that before too long i'd fall in love with her

instant karma

instant karma's gonna get you

gonna knock you right on the head

you better get yourself together

pretty soon, you're gonna be dead

what in the world you thinking of

laughing in the face of love

what on earth you tryin' to do

it's up to you, yeah you.

instant karma's gonna get you

gonna look you right in the face

you better get yourself together darlin'

join the human race

how in the world you gonna see

laughin' at fools like me

who in the heck d'you think you are

a super star

well, alright you are

well we all shine on

like the moon and the stars and the sun

well we all shine on

Ev'ryone come on

instant karma's gonna get you

gonna knock you off your feet

better recognize your brothers

Ev'ryone you meet

why in the world are we here?

surely not to live in pain and fear

why on earth are you there

when you're ev'rywhere

come and get your share

well we all shine on

like the moon and the stars and the sun

well we all shine on

come on and on and on on

yeah yeah alright ah ah

etc.

by john lennon produced by phil spector from the EMI Records album SHAVED FISH

From: "no name policy"
To: parkdaleraymi@hotmail.com
Subject: yet again...
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 10:56:20 +0100

i'm confused. it seems that you are soliciting comments about the anti raymi thing when you know full well that i have no site to answer back on and no method to post comments because you blocked my isp. i have no problem with that, but don't post untruths about supposed contact with your loyal fanbase unless you have some substance to back it up. i have left comments to people who felt the need to leave comments on my blog, but because they are too scared to engage in reasonable debate none of them ever left email addresses. i certainly wouldn't contact anyone through your site as that is a very lame thing to do - unless of course they say something about me with which i disagree. the thing which i find really amusing is that people keep saying things like 'let it go'...hmmmm seems the only person who has yet to let it go is yourself. i'm sorry if you think i'm an ass, but i'm still right and as the days roll by it seems that more and more of your readers are intent on proving my point...which makes me very happy indeed.

i'm sure you won't dignify this with a response, but i would be interested in seeing the so called contact that i made with your msn'er as i neither use msn at home or at work. not only would this be an impossibility but to be honest i prefer face to face contact not snatched conversations with faux friends.



anti as in antidisestablishmentarian.blogspot.com
my ex boyfriend in la
leave me the fuck alone

raymi

----- Original Message -----
From: Bob
To: H****
Sent: Thursday, August 19, 2004 9:06 AM
Subject: Fw: Immigrants Poem

>
>
> Illegal Immigrants Poem
>
>
>
>
>
>
> I cross ocean,
>
> poor and broke,
>
> Take bus,
>
> see employment folk.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Nice man treat me
>
> good in there,
>
> Says I need to
>
> see welfare.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Welfare say,
>
> "You come no more,
>
> We send cash
>
> right to your door."
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Welfare cheques,
>
> they make you wealthy,
>
> Medicare it keep
>
> you healthy!
>
>
>
>
>
>
> By and by,
>
> I got plenty money,
>
> Thanks to you,
>
> Canadian dummy.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Write to friends
>
> in motherland,
>
> Tell them 'come
>
> fast as you can.'
>
>
>
>
>
>
> They come in turbans
>
> and stolen trucks,
>
> I buy big house
>
> with welfare bucks
>
>
>
>
>
>
> They come here,
>
> we live together,
>
> More welfare cheques,
>
> it gets better!
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Fourteen families,
>
> All moving in,
>
> But neighbor's patience wearing thin.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Finally, white guy
>
> moves away,
>
> Now I buy his house,
>
> and then I say,
>
>
>
>
>
> Find more people
>
> for house to rent."
>
> And in the yard
>
> I put a tent.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Send for family
>
> they just trash,
>
> But they too,
>
> draw welfare cash!
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Everything is good,
>
> Soon we own the neighborhood.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> We have hobby --
>
> it's called breeding,
>
> Welfare pay
>
> for baby feeding.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Kids need dentist?
>
> Wife need pills?
>
> We get it free!
>
> We got no bills!
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Canadian crazy!
>
> He pay all year,
>
> To keep welfare
>
> running here.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> We think Canada
> darn good place!
>
> Too darn good for
>
> the white man race.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> If they no like us,
>
> they can scram,
>
> Got lots of room in
>
> Pakistan.

>
> SEND THIS TO EVERY
>
> CANADIAN
>
> TAXPAYER
>
> YOU KNOW
>
>

BLYTHE!

she is in my house!

AND!!

she is DRUNK!

the first thing she did was take off ALL of her CLOTHES and put on her british flight attendant pantsuit sans the overcoat thing and posed with my big learning html for rainman book on thr stereo speaker and she FELL OFF it backwards and got dust and cat hair all over her face and she called me a SILLY BITCH!

the little blythe is j e a l o u s.

and locked herself in the clothes chest, i am not even lying.

ok i have to skateboard into town and buy BEERnazis say hi to aimee at work by staring at her thru the window and licking the screen and also say hi to todd and andrea

cid i am sorry that i am not your sucky father so i don't make your cat kibble into hot soup slop. when fil gets back he'll do it and you can like, fuck off and stuff

also, me and aymee watched barber shop 2 last nite.

there are at least 560 comments i have to make about that film but it will have to wait, ok?

From: Janet
To: suitesoleil@hotmail.com
Subject: hey please help


Hey! my name is Janet and i read your web site its a pretty good website you got nice tips and ideas on it.

i am 16 years old and i wana become like the girl next door kinda type but i allso want boys to think that they have a chanse with me but in the end realize that they got to work harder.

i know i could do it most people say i'am allready the girl next door type but i gotta work on i a little. i am very good at flirting and hitting on guys BUT only once i'v actually started talkin to them. I' am very bad at introducing my self and approching a boy even a girl and meeting them.

lol i usually get my friends or someone who knows the person to do it for me :P
can you please give me some tips on it.

please i would really appriciate it you sound like a really good expert at these things and i would love to get your advice.

thank you . Janet

hey lil janet

i am going to post your email on my website so i can get feedback from all the peoples

and then give you my opinion

sometimes i can be biased

and getting advice from the boys helps too

ok?

love you , raymi



beautiful mumraymi after i did her hair

here's the thing about being spoiled.

i always paid my own way

the only thing my parents half-paid for was england and they suggested that i go, i worked at the hardware store whilst going to school and being cool and retarded and fucking lawyers in toronto and so being called spoiled by someone who chose to not live with their family or whatever yeh it is annoying but it's understandable, just 'cos i chose to stick around for awhile doesn't mean i got pampered and spoiled to the max.

it wasn't peaches and ream cream, ok people?

i am spoiled in the fact that i say what i feel and think when i think it and i slam doors and walk away and say fuck you and go do my thing because that's what i gotta do and then i write about my miserability in my journals and be all promiscuous and read cosmopolitan and drink a lot and move away to nyc then to maine then to toronto then i go crazy.

spoiled?

no no no.

enabled, mo'like.

spoiled because my parents stuck it together for the sake of me and my brother and he has a kid when he is in grade ten and then finally diagnosed with ADD and i am like an idiot savante 2000 styles and a girl with boy qualities and minx shit and i basically write my own self-fulfilling prophecy, outcast society, which turned into the last minx, and raymi, was the girl, was the lauren and i wanted to be in a mental institution because i thought it would be SO COOL and then girl interrupted came out and i was like what the fuck grrr.

because i thought a mental institution book would be the most amazing of a premise for a nooknovelbook

anyway

MSN account says:
setting up messenger on my windows system. BRB.

MSN account says:
still downloading the windows version.

raymilauren says:
ok

MSN account says:
i just rode my harley for three hours. I got both sunburned and rained on. I feel weird

MSN account says:
anti im'ed me to say he was pissed about my comment. I told him I was staying out of the whole thing.

MSN account says:
felt like he was trying to get me to agree with him or say something bad about you or something. I dunno. I told him I'm just some guy over the internet. I'm not going to get involved in someone's personal life.

MSN account says:
setting up messenger on my windows system. BRB.

raymilauren says:
he is doing that shit all over the web

MSN account says:
yeah. i thought it was pretty sad.

MSN account says:
there you are.

raymilauren says:
he is going to all the people who love me AND TRYING TO BRAINWASH them and influence them

MSN account says:
well, dammit, now I need to get a web cam.

MSN account says:
bah. I don't know him.

raymilauren says:
whatever , i on the other hand do not have the time to do the same with his people so whatever, there is money to be made now, if he wants to sit around like a ten yr old then go for it

MSN account says:
absolutely.

MSN account says:
speaking of money to be made, how's that going?

raymilauren says:
it's going good

bipolar is all about control and organization and making your own crap make sense to you

and you alone

and in the middle of the nite you re-arrange everything and then you wake up and everything is forgotten and your friend is like where in the fuck is my shit and is in a flurry and angry at you and you are angry at them for not understanding your logic, dis-logic, pretty much, and everyone around you suffers to all hell

but you are suffereing too. you're "happy" and everyone just sits there and watches your self-nutsy campaign

and no one steps in to save you from yourself and stop your retardedness until you run out of the house and straight to the looner-lodge and make-out with four-point restraints and a tranquilizer needle in yer left hip and you are screaming this is traumatic this is traumatic

and you're crazy for a little while

a long while

a hell of a long while

and you have to fix yourself with the help of others

but still

nothing can be said in your state to aid in snapping you out of those thoughts in the right way

you can't even tell your own person how to make it work

and in the looner-lodge things get worse by "getting better" because your psychiatrist only stops by a couple days in the 7 day stretsh you are there and the nurses mind-fuck you and so do the other patients because they are schizophrenic, scam artists, suicidal, EVERYTHING you could dream of.

this is not 'nam, walter.

i told dylan that if i cannot be guaranteed prom kingage then i. am. not. going.

that's nick my homeless indie photographer who smokes native indian cigarettes and has a ghetto tape deck in his humpty that plays your cassettes in slow-motion. sick!

my mind just goes blank

some things are funny

three days she is on pain chills and lucky lager

her heart is her liver

three red silhouetted show girls

can-can

you're so deep

the longer the vaginas are away from each other

the more

well

you know

tomorrow morning i will email

tomorrow afternoon

i will clean

clean my dirty soul

sorry goth



you're putting me in now?

yeh

ok

put it in after

put it in after i said ok

no

stop it

are you going to type everything i say?

raymi the minx

inspiron 8200

have you ever had chicken pox?

i'm getting my first wisdom tooth and it couldn't have exposed itself at a more suitable time in my life

so much wisdom so much insight so much truth

my left and right brains are channeling

the synapses are sparking like jumper cables in a vacant parking lot and you tell me that you don't have the time to give me a boost so i sit on a curb to sharpen my senses and then i rifle through my wallet for the photograph of my neice and then i decree aloud,

"what world is this."



my new boyfriend

this is me in my pretend studio orifice.

blythe has a problem

a drinking problem

the problem is

she doesn't drink

enough

listen up gossip queers

it's none of your damn business

you wanna know, fucking email me then

don't stir the pot by saying this that the other and assuming they wants to lay you

you want knives in my back or not, you fucking delivered them

i don't have time for this mickey mouse bullshit

any friggin' more

just remember what it was like in the beginning

before you ever came here

before we met

i moved to toronto and linked everyone and now i can't be with you's all 'cos it brings me too much stress too much drama and too much pain to hear lies and gossip and rumors

i don't want any part of it anymore

we can be friends and talk about the good ole gays when things were clever and angst-filled

don't go all over the internet getting your link above mine just because you think it makes me angry

it's kinda laughable

that you're still like that

don't go around commenting linking and fake-loving

'cos i know what it's really all about behind the scenes where "the magic happens"

a blog is a blog is a blog

you fully admitted you ripped me off from the start and this is the respect i get now

i took down ALL links and would link you gladly in a post and you know it but your ego won't allow you to ask and you don't even have to

i have far too many emotions over it right now to do anything about it

you knocked me up, i had an abortion and now i have an iud that is tearing my cervix apart

i never wanted to have an abortion and i know the hatemail that will come from mentioning it but yeh, not a day goes by that i don't think about it

you did yer thing when i was a crazy loon and that shouldn't have happened

the abortion had to of happened, all the medications i was on at the time, the thingamaling would of had arms growing out of it's eye-sockets

and now i think i won't go to heaven

because of us not because of you because i know that i am far from blameless in all of this

i chose my road i chose my path and all paths eventually lead to heaven but right now things are pretty hellish and this bloog of mine is a burden and a blessing sometimes it is one more than the other

i just want to start fresh

and i don't ever plan to forget

the way

you looked

that nite

blogger why the fuck do i have this ad-thing now? is it because i am special or annoying and vapid and ridiculous? why didn't you email me first. no other blogs i have seen has it yet. guh? fuh? muh.

whatever.

we talked about artificial intelligence and how we have to make the pool cleaner un-a.i. to make it truely random and then i got stung by a bee on my right hand in the palm and i didn't cry i was just like wow, what a fucker, at least the stinger didn't go in, but to feel the pain slowly shooting up my arm etcetera etcetera... i haven't been stung in a very long time and the pain was actually, pretty fun.

aimee and i have a free dinner date meal tonite and we are going to be on our best behaviour and not be drunk, yet at least. there's no booze there yet. i just got off the fone with her and she is like what? and i was like i know! i asked if we could bring our own like in massachusetts and zak was like, no dice.

so i am learning more about being a website gayface and i am reading the 2002 microsoft FrontPage insideout thingamaling. im not reading the 2004 because that one isnt here. i can't wait til i am at page 1213! it's as thick as the yellow pages.

what else?

nothing.

look i dont even care about your blog ok
get over it
i do not know why it doesnt work
i banned you because i dont have time for pissy little crap anymore
it is nothin personal
otherwise i would argue with you for hours
all in all i prewarned you
dont talk shit about something until u know the whole background
and they stick up for me kuz they do know my whole story and respect me
because i have struggled and kept shit together
and some little kid in the uk is dissing on them for liking me?
that disses on me too
i told u you would be banned
and then i banned you
i dont have time for ignorance
sorry
and no i am not going to track you down
just letting you know that if it ever comes to that
with u or anybody
raymi aint no fool

what exactly happened to your site anyway?


>From: "no name policy"
>To: parkdaleraymi@hotmail.com
>Subject: RE: do you see the kind of shit I have to put up with from your followers
>Date: Mon, 16 Aug 2004 12:04:29 +0100
>
>raymi,
>
>i don't understand, i get all the abuse for apparantly hating you
>and not once have i used the word. sure my blog name could do with
>some tweaking in the name of diplomatic relations, so if that is
>what offends you let me know and i'll change it. i still stand firm
>on my opinions of your followers, they are biased because they have
>deep respect for you, therefore less likely to tell it like it is.
>if one of my firends is being a complete twat, then i'll tell him
>so. ok, fair point about not wanting to surround yourself with
>people who kiss your ass, however self-selecting who can and can't
>leave comments kind of negates that argument. i'm sure you'll agree
>that not everyone who leaves comments are adult and intelligent, i
>mean - look at jimpy for christ's sake. i never said you didn't
>care for me so i;m not sure where that came from? if you assumed
>this because of something i wrote, let me know and i'll either
>clarify it amend it. and yes i am in the uk, i'm not sure what you
>can gain from tracking me but if you want to know where i live then
>just ask, i'm not hiding behind internet anonymity and will be more
>than happy to let you have some details about me. again i'm not
>sure why you'd want them unless you think you have local connections
>and you plan to have me deposited in a ditch. if you're trying to
>get me in trouble with my isp, i can only see that as a little
>uneccessary, but if you think the end justifies the means so be it,
>i'm powerless to stop you. my blog has already stopped working so i
>supose you can feel a little happier about that, although having not
>means to contest it is a bit unfair.
>
>anyway, i'll respond to the other email messages to. so, i
>suppose...to be continued
>
>
>>From: "Raymi Lauren"
>>To: no_name_policy@hotmail.com
>>Subject: RE: do you see the kind of shit I have to put up with from
>>your followers
>>Date: Fri, 13 Aug 2004 13:24:32 -0400
>>
>>listen faggot
>>
>>I started ihateraymi
>>and i do not want to surround myself with people who kiss my ass
>>only
>>i surround myself with people who are intelligent and adult and do
>>not push my buttons and say things that aren't true about me
>>
>>and i never said i dont care for u
>>
>>and u in the uk mean i tracked u
>>and i could track you more
>>
>>that is all
>>
>

i like talking on my banana telephone and passing it off to person i am with and they go you are weird AND I go no, YOU are weird.

ok so here i am again with my naked self.

i'm not porn and i am not smut and i am not a slut and i have fucked more people than you prolly, well not more than tyranny has but still, up there and yeh that may be sinning according to your god or their god or my god, oh god. but what about porn stars and ron jeremy? what about sadam's sons raping girls killing them? what about jerry springer? how about them apples?

i'm not trying to revolutionize anything

i am not asking for your respect i am not asking for your understanding i am not asking for your money i am not asking for your support i am not asking for your hand in marriage or a bond or trust or faith or loyal readership lovership hovership

i just like to do what i do

i don't want to be a bad role model

i don't want your children to smoke cigarettes

ever

but if they do, i don't want to be the one you throw forks at

don't blame marilyn manson for columbine, silly america

don't blame iraq for 9/11 don't even blame osama don't blame michael moore don't blame britney spears for chewing gum and holding pepsi in her hands

don't even blame paris hilton for being famous for nothing, you birthed her, you put her in your shopping kart of tabloids and made her the skinny pretty she is

she isn't famous for nothing, that is such total garbage when people say that

anyhow

what happens from here?

we're so smart we're outsmarting ourselves i think

"blame canada" - south park duders

this is the only planet we have that we know of so far, that they tell us, and look what we're doing to it

harjinder, in the crazy hospital, told me why can't we just look at flowers and the birds, who doesn't want that? seriously. and then he hugged me because he knew i was afraid of him but liked him because i seriosuly believed he was osama and i gave him this green face cloth and said that it represented world peace to me and to never lose it, and i wrapped it around an apple that i washed for him and i said why did you want me to strangle you when we were in the lock-up room, you scared me. anyway, i told him about 9/11 and how i was suffering from post-trauma and he kinda chuckled but then it wigged him out so much he had to leave the table and go to his room because i was crying and he said i laughed at america, at those people, but now i see how it can affect one girl, one 20 year old girl in canada who lived there and here she is now. we were both so skinny and not eating right and schizophrenics were barking at each other behind us and my mum kept coming in all amused by it but mum, you don't know what it was like for me to be there, you get to come by and drop off some magazines and journals and a few hello kitty shirts and i have to wake up in fear and panic and try to escape and have anxiety attacks and hang out with people who are trying to have sex with me and people so out of their minds that to me it seems like they are telling the mother-fucking truth.

anyway.

i still want to be an ambassador for to the UN for Canada.

heh.

above photo, not crackdale

well u have to go, crackdale. u have to be assessed. and the medical shit takes so long. go to your family doctor and talk to him/her and tell em to refer you someplace. there are so many people who are all anti-doctors but dude, seriously, they're doctors for a reason

if there is a chemical imbalance in your brain in your soul

that is something you cannot possibly talk yourself out of, u know what i mean

i felt the same way

for a long time

my rationalizing no meds was all, why and how can some funny little pill fix me when i am still drowning in my sorrows, the pill makes me think i am cloud 9 whilst still surfing in the seventh circle of hell

when really, crack, it helps you function and get thru yer pain

and not ever forget it

at least go talk to someone

take it from a 21 yr old who has been hospitalised 3 times

and i met so so many people your age and older in there

suffering

and they are all embarassed over it

you said so yerself, yer parents are the ones who make u not like/trust doctors

why? what's THEIR deal. what is wrong with them?

people avoid doctors, specifically parents, because they do not ever want to be blamed for what may be wrong with their kids, when really it isnt blame, it opens you up and helps you understand yourself and your flaws and why you keep fucking up or why fucking up keeps happening to you

there are ten million other things i could/should/would say

but this is this for now

write me back whenever however

i am always here

rl

Yikes I was all drunkass when I sent that email
Sorry about that

Holy Moly I just woke up
my head is like a cinderblock
Here is a picture of Shannon's dog, Blue who rules
After I talked with you I sat around and drank yet
more beers with my downstairs neighbors in my
underwear and a t shirt
wtf

I liked talking with you, sorry I called so late
also sorry about the inappropriate email
I am drinking Coca Cola and the red sox are on tv
today

- jack

jack, i never got that drunk email you speak of, damn, and i was all i cannot WAIT to read that mail!

that's the kara-ogre. well, not thee kara-ogre, morelike, my kara-ogre equal

AND her cock stands around with a top-hat and lets her fall down all over the place and make out with a candle and i am like WOW WOW wow WOW wow!

please be my kara-ogre this thursday.

you know the place and the time and the rhymes and the enzymes, pick my ass up first!

sally and her bitch

Sj says, "choose life."

i am such a stupid idjit, it didn't even occur to me that my father might be nursing a hang over upstairs, heh. now he's up.

dear raymilauren

I tried to text message you using that crazy online text message service, but I couldn't get it to work. But dies this mean that your cell phone is up and running? Is it the same old number?

That little video clip you put up on your site kicks ass.
You look beautiful.
You're gonna be hosting your own TV show someday, and then your gonna parlay that into a movie career, and then your gonna date Jason Timberland, and I'll hear from you even less than I do already.

The closest I'll come to seeing you is when some paparazzi photographer with a big lens, and a khaki vest, takes pictures of you sunbathing topless on the deck of a yacht off the coast of Monaco. I'll be in the supermarket and see the picture in STAR magazine and turn to the old lady behind me to say, "I've seen those boobies before -- in REAL life."

Then the old lady will walk away and get in a different line.
I'll buy the magazine and cut out the fuzzy photo of you and pretend that we're still friends. I'll carry it around and talk to it. "Would Raymi like to go to the park today?"

Anyway, yes, you truly look beautiful, and your Internet show will be amazing. And only the beginning.

-Jamie

manic!

dad, where are you? both your cars are here but you are not. were you kidnapped? your cellfone goes straight to voicemail. mum is upstairs in a coma. gah!

"this is the first night in i don't know that the night is over and i have cigarettes money and pot left. i like the pound. much respect to a party that suck but got turned around because some high guy tried to backflip off the stange but landed on his neck, which stops the band, bring in the cops and then brings in RING THE AKAARM, apparently another sound is dying. oh oh, hey."

skylar has a girl in tdot or had her there, who knows, skylar are you a sky or a lar? i like your junky template, crazy all over the place, and, i saw the a.r.e as well. i heart them. i hope your girl gets back to you soon. or if she is already there...? whatevs. hi.

your pal, raymi

i should not be allowed to do interviews admist nervous breakdowns in canada whilst dating someone who is plotting to leave you in the middle of the nite and not tell you when yer on coma pills and he's trying to hit it with the blond girl.