i fucking flipped out on a computer geek at the slutfactory where i use to work. i ran out of the room in my black stilettos and lingerie stood over his chair and fucking screamed at him until he left. he was in the chatroom trash talking me and arguing that 2pac has gained more fame than kurt cobain what with the death similarities and the boom of 2pac was far superior than that of nirvana's. i was like fuck that you skat motherfucker you piece of stupid shit how dare you talk to me when i am working fucker little kid and on and on and i was trembling like mad. i almost quit every single day. i fought with the monitor this romanian chick all the time she was a right cunt but with a nice heart. she came from poor beginnings.

one girl gave our boss a blowjob in the hangout waiting area on a couch and they threw a jacket over the surveillance cameras. that girl was such filthy trash and so fucking rank with dirty bra and panty sets that never matched and the ugliest face i had ever seen and she tried to have sex with all of us too. blek.

uhh is that a trick question?

lulu was a drifter and she spoke in whisper and her fingers always smelled like sweaty lilac. she had a scar under her right eye from a glass fight with the german girl on matlock . she bought glue from the supermarket and stashed the bottles in plastic bags behind the dumpsters in the parking lot. she hung around metcalf the head of parking security and he'd put his fingers inside her in his car and her eyes were always rolling and spittle came from her mouth and her hair was like red curly fire from hell. lulu waddled through the streets balancing on the curb with her arms stuck out like an airplane. she was 13 and she begged for scraps from the pizza man behind the kitchen. in the heat of summer she wore her shirt on her head like a turban. bare-chested. flat chested. angry. i'm gonna get out of here and live on a farm. i'm gonna ride horses. i'm gonna wear pink sunglasses and pearls and red lipstick and do acrobats in blue heels and carry a nice bag. i'm gonna get out of here and steal my little sister. i'm going to make her my baby and never let no one hurt her. i'm gonna get her away from him. from his mouth and his hands. i'm gonna do it. lulu found scrap bicycles and got money for them. lulu watched her sister in the playground and a boy pushed her into a swing and lulu saw red and beat him up pretty rough so she can't go visit diana no more.

i think i am getting skinnier. now that i've said that i'm going turn fat. i am going to wear my sparkly sequin purple string bikini over my outfit today. no i'm not. i am farting. i quit weed and carbs for 36 hours a couple weeks back or a few and i was crabby. dumb dumb idea. pic of me crying over weed coming soon. we were gonna go swimming but we fucked and passed out and schrader and jay came by and saw his dick hanging out there i was covered up thankfully. i am going to p in that ool today.

yes i am the gay.

so we didn't go. ben had a party. o'doyle rules was there. no swimming happened in the 102 degree pool. perhaps today. perhaps not.

i'm going to collingwood. i don't know what will happen. probably beer and sitting around and saying dumb things. kelly is driving and it's wally's place. bf is going too. the last time i went up north anywhere i was a complete bore who lied down all over the place slept on the trampoline and whined on the sea-doo. it was right after anti had left to go back to cali in his truck and i left my cellfone at home so we were il communicato. he drove away from me crying in the parking lot near my bro's old apartment.

wah.

i'll be back tomorrow sometime. happy weekend.

this is schrader. he is such a hooker. we funneled last nite with ollie and they thought i blew it but i didn't. anyway, schrader and two other guys live together in a party house and teams of girls come in thru the back revolving door and down a swirly slide and the sexy elevator what plays porno music and swades gets so wasted and goes woooooh and the swat team shows up and other stuff happens. schrader treats me like the whipping boy, er use to, well still does, but whatever, he's a homo and yesterday he had a budgie, who knows why. i think he should have his own blog. timmy too. k bye.

fucking go to my mentalcase site and leave me comments now

should i be a suicidegirl?

raymi as suede. and i think may 24th is the celebration of the actual raymi sun festival thingy whatever i am more popular than it anyway.

i am the awesomest awesome and my cell fone has been shut off.

i was fuckin terrified of harjinder. i thought he was osama. he asked me to help tie some of his headwrap material around his wrist when were in the lock-up freak out rooms so he could strangle hisself. i told on him and the lady took his cloth away. i thought he had a big sword on his person kuz he was seek (seik?) and their culture is all warrior-type shit and they carry big machetes or whatever. he would mindfuck me kuz everything he carried i thought it was a plastic explosive, a milk carton for example, he'd hold it all shaky on his plate when going to throw it out and i flipped and ran out of the cafeteria. fuck that guy. i thought he would sneak in my room at nite and kill me. when i woke up alive i thought this is it, it is eerily quiet i have to escape and then i put a sweater over my hospital clothes and took off in search of the helicopter pad and security would track me down and bring me back and i'd have a calm-down pill. i slept in my shaq shoes because i was afraid my aichilles would be sliced or i'd be sniped.

i was afraid of the sprinklers. i thought they were mines or something. and when i'd walk i'd zig and zag duck and jump constantly. in the smoking lounge i thought every cigarette was my last. i was afraid to walk on the linoleum so i always brought a towel to stand on. i thought more bombs were buried in the courtyard below. i thought this one lady was a human killing machine robot so i practised shadow-boxing.

i absolutely hated it there. the nurses were cunty bitches and i choked a couple of them when they tried to lock me up or give me pills. i thought one would stab me with her pen kuz she carried it weird in her hand like bob dole. i even fainted once in front of everyone, my legs buckled from exhaustion and nobody helped me up. i was screaming and crying and flailing kuz i thought my whole family was dead and my boyfriend too.

i demanded to be let out the say day as osama look-a-like. if he gets to go, raymi gets to go.

one time in lock-up i put a pillow on the ledge by the window to muffle my kicking and punching sounds. i knew it would be a couple story drop but i didn't give a shit. my room smelled like pakis and i heard this weird hissing sound, i thought a snake was put in my pillowcase and a terrorist was hidden in the bedframe i needed to get the fuck out of there. i even felt little snake bites which were prolly flea bites or something from the gross bed.

i walked around in circles talking to myself. i never heard voices other than my internal dialogue tho. i put a towel around my neck and pulled it tight. i always had a towel in case someone was going to strangle me. my neck was so thin i would be an easy target. i wanted to fuckin die. i saw the crazy white ladies walk by and give me sheepish looks. they were in on it. i pounded on the walls screaming for help. my body was heat sensored so wherever i went they would find me. one of the ladies tried to hug me and i shoved her back into her room and slammed the door. i thought i was the carrier monkey for sars and they needed my blood for the cure and after they were done they were going to kill me.

i was going to be made an example of. all the shitty things i ever said, ever. my website my assholeness everything. and it wasn't just a coincidence i was in nyc for 9/11 and saw it with my own eyes and had my site back then.

that's enough for now.

im in the backseat and my pussy is wet and there's a beer bottle between my legs.

this sounds good only if it is really really low.

to all the girls i've loved before

giv'r

happy birthday slonky larue. we love you.

and get a blog already.

there comes a time in every girl's life when she's really got to ask herself: "Is she ready to be going steady?"
there comes a time where she's got to ask herself:
"steady or not? Do u really want to be johnnny's steady?"
Well, first of all,lets see if dating this one boy Johnny......

Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you wanna date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she preferres the company of others
To your exclusive company,
But if you're honest, and direct,
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news,
The boy will respect you for your frankness,
And honestly he'll apeciate the kind of straight foward manner
In which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends

I'm head of the class
I'm popular
I'm a quarter back
I'm popular
My mom says I'm a catch
I'm popular
I'm never last picked
I got a cheerleader chick

Being attractive is the most important thing there is
If you wanna catch the biggest fish in your pond
You have to be as attractive as possible
Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean
Wash it at least every two weeks
Once every two weeks
And if you see Johnny football hero in the hall
Tell him he played a great game
Tell him you like his article in the newspaper

I'm the party star
I'm popular
I've got my own car
I'm popular
I'll never get caught
I'm popular
I make football bets
I'm a teachers pet.

I propose we support a one month limit on going steady
I think It will keep you both more able to deal with weird situations
And get to know more people
I think if you're ready to go out with Johnny
Now's the time to tell him about your one month limit
He wont mind he'll apreciate your fresh look on dating
And once you've dated someone else you can date him again
I'm sure he'll like it
Everyone will appreciate it
You're so novel, what a good idea
You can keep your time to your self
You don't need date insurance
You can go out with whoever you want to
Every boy, every boy in the whole world could be yours
If you'll just listen to my plan
the teenage guide to popularity

I'm head of the class
I'm popular
I'm a quarter back
I'm popular
My mom says I'm a catch
I'm popular
I'm never last picked
I got a cheerleader chick
I'm the party star
I'm popular
I've got my own car
I'm popular
I'll never get caught
I'm popular
I'm the teacher's pet
I make football bets

Boy,I saw you soon as you came bouncing through the door
You and your men and them just took over the floor
Started doing your thing
And it made me notice you even more
The way you turned around and looked at me it seemed as though
You must have somehow felt me staring on the low
Something tells me you're the kind of guy I'd like to get to know

I ain't even gonna front
I ain't even gonna lie
Since you walked up in the club
I've been giving you the eye
We can dance if you want
Get it cracking if you like
Must be a full moon
Feel like one of those nights

Why is this the first time I'm seeing you around
Could you be visiting or are you new in town
Yeah,whatever the case
I'm feeling you right here and right now
Your smile and all the love you showing lets me know that you like what you see
and wanna get to know me too
This could very well be a start of something special
Happy that I met you

I ain't even gonna front
I ain't even gonna lie
Since you walked up in the club
I've been giving you the eye
We can dance if you want
Get it cracking if you like
Must be a full moon
Feel like one of those nights

I didn't think that I'd come here tonight,meet someone like you
Start feeling the way I do
Seems like we've known each other most of our lives
After one conservation,this must be right

hey kurt cobain,

i was totally in love with you and i thought i WAS you and i fantasized about meeting you at my old cottage on the deck by the beach and saying i knew you weren't really dead you are mine now or something.

and then i was in love with damon albarn from blur.

and then i had my first boyfriend mike who was one year older and i lost my virginty to him on his basement floor and jeopardy was on no joke and when i went home i smelled a weird pungent candy smell for awhile and i didnt really bleed til the second time. we dated for one year and 8 months and i was loyal the whole time.

anyway, before that, in grade six i had a garage sale, saved up the money and bought in utero, incesticide and the nevermind cassettes. wicked cool.

yo your woman is crazy fucked right now huh. shame really.

i was like that in la. crazzy stringy hair 'n all spurting crap left and right. not literally. wordically. neeahht.

i think i'm going to take a photography course and write more articles and actually get paid for them, clean up my act and get a model portfolio done, sing more, get my license and excercise.

lie down in the park in the middle of my back yard on my back in a red and grey striped sweater and catch rays. blek.

i want to buy a slip 'n slide.

i'm going to start an illegal lawn-dart gambling competition ring. but first i have to practise like mad. we have these darts from way way back and now they're outlawed, out of make. thunk through my head.

ok well bye.

i wish i could see in the dark. i couldn't read any of the words on the dryer dials last nite, just when your eyes begin to focus, things decide to get wavy wiggly wobbly so you pretend you know what you're doing and press n turn everyfuckingthing you can. i walked thru this puddle of water on schrader's carpet last nite from the leaky fishtank, only 4 times and especially right after i put my brand new dry socks on. i am SO mexican. people would come by and walk right thru it too be cause we forgot to tell them about it. everyone was sitting with their bare feet all over the place. we were suppose to go to le bar but it did'nae happen.

went over to the boy's and watched the rest of gummo. i coudn't get over how sensually disgusting the kid is whilst eating that chocolate bar in the dirty bathwater tub. and his mum is obviously a sketchbag but there's love in her heart for the ugmo lil guy when she lathers up his hair astroboy-like and shakes the suds off her hands right into his spaghetti and milk. i'm not even going to talk about the piece of bacon taped to the tile wall.

patrick swazey is sexy. i would pay to touch him.

This dog walks into a bar. The bartender says "Look, we don't serve dogs here." The dog says "I'm waiting for a genie." A monkey cozies up to the dog and says "For a twenty I'll give you a night you'll never forget."

So the dog yells "All right! Where's that girl with the loose tooth?"

i screamed like the hurtingest woman ever on drop zone at canada's wonderland and i got the worst burn on my shoulders and neck and arms and i got mustard on both the prizes we won like immediately. i hate mustard. i got this eyedropper thing, a liquid lunch it is, the flavor of bbq chips. more like bbq saliva-vomit.

sometimes i just want to throw all my clothes out the goddamn window at the old man next door and make secret fart noises and hide so he will go cucko trying to figure out if there is such thing as a garden what farts.

there was a concert and kristi's mum invited me to it and there were a lot of people milling about when the stage blew up and knocked the band over and they all died people scattered bodies everywhere i thought i knew who dunnit then i get a call later and it's kristi and she says she did it so i rat her out and she is crying on the fone they take her away and i made her mum cry when i said yeh thanks for inviting me to this concert i had a great time despite your dotter killing everybody and we are now walking in this underground tunnel and there is noxious gas everywhere and our footprints and handprints are smeared on the walls and floors so they know where we are and then we are on the highway and a van pulls up beside us full of flips and one is rena and she has a machinegun and she blasts the fuck out of our car and then i saw my dead grandpa and said oh i'm sorry i'm dreaming.

when i take my crazy pills at nite my dreams are amazing.

tim we need to fucking talk call me pronto