today i just wanted to wear my black velour lounge pants and mocassins in an attempt to give up on fashion entirely but i just looked in the mirror and realised i appear to be embracing retirement instead. we bought new bubble gum toothpaste yesterday. choosing new toothpaste is fil's favourite time of the month. "i have to get the right one." and whatever i choose is obviously wrong. anyway, it tastes good but it doesn't get rid of stinky cheese breath.

jamie said something nice about DEAR RAYMI. go look.

a few letter excerpts from my book while you wait:

Raymi,

I was sorry to hear about you getting shot in the ass.

--
Your pal,
Dave



Raymi,

I have read your blog and your articles on Rocketpack.

I will pray for your soul, in hopes that on judgement day the powers that be
will overlook your damning behaviour and allow you to be free. Mind, body
and soul. You will finally experience the existance of pure being. Never to
repeat your confused and perverse actions of the previous life, ever again.

Besides, it's good to know there are other fucktards running about the GTA.
I don't feel so lonely now.

Keep up the good work.

I think I love you , so what am I so afraid of. The fact that I'm not sure
of...

James


I've got some black cats

let's put them in a tin can;

Blow up the fuckers.

A haiku

by Brent

i made a book. a collection of love and hate mail sent to raymi over the years, several two-minute drawings and a bonus interview and it costs twenty dollars. why don't you go and buy it!

this is what the back looks like:



how fucking professional.

anyway. tell all your friends.

here is an email snippet teaser:

Everybody says to me, "Tell me about raymi."

I just got back form Paris. I was staying with my friend Brian's ex-girlfriend.
She asked me about you. I told her you were the coolest.

I met a girl from Toronto in Amsterdam. She asked me about you too.
I said good things.

I'm still in Europe. I'm supposed to leave on Wednesday, but I don't wanna go.
Come meet me here and we can ride bicycles and I'll take you to romantic places
and you can break my heart.

raymi says:

from now on u can call me ASS CANCER

Jamie says:

heh

ass cancer says:

see look there

Jamie says:

be careful

Jamie says:

it might stick

Jamie says:

my grandfather had it

Jamie says:

but he died of a heart attack

Jamie says:

probably had it as soon as they told him he had ass cancer

ass cancer says:

oh

ass cancer says:

hahaa

ass cancer says:

aw

ass cancer says:

im sorry

ass cancer says:

just the term ass cancer is fucking hilarious

ass cancer says:

im actually giggling right now

Jamie says:

s'ok i hardly knew him

me being dropped off at the AA convention.

last nite i drank an entire bottle of red wine at band practise because i am a superstar.

i just got caught picking my nose by some younger boy in the alley.

i am putting up a book later today so watch out for it. it's called DEAR RAYMI.

quote of the fucking day hey, cheat on my brother all you want dude, you're fucking awesome.

if you want to be my next quote of the day follow these simple steps.

1. stop writing shitty not funny things on your blog

2. make me fucking laugh

3. say that your brother's girlfriend can cheat on him

i pulled the string on my iud a little bit last nite because i am stupid and now my cervix hurts and i have cramps. thought you might like to know that.

this is fun to watch

there is this one part in war of the worlds where they are walking into boston and you can see the skyline and it is all in flames and ruins and there's a sign that says WELCOME TO BOSTON and i said to fil, heh, more like BURNSTON.

i thought that was the best thing i said all day.

we saw kiefer sutherland playing pool at the horseshoe on saturday. i know! he's tiny and skinny. i was too nervous to ask for a photo though and fil objected doing it because then i would be unhip. i was saying things like oh man i hope he stands beside me to order his drink and then i tried to time having a smoke outside with he and his posse but i, anyway, this story is lame because i didn't get his picture and i didn't meet him and i think i may have creeped him out from staring way too much.

then we traipsed over to the harbourfront for the free apostle of hustle and feist show and we hung with eryn and his ladyfriend and it was fun but chilly so i bought a t-shirt.

fil and i went to the drive-in last nite to see war of the worlds and before that was the longest yard which actually wasn't too bad. after walking back from the bathroom to our car i tripped over nothing and took a spill in front of a whole row of cars right to the gravel and ripped my jeans at the knee and bled like mental and i jumped up, turned around to everyone and said i'm OKAAAAAAAY with my hands in the air like i meant to fall and no one said anything at all, not one oh my god, ouch, whatever. fucking assholes. it HURT!



when i got back to the car i started crying like a big gay and fil was like woah i put the car backwards check it out and i'm like waaaaaaaaaaah bawl bawl moan and then i showed him my injury and he said wow that is pretty bad.

when we got home i put bactine on my knee with my pants down around my ankles and my boots still on and everything else and hung my body half over the couch like an autistic moron and fell asleep like that for a minute or two.

oh yeah we went to niagara falls during the day yesterday. if all the people died tomorrow i seriously would be fine with it after hanging out there and if their bodies were all over the place in the streets and cars stalled in intersections, the stand styles, i would just walk right over their bodies and buy some cotton candy.

i am trying to not eat carbs or drink beer so i am kind of extra bitchy.

what else can i tell you about?

oh yeah in grade nine at the catholic school my friend julia and i were heavy into sailor moon and i would watch it every morning waiting for my ride and then at lunch time we would discuss that morning's episode. anyway, there you go.