seeing as my first song was a MASSIVE HIT i will put the other one up already.

daddymeansyou

get ready to listen to the best song in the universe. jack and i recorded it in NYC when i was 18.

iruleit.

and yes i wrote the lyrics too. the first one is a .m4a whatever that is but here it is also as an .mp3 for you dumb people who don't know how to save things.

and i know that iruleit is a gay name but i had to think of one on the spot right now so that's what it is. oh and also because it is the best song in the universe therefore that makes me rule it.

i'll put up another one next week.

i tried to watch that movie taxi but the first ten minutes is just too ridiculous to stomache. queen latifah is this cycle courier who does all this insane biking around nyc, through macy's and off the brooklyn bridge onto the top of a truck, down into the subway and through the open doors and dodges all these cars and shit like wtf?

and then she gets back to her courier stand and everyone is all like HOLLA! and then her hot tall model boyfriend shows up and is all lovey-dovey and in a bad mood cos she is all obsessed with her bicycle and becoming a cabbie and she gets this souped up part for the engine and she is like cumming in her pants over it meanwhile hot model boyfriend has a candlelit dinner waiting for her at home and she misses it cos she has to go wait in line for her cabbie license.

fuck that.

the new shining. it takes a little bit to load.

a moment with raymi and her mom


Tracey says:

(lkkr)

raymi says:

huh?

Tracey says:

(wave)

raymi says:

nothing

raymi says:

all i see is (wave)

Tracey says:

elmo2

Tracey says:

do you not have msn 7.0 downloaded

raymi says:

no i dont

Tracey says:

get Phil to download it for you, its much better

raymi says:

uh i am highly capable of downloading it myself mom

raymi says:

is this what you do all day, send emoticons to your friends?

Tracey says:

then do it I can send you some neat things

raymi says:

not interested

raymi says:

that shit is obnoxious

Tracey says:

I'm about to leave, doing the run for the cure on sunday do you want to sponser me

raymi says:

the cure for what, homosexuality?

Tracey says:

can I come over to your house I need you to show me how to crop photos,

Tracey says:

no for the cancer cure

raymi says:

i know i was kidding

Tracey says:

where is your heart Lauren

raymi says:

sure ill sponsor you

Tracey says:

k when can I come over

raymi says:

you're all new-agey and stuff now

raymi says:

ill come over there and show you

raymi says:

after the weekend

Tracey says:

not at all I'm just living a more positive life, you should be proud of me for a change don't you think I've survived a lot of negative things you should try and be proud of me

raymi says:

i am proud of you i wasnt at all being negative

Tracey says:

I am a good person lauren

Tracey says:

try not to hurt people

raymi says:

im NOT HURTING YOU

Tracey says:

you never seem to see the good Im doing

raymi says:

i do see it holy fuck do you know how to read

raymi says:

raymi says: you're all new-agey and shit now

raymi says:

how is that bad?

Tracey says:

I'm healthy thats a good way to be

Tracey says:

I cleaned out my closet do you want any of my clothes

raymi says:

put them aside

Tracey says:

k

Tracey says:

do you want this for your blog

Tracey says:

I don't care anymore if you write stuff

raymi says:

yeh i was already cutting and pasting it

Tracey says:

k let me do a blog spot I think the producer would like the idea

Tracey says:

I'm a funny writer

raymi says:

i should make u yer own blog

Tracey says:

I have a huge following on msn

raymi says:

a huge following on msn how is that possible?

Tracey says:

no, it would eat up my life

raymi says:

not anymore than u already allow the internet to

raymi says:

ok i have to go leave me alone now

Tracey says:

I have so many people that want to talk to me cause I'm bright and funny so put me on your fucking blog they will love us

raymi says:

will u leave me alone

Tracey says:

k, let me know how the meeting goes, I want to blog with you it will be like the Osbornes

raymi says:

i have ads on my blog its an actual job now

raymi says:

yer so fucking vain

Tracey says:

k well let me blog you are vain too

raymi says:

bye

Tracey says:

we can be vain together can you phone me after the meeting

raymi says:

sure BYE

Tracey says:

and tell me how you want me to blog with you

raymi says:

oh my god shut up

Tracey says:

k thanks lovely daughter

Tracey says:

don't forget where your brain and good looks comes from

Tracey says:

call me later ox

raymi says:

uh my brains come from dad's side

Tracey says:

no way hon

Tracey says:

we see things the same way

raymi says:

maybe my mental retardation comes from you

Tracey says:

we are both nuts

raymi says:

exactly

raymi says:

ok bye for real im blocking you

Tracey says:

have to be nutty to see such art

Tracey says:

thanks for all your support

Tracey says:

bye for now oxox

Tracey says:

Kerouac

raymi says:

yes yes

georgebushdoesntcareaboutblackpeople.com

i think it's funny how some blogs or websites have really fucking tiny fonts it's like hello everything on this webpage is a secret that is why everything is typed tiny.

once or twice a week my dad calls me and is all hey man let's hang out and i'm all sure dood let's get waaaasted and then i have to call him back and be all oh wait i forgot we are going to a play or something or he calls me and is like yeah i changed my mind i just don't feel like hanging out anymore.

is anyone watching Huff right now on VOD or has seen all of the episodes? i want to start a nerdy group email discussion type thing so we can talk about it but don't tell me what is going on beyond episode 8, i just watched it and BAM KAZOOM POW it is amazing. ps. it is like my new survivor except i watch it during the day and it makes me want to do a mountain of blow.

we are going to a play tonite tho i forget the name of it.

last nite at metric i said imagine if everyone could hear what everyone else was thinking, it would be like a sea of THAT GIRL HAS FAT LEGS and THAT GUY IS A TOTAL FAGGOT and fil said well eventually people would get use to it and we'd think nicer thoughts and then this chick walked by and fil said something mean about her and i laughed. but only amongst ourselves. and then a different girl walked by and her tag was sticking out and i wished that she could hear my thoughts about her tag sticking out.

and then all those douche bags with up-turned collars would have two choices. 1. fix their collars 2. punch in the face.

then this weirdo guy was dancing like mental and a bouncer walked by and it looked like he was going to ask him to stop dancing but he didn't though it would be funny if he did.

that was funny. i'm funny.

i did a stupid thing when i changed all of the colors of my blog, i made the date the same color as my background so you can't see it, can someone tell me where in my template is the date-thing so you can read it? i don't want to change around a bunch of shit if i don't have to.

that animal thing's name is windy.

anyway, i was walking to get a coffee by this fancy restaurant down the street and all of a sudden it got totally fucking windy and it took me by surprise so i kinda blew back a bit, i don't know how to say it, but anyway these yuppie people were having their lunch in this fancy restaurant and saw me get all blown away and were laughing so i decided to take it to another level and i pretended i was in that scene in aliens where the hatch is breached and everybody is being sucked into outerspace and they have to hold on to handles and shit so i had my arms up like i was fighting the wind and leaning into it and i think it was pretty believable cos all this garbage and newspapers were blowing by me really fast and then the yuppie people looked kind of nervous and worried for me but halfway through i was like WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? and just stopped fake-fighting the wind and walked normally to the coffeeshop.

ok now for my millionth post today. we're going to see metric tonite for the fiftieth time. yawn. i'm pretty bored of metric. yeh yeh new album out soon tra la, emily haines comes off as annoyingly bitchy and not even in a hot WOW SHE IS SUCH A BITCH kind of way that makes it cool, she's just a straight-up pretentious seeming BIOTCH. and all the guys are mesmerized by it. fil calls her mrs. philogynist and every other girl singer out there as well. i'mma just stand in the back and wobble around drunk. we got guest list so that's good. oh and jason collett is opening so that is good also. i have so much energy i need to go longboarding RIGHT NOW.

nolw says:

i get this junkmail. hourly.

nolw says:
"
Imagine a new huge D1ck full of energy. Just huge.
Smash the ladies like crazy!
If your a lady, take a "monster!"
"

raymi says:

ha!!!

nolw says:

smash the ladies!

nolw says:

like crazy!

raymi says:

i love it

raymi says:

that makes me want to go thru all of my spam and make a book out of it

nolw says:

dude, youre going to like the zine im gonna try putting together

nolw says:

anyway

nolw says:

i have to work

raymi says:

then work, you are the one who messaged ME

nolw says:

ha

raymi says:

dont play that shit on me ever again

le sigh i am bored. maybe i will vacuum and smile and eat licorice whips and later buy some moonpies and penny whistles.

yesterday we played asshole and i won every game and they were mad because they had just taught me how to play and i'm all like BURN and you must be very annoyed because i am winning right now etc and so on.

yesterday we went drunkboarding for old time's sake and i even knelt down and bombed down a slopey hill and didn't land on my chin but at one point i did wipe out and my left hand scraped against the ground cos my jeans were too tight and i was locked in this crouching position and this little surfer-hair looking kid watched me do it and was impressed i could tell. i like it when 8 year olds think you are the coolest. everytime we passed this one house these drunks in their garage went WOOOOOOOOH and YEEEEARRGH. it felt like being on television.

nolw says:

for the first time:

big fucking squid

raymi says:

um isnt that bullshit

nolw says:

nope

raymi says:

squids have been photographed a hundred thousand times before

nolw says:

its the first time a photo has been taken of one in its natural habitat - deep sea water

nolw says:

...as opposed to washing up on a beach

nolw says:

or getting caught in a fishing net

raymi says:

ive seen videos back in the day of them like on discovery

nolw says:

dude

raymi says:

swimming around and shit

nolw says:

giant squid

raymi says:

oh 8 meters

nolw says:

anyway, i guess cnn and the app are lying

raymi says:

haha

raymi says:

shut up

nolw says:

about a squid

raymi says:

so is that like bigger than a car?

nolw says:

8 metres long

nolw says:

30 feet

raymi says:

woah do they eat people

nolw says:

lore says they do, but i dont think so

nolw says:

they suspect there are way massive ones down there

nolw says:

8 metres not being the largest found

raymi says:

wowo

raymi says:

i bet they strangle people to death

nolw says:

check out the little comparison chart on this page: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/2910849.stm

raymi says:

oh my god

raymi says:

but they only swim in really cold water right

nolw says:

yes

raymi says:

ok

nolw says:

theyre pretty sensitive to light, so they hang out pretty deep

nolw says:

imagine getting attacked by one though.

nolw says:

swimming in open water, and just feeling that tenticle slide up around your ankle

nolw says:

that suction, as it gets a grip



nolw says:

and tugs you under

raymi says:

i would faint

raymi says:

or maybe kick it in the face

nolw says:

its face would be 20 feet below you

raymi says:

i would cut its arm off

nolw says:

you wouldnt even see its face, just the "arms"

raymi says:

well i would remove all of them

nolw says:

yes, i could see you swimming around with a knife in your teeth

nolw says:

fishing for dinner

raymi says:

well if i was out in open water for some reason i sure as shit would have a wetsuit on WITH A KNIFE

nolw says:

and a jetski maybe



raymi says:

well whatever

raymi says:

if i was out there id have something sharp

nolw says:

i think i'd let it take me down

nolw says:

i could go for being the first, and maybe only, recorded incident of a person being killed by a giant squid

raymi says:

to its underwater abyss?

raymi says:

yeh but then no one would know

nolw says:

yes, to where the aliens are

raymi says:

that would be fucking awesome

nolw says:

and then i'd get to meet chris elliot

raymi says:

hes not with the aliens

raymi says:

is he?

nolw says:

no, he's still doing cameos

raymi says:

so how would you meet him down there

nolw says:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0254402/

raymi says:

ok i am aware of his filmography , ur talking osmosis jones?

i know you're there shredder.

a car alarm right outside has been going off now for a good ten minutes and at first i was all BLAAAAAAAHHAHAH but now i am all ahhhhh that's soothing, what's next, a powerdrill to the brain? bring it.

this is probably the best picture in the world and i want a t-shirt made out of it IMMEDIATELY. in fact i want everyone to make me t-shirts, i want one for everyday of the month and then you can knit me some sweater pants and beer mug cozies. yeh.

shitthatsfucked

90's trivial pursuit is awesome and despite fil trying to steal the glory by saying he went to pick it up it was MY IDEA a long time ago and I suggested it last nite when he asked what is something fun to do that doesn't involve being drunk and i said 90's trivial pursuit from toys 'r'us. mememMEMEMMEmemememe. so we went and i wanted every single stuffed animal there of course. and then we passed the liquor store and i wanted to pick something up but uncle fil said no way and so i turned into a complete psycho i want booze monster until we picekd up aimee and i popped a clonazepam and a couple wobbly pops. wheee.

i have also finally lost some weight. not like a lot but still, enough on the scale for me to feel a little bit better about myself finally.

i am going to be renting either a table or a room at the canzine festival which is october 30th at the gladstone. you can pick up a copy of my book and have it signed. i'm also going to be having shitty artwork and maybe some other writings together and noel is going to help me create some coolness atmosphere so you should definitely come by to look at me and whatever. there is also an all day long burlesque show. wicked.

ok i know that i write about drinking quite a bit and about being wasted and then hungover but THIS time was totally INSANE. saturday nite we went to every single bar in toronto pretty much.

rivoli
horseshoe
ronnie's
supermarket
back to ronnie's
xspace
sweaty bettie's
the drake
social
the gladstone
cadillac lounge

and fucking hell my liver is now its own country.

i kind of didn't want to go to xspace to see the gossip, not cos i don't like them but just 'cos i wanted to be a crotchety lazy drunk and be slunked down in my chair and not have to stand around with hipsters but i am glad i went afterall cos the show was amazing and yeh, totally.

then sunday we saw a teacup chihuaha wearing a tiny t-shirt off a teddy bear and i was a little bit drunk still and therefore retarded and the woman was quite accommodating especially when i was like BLAAAHH!! I CAN'T HANDLE LOOKING AT THAT THING AAAAAAAH!



and then i talked about it for the rest of the day.