last nite i dreamt i was best friends with paris hilton and i drove her jeep all over town and was wearing her clothes and i backed into this asshole's car cos he parked it right behind me and i had nowhere else to go so i slammed into it and i was screaming like that fat lady in fried green tomatoes when she smashes up those girls' car in the supermarket parking lot, like MENTAL, and then the SWAT team was after us and other stupid crap happened like climbing in ceilings and walking on broken glass.

i've exceeded my bandwidth and it's not even the end of the month yet though indiko is being nice and allowing me to exceed it more. i guess this means i have to post less photos. arg.

i always feel like shit after eating shwarma and that's how i feel right now and i want to give a special shout out FUCK YOU to douche bags in my comments saying my writing is lousy.

we just watched the players club you shorts wearing trip ass bitches.

there was suppose to be a tornado today.

the end.

this is my new favourite blog.

ok here is a snippet of what i am working on:


This is the thing with sadness that I have learned in my twenty-two years:

It follows you everywhere you go. You cannot run from yourself as much as you think you can. You just can't and so all the time you spent lying down on the couch upside down in your family room in xyz suburbia you will spend just as much time doing the same in xyz big city except it is ten times more pathetic in the city because then you get to see how much of a failure you are.

The shit is right outside your door and you are finally doing what you whined about doing all along but really what you did was go someplace out of reach, out of touch so your parents and loser old friends can't see you watching shitty television and eating grilled cheese sandwiches with asshole roommates. Good for you. Clap, clap.

Eventually you get your shit together enough to do something about your sadness and you decide ok tonite I will go out and get fucked so you take your stupid journal/novel and go to some what is suppose to be hipster bar and get wasted and write about how neurotic you are. Pathetic.

This is suppose to be a book about all of that.

there should be a blog for mean people who comment on blogs and say nasty shit. they should start their own fucking blog and just be mean to eachother though it's probably all the same person so whatever.

last nite i was bad at darts as usual and i got really drunk and cried and stormed off home.

i started writing another book that i will probably not finish and i think i am dyslexic because every word i type is backwards or maybe my fingers are stupid.

anyway if i don't post as often it's because there is magical magicalness happening elsewhere.

i lowered my book price to $17.75 so why don't you buy it?

raymi, do people ever tell you that your problems aren't really problems, just 'cause you're pretty?

i ran out of crazy pills. i have to go get some but i am too lazy so i am just going to drink wine instead.

the natasha concert is tonite at the drake and it is free. go to it.

my nose is a snot factory right now because the way cid shows his love is by shoving his nose inside of your nose over and over again and then making out with your ear. i totally regret cutting my hair but only a little bit. val said last nite that it looked professionally cut. i still want to cut it a bit more but i won't cos fil said he would break up with me if i did. pfft. i didn't hang out with mark afterall last nite because he took his antipsychotic and therefore couldn't go out boozing so fil and i went for a drive in the country then met up with martin and val to talk about the csi board game they bought and then we went home and played the worm game on xbox and i changed all the player's names to dirty ones like pussmouth and fuckhead and so on.

i feel like getting TRASHED tonite but i don't have any money but that's ok because mark will pay for everything and since i have special olympics hair he will want to pay even more. he went and got some help about the voices he was hearing and realised that it was just his internal dialogue going nutso.

now that i have stupid hair i have to cock my head to the side and make my neck all intellectual and smile a lot and say random clever sketchy shit RAHAAHAAAAAAAAAH!

there is a car machine thing outside with a big vacuum and it is loud.

i am dyslexic.

fil is vacuuming his head.

we're making bacon and pasta and garlic and other stuff and i just ate a piece of bacon with onions and did the i love eating bacon dance in the kitchen which essentially is the running man but then i felt like a gay so i came here to write about it on my blog.

fil shaved off the majority of his facial hair and now looks twelve years old and i went mentally retarded and cut more hair off so it is long on one side and all hacked-off on the other and is ten different lengths oh and i also gave fil another bad haircut. we look like kindergarden rejects.

i'll post pictures tomorrow.

tony and i chatted again

naughty james

do you believe in saving the environment?

yes

well why don't you start by picking up some trash like me?

i cut about a foot of hair off my head and now it looks like i am wearing a bad wig.

i hate my life.