So, I just wanted to dump a bucket of affection over your head, cuz I've been reading your vampire bat tales pretty regularly for about a month now. They usually leave me smiling, guffawing, masturbating, welling with tears, or cleaning coffee off my monitor. You're like the Patti Smith of the blogosphere. (Or maybe it's the Debbie Harry... heck, I don't know...)
It's as though Patti Smith & Bill Hicks had a lovechild after one tempestuous weekend fling & said "what shall we call her?" And Bill suggested, "how about Punky?" And Patti replied, "no, that's no good. Invokes images of that horrendous but loveable short-lived tv show from the eighties." Then she thought about it while she went back to spackling the bathtub & it suddenly dawned on her. "I know, let's call her Raymi!" And the Lord sneezed & a myth was born.
Maybe it didn't happen exactly like that. But anyhow, you rock like none other. Thought you should know. Maybe you've heard it before.
Keep it up!
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Friday, April 01, 2005
i must have cried eighty times last nite because i am a soap opera and i almost threw up but i didn't.
i went out for a smoke at one point and asked this wannabe hipster for a light and i thanked him afterward and he went, MMHMMM.
riiiiight, so you're cool man hero pants because your hair is shaped like a tidal wave and you are wearing your grandpa's blazer and jeans.
look out town, epitome of coolness over here.
in other news i think i undercooked a sausage 'cos i immediately had awful stomache pains and then i crapped like i crapped in mexico like everything from inside my body and at the speed of light. anyway i am fine now.
i like telling you my stories.
we had sushi last nite and then flew to the supermarket and beer store and made it back in time to watch survivor. it was kind of a boring episode. not enough fighting. i like how the gay guy hates everybody and how he is really good at being gay.
ok i'm gonna go darn some socks now.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
i look like an albino with this hair.
i have moody birthday blues.
i just took a birthday number 2.
the thunder made the cat afraid.
sometimes those tiny trees near highway off-ramps look like those tiny monk guys in robes from star wars and i think oh look some person is standing real still by the highway.
oprah better be good today.
last nite i dreamt i was working again in the hardware store except it was new and improved and these kids i knew from elementary school were stealing a bunch of bed posts and tubes of whatever and shoving it all down their pants and i was like HEY EXCUSE ME and all the stuff fell out of their pants and the manager came over and to this one guy i said hey man i knew you from school why you gotta 'dis me like that? and my manager was like good job.
later on i was in a house of this family's and i was peeing in their upstairs master bedroom bathroom and i was pissing all over the side of the toilet because it was weird and high and i was standing up over it for some reason and the woman walks in and i shouted HELP I JUST CAN'T STOP PEEING so she threw her husband's sweatshirt under me and i peed on it and then a tiny bat flew into the room and hit me in the forehead and i took a stuffed animal and beat it to death.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
tomorrow it is my birthday.
i started making one of those amazon wishlists but i got bored of looking for stuff that i want after 5 minutes and then i went over all the stuff i picked out which was like 5 items and thought i don't even want this crap and i don't expect anyone to buy it for me either so i'll have this pathetic please buy me something link on my site and then everyone can pick through my pathetic taste in clothes and hello kitty junk, fuck that.
today i saw a kid whip a chili bean burrito at his friend's windshield and then the friend got out of his car and dumped his can of coke all over the first kid's car.
my hair is retardedly more blond now.
i look 17 years old again.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
apparently i slept-walked two hours after this photo was taken. what a winner.
i have nasty bruises all over my knees from dancing like a moron at aimee's easter party on sunday. i am crazy for floor spins and sliding across the room on my knees because i am joey ramone and everything i touch turns into rock&roll.
longboarding was good and then it turned into afternoon pints and crappy lunch specials and now i feel sleepy and crabby.
i cut my bangs some more yesterday. one side was too angular so i snipped it off and then i noticed the other side being all long and flamboyant and so i cut it off and then the middle part of my bangs felt left out so i took that off as well and now it is damn obvious that i am one of those bangs girls and having bangs is what now defines my personality so when i'm telling a joke someone will go OH THAT'S CLEVER BECAUSE YOU HAVE BAAAAAAAAAAAANGS!
by the end of the week my bangs will go all the way up to the part in the middle of my head.
Monday, March 28, 2005
we're going to vancouver soon to stay with the goods so i can play with their dogs and take them back with me to ontario when we leave. yesterday at the movie store i was drunk and there was this tiny dog that was following me around and so i picked it up and fil shook his head at me and said that is like picking up someone's child ie. weird. whatever, the dog wasn't even struggling. we rented alfie and it is nowhere near as cool as it seems to be in the previews and i am glad that susan sarandon told him that she was banging this other guy 'cos he was younger. player guys are douche bags who think they're so interesting and usually say, "man, there should be a book written about MY life, it's SOOOO crazy guy!!!" fuck you.
anyway, ya, the goods and also that arts county fair backstageness - k-os, metric, stabilo, and matthew good. i will be the one vomitting out of my ears. that is all.