eleven, whatthefuck did YOU know anybody who died?!?!? bla blargh blahh you think YOU were affected?!?" i didn't really get why he was bringing that up. i dont throw 9/11 in other people's faces, i mean, i talk about it and shit 'cause i have some photos but jesus, i talk about a lot of stuff, that shit has nothing to do with what i am doing everyday right now? i think coolhandluke secretly hates me and thinks im a joke and wanted to scream that at me several months ago and now that i am a homewrecker and he's angry at me for these recent trash happenings...the floodgates are opened. im not mad at him. i understand that he's pissed but really, i dont have the capacity to care anymore about these kind of things and i know it's callous and mean - look, there's a reason for everything and people are tired of hearing my reasons. fine. just stop calling me and screaming at me because now is not the time. i'm sorry there are two week old wine stains on your walls but what about the stains on my brand new maroon futon sheet that to date still has never been washed and yah there were a couple stains to begin with but you certainly added ten trillion more. and all the shit that got stolen when that chick moved out and the trashed backyard and all the things that are trashed that i have to walk thru all the time that i was never the cause of? and the almost 400 dollar phone bill that never gets paid and yes i owe part of it but no one ever seems to be available to pay them before they turn into 400 phone bills?this goes both ways coolhandluke. dont provoke me like this ever again. im being an asshole now. sorry sorry. but still. im getting shit on here just as much as you and if you have a problem with it why not address it three months ago?
i'm at my wit's end, basically. you won't even need our fucking loser of a landlord ever for a reference. i moved in there from le burbs and no one asked me shit. he's shady, unreliable, unresponsible, daft and never takes my side on anything so you can all go blow for all i care. blame it all on me. that house is a piece of shit anyway. ill track mud thru the hallways all i want. the point is, hmm. we should talk later. this wasnt suppose to be a dear lucasaids letter. i love you anyway. bye
Sunday, March 16, 2003
unngh man too much these days. had a jerkoff party last nite and everything was grafitti tagged. (pictures to come toomorrow). peoples from my hometown showed up via the blond girl, some dude's older brother from the past who i sweated, fucked 'n chucked me. he's still a hot stoner nobody who coulda been a somebody and actually wa a pro snowboarder ski something who really cares he didnt take me seriously. i was leaving for oxford 'n london and my five one nite stands. we banged a year later. i had shorter hair. it went nowhere. i was doing others also. it waslame suburban inlimbo finish highschool sorta thing. then went to nyc after graduating highschool. anyway, the party last nite was so cool. i think we'll be evicted mebbe. so, it'll look better than how we let coolhandluke show it to those folks wanting celebrityhouse 2003. this post is much like my brains and my life right now. i cant even finish that last thought, i cant respond to email i am constantly inebriated ( innebriated??) and taking photo after photo and i am at the loft and also at the ghetto party slutfuck house. you gotta stop by soon. also to a secret location in kensington market being set up by shekie (aka parkdalemassive and yes creator of that dumb comic Doomhauled) or something or other i need to get some breakdancers on board for saturday/sunday jams with dirtbag raymi karaoke and other shit goin' down. store's called THE MAD SCIENTIST. someone should make it a website. eff the internet. im sitting in a room with 2.5 ex boyfriends right now. go to 225 augusta in the market, below baldwin. im there once n awhile pissing people off, not being paid, making long distance conference calls to la and new york trying to use the computers to update my blog and doing shit on my cellfone. unngh. so sometime soon im having another party for maybe my birthday lotsa sex and ex teachers and 40's of oe, bad feelings all around, incestuous jealousy traps. i made friends with the autistic paperboy. i like him. i waved to him and he waved back and i watched him walk by three times with his flyers and i talked to the woman about getting more minutes and internet at 150 kilabytes daily into the shitty phone that receives no signal in my house so i sat by the window and saw that boy dragging his cart up and down the street and i took some pictures of the neighbourhood and my room and smoked several joints and waited for people to show up and do stuff for my party. i was a wreck. let me tell you. well, anyway, more people are requiring my attention at the moment. goodnite all.
this dude wouldn't post my blog kuz he thought it was too obscene but he posted my ithinkmanic.blogspot.com blog for his school project. cool. i am too busy and manic to figure out what this is all about. please read and send me a condensed version of what thi project is. ps go to zen lounge for my bday party. date to come. awesome sex tunes jam party the theme is 1983, the year i was born. same year the chicken mcnugget was born. billie jean. and. the cabbage patch doll. k bye.