yesterday was a family dinner at chez whitehouse and i got to see rocky (cat) and he is so fucking cute i want to put him in my mouth and fil wants to throw him up in a tree so he can lay his eggs. fil tried to catch a rabbit in the backyard but he couldn't. we played poker. i drank a lot of wine and then we watched dodgeball at fil's and i drank more wine and passed out halfway through because i am awesome and fil had to walk me to bed and take off my clothes and i don't remember any of that. he had to fight me out of them or something.

yesterday was my neice's 7th birthday and today everyone is going to one of those annoying places with balls and games and creepy costumed fucks and i am not going because i have bad nerves and will most likely end up nursing a pitcher and then blowing fifty dollars just to win a green plastic comb and some gummy bears.

the last time i went there with mark and thom for beer and pizza i pretty much had an anxiety attack and fantasized about yelling at all of the children.

RAAAAAAAH!

play this game NOW.

i wrote on fil's blog cos he told me to.

i still have to finish watching the end of the machinist so don't tell me what the ending is or i will BAN you. i didn't watch survivor, i was going to but i had to go drink beer at the tavern instead and play megatouch. we watched all of ray though, i really liked it.

i dreamt that four people i know died and there was this mass funeral that was never-ending and then everything turned into a video game and zombies were there. fucking weird.

do you ever swallow crazy pills with beer? classy, i know, but anyway, the beer is so cold your teeth can't take it and the pill just sort of floats there in your mouth and dissolves and your teeth hurt and your face looks ugly, uhhh.



today i am going to drink beer and write a masterpiece.

eat shit.

today i fell over in the office into a bunch of stuff. i was walking around going I NEED A PEN I NEED A PEN in a high-pitched squeaky voice to annoy fil and then i tripped over my sandals and fell into all of my crap. i've also been saying YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM a lot like how the dancing hot dog does in that old buy refreshments ad they still play at the drive-in. we are going to watch survivor tonite and drink beer and watch the machinist and also Ray which is about how i use to be blind and black and have a penis.

everyone this is sarah's livejournal and she is noel's girlfriend remember she is that girl with long hair and fucked up bangs i always take pictures of. k bye.

i'm starving and if i don't get a coffee in me right now i am going to SPLODE! yesterday i did not get conditioner and i did not shower either and today fil is not going to work because his fingers are messed up and so i rolled over in bed and tried to go back to sleep and he's all HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING and i'm all I'M SLEEPING and he's all WHY and i'm all COS I'M TIRED.

true story, i know, it gets better.

and then i'm all HEY WHAT IS THIS COS YOU'RE NOT WORKING IS IT PAY ATTENTION TO FIL DAY!?

so now i am awake wearing my stupid gay dress with leg warmers and sandals and down syndrome hairdo.

fsoig;h 3htfdkgnd

the young slutty girl down the hall moved out and now some yuppie loves there i think, i just heard him in the alley talking about going to cuba and scuba diving. the apartment next to him there is this french couple and everytime they are in the alley or the hallway they are always speaking french and it's like the most beautiful thing to listen to and i pretend that we are all in a soap opera together and i'm the crazy shut-in down the hall that they never speak to. anyway.

i smell

i have to walk all the way to the pharmacy with fucked up hair to buy some conditioner

i went to the coffee shop wearing the most ridiculous shirt and booty shorts ever and it felt like everyone knew about my stupid outfit and were personally offended by it

and then i saw a boy and girl on a date and the girl said now tell me everything about you and the boy was like uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh duuuurrr

i wonder what kind of conditioner i will buy today

maybe i will buy the most expensive brand with all the bells and whistles and gimmicks

the dude who works there is a homo who tries to push pills on people

that's what i heard

dude, push away

i missed the season premiere of survivor, did anyone tape it? if you watched it email me and tell me EVERYTHING.

DORITOS PART DEUX

last nite in bed i brought the bag of doriots with me that just won't leave me alone and i ate a couple and was soonly grossed out but then fil went all fat girl psychotic and ate the crap out of them and i asked him if he was in love with eating and he said yes and then i asked if he loved doritos more than me and he said while he is eating them yes but when he is done eating he loves me again and then i asked if he loved the daily show more than he loved me and he said while it is on he loves the daily show more and then i asked if he loved the cat more than me and that's when things got hysterical.

happy birthday dude.

right now i am eating the shit out of some doritos and i cannot stop and my stomache is aching from it and i am practising pink floyd's fearless cos it is band practise tonite but it is hard to sing when you have a million doritos in your mouth oh well.

I am - ignoring YOU says:

wanna make out

I am - ignoring YOU says:

i am guessin the lithium hasn't kicked in yet

I am - ignoring YOU says:

haha

I am - ignoring YOU says:

joking

raymi says:

i dont take that shite anymore

I am - ignoring YOU says:

mental health is no laughin matter

raymi says:

thanks genius

raymi says:

why are you such a pretentious dick

I am - ignoring YOU says:

i am not

raymi says:

yes you are



I am - ignoring YOU says:

what do you mean?

I am - ignoring YOU says:

i am on online celbrity

I am - ignoring YOU says:

with celebrite comes ego

raymi says:

you arent a celebrity

I am - ignoring YOU says:

ask around

raymi says:

um hi everyone is some random guy who talks shit to me on msn famous?

raymi says:

i dont even know your name

I am - ignoring YOU says:

internet celebrity status comes fromt he blog

I am - ignoring YOU says:

i don't even talk shit to you

I am - ignoring YOU says:

i love you

raymi says:

what drunkenstepfather? why dont you fucking link to me then you piece of shit

I am - ignoring YOU says:

i dont know

I am - ignoring YOU says:

i dont update often

I am - ignoring YOU says:

there are better ppl to link to

I am - ignoring YOU says:

you're too depressing

I am - ignoring YOU says:

i will link to you eventually....no doubt

raymi says:

so should i wear bright pink then and have my underwear sticking out and hold a water bottle and hang out at movenpik

I am - ignoring YOU says:

where is movenpik?

raymi says:

how am i depressing, all i do is post photos of arty bullshit and talk about drinking and movies i rent

raymi says:

your website is terrible anyway

bear storm

fuck yeah.

so there was a robbery/hostage-taking down the street and i went over and took some photos but it seems in poor taste to post them, and they're not very exciting either. anyway, apparently the dudes got away in a cab. yawn.

we rented darkness last nite, it's suppose to be scary and anna paquin is in it. there is something about her that is so appealing and bizarre at the same time, like is it her fucking eyes or her retarded voice or humongously dry hair, i dunno, but i love her.

anyway, it was a good movie except they don't explain much to you or the reason behind this occult bullshit, it's just something that needs to be done i guess.

and of course there is a little boy who draws fucked up shit on a notepad and his pencil crayon keeps rolling under the scary bed and a carousel starts up all on its own and the lights are always going out.

the boy has these bruises around his neck that are never explained, you just figure that it's the imaginary dead kids who are doing it to him.

at least i was drunk.



oh yeh i was taking photos of my mum at the hostage hoohurrah and her friend goes oh come on that's like taking photos of car accidents in LA and my mum shushed her and went quiet it's for the blog and her friend goes what's a blog and i pretended i didn't hear her and then she asked again so i snapped and said IT'S A WEBSITE JOURNAL.

then i left before things got to be too embarassing.

more on bored and miserable rich smalltown ladies later. like, why can't they take up drinking and just fuck off already and shut up about their sense of self and healthy diets. whatever happened to the peg bundy's?



i dunno, i have this thing about my mother's friends where i seriously hate them all and whenever i bump into my mum and she is with one of her emotinal headcase self-help addicted women friends i can see this look in their face like they spend hours shit-talking me and everything about my life so i can't stand to be near them and especially when my mum tells me every single detail about their failed marriages and other crap.

there are piles of my dirty clothes all over the place and it makes me feel so exhausted thinking about them, i don't even have clean underwear. i just want to throw everything away. i started working on that script yesterday and then i put it in the mailbox, i hope it is still there.

go here and type in my blog url and see what shit looks like pirate style.

today we got slammered on the patio and then went crazy with fil's engineer stamp all over each other and then got in a fight about it.

fil said that in most ways i have the maturity of a 12 year old boy cos i try and shower every other day only, sometimes every two days if my hair is looking awesome enough. he also said that it was cos i don't know how to take care of myself and if it wasn't for him i'd have hay in my hair and mis-matched clothes and this whole conversation began once he saw how much toothpaste i use, which is a gigantic dollop.



and of course this is coming from a guy so fucking anal that if you touch his towel before he's finished showering, he won't use it.

he says my clothes are never clean and i say well if i had a proper space to store them they wouldn't be in a mountain on the floor and then it'd be easier to keep track of what was clean and what was dirty.

you should see fil's closet, he's like inspector gadget, colour co-ordinated t-shirts hung neatly it makes me CRAZY.

we went to the drive in last nite and saw the cave which is pretty fucking bad and then we saw the exorcism of emily rose which wasn't too bad at all. we got trashed and i went pee a million times.



uhh.