i watched ella enchanted yesterday and i quite enjoyed it. last nite was fuuuucked. meeting up with samir and sharpie later. i'm glad fil has his own laptop now with wireless, we're being nicer to each other. the guy at hmv who cashed me out was super nice and chirpy it made me uncomfortable and feel unworthy like hello don't you know how mean i am?! samir says i should put my comments back up cos it's been long enough but i don't know if i am ready yet.
i joined this nerdy messageboard last nite cos i found some people shit-talking me so i zinged them all and then made friends with them. i'm so cool.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Friday, November 18, 2005
i dreamt i was "blog-spotted" at a toys 'r' us. also i love it when trucks idle in front of the building at 8 in the morning. LOVE IT!
this is what i think of that jakalope song -> wtf? when does it begin or get good cos the chorus kicks in and she is still talk-singing her stupid goth poetry and wait what? trent reznor worked on the song? wtf trent? seriously. i'm waiting the entire song for something to happen so it gets to the second chorus and i'm thinking alright dude party down and it was more like party NOTHING! the video? her being a big winged creature thing and the cliche fetus animals in the jars at the bottom of the SPOOKY stairs and she's moving back and forth reciting that gay poetry all musically posessed with her big stupid eyes and pink tipped hair?
if you're into this shit we can't be friends anymore.
best post ever.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
are you still bitchy?
i was bitchy before?
yes you were
but I forgive you
no i wasnt
but im gonna get bitchy RIGHT NOW
this is good blogging material
I'm NOT BLOGGING MATERIAL!!
I'M A HUMAN BEING!
the cat is utterly obsessed with me today and i just figured out why. it's cos of the white hoodie i am wearing. i look like a big cozy white fluffball to him and in his mind he is like I HAVE TO SIT ON THAT RIGHT NOW BEFORE I GO MENTALLY INSANE!!!!
i literally have thrown him off me at least 50 times so far.
thought you might like to know.
people who sit near me when i am playing megatouch after awhile they think i am deaf and tend to pour their hearts out to each other and they're like whatever that robot over there isn't listening but that's where they're fuckin' wrong.
i am ALWAYS listening.
sometimes i pretend i am still playing just so i can listen more.
last nite a big-boobied girl and a skinny guy (if you know who i am talking about please for the love of fuck don't rat me out. AGAIN.) were chatting, well, big boobies was doing most of the talking and skinny guy was just sitting there staring at her tits and she didn't even notice cos she was in love with talking and i am not hating on her for that, i love talking when i am wasted, i love the sound of my own voice and especially every single one of my opinions. BRILLIANT I AM!
anyway i got to thinking about how her tits are insanely massive and how skinny and little that guy was like how come skinny dudes go for chicks bigger than they are, is it a mommy thing? it must be. i know that i personally have a thing for the bigger bitches, not to say i don't like skinny girls but seriously when i see a chick who isn't 100 lbs i think of diving onto her and... anyway, i guess i'm just a skinny guy at heart.
i knew that guy was thinking fuck what i wouldn't give to just rest my face between those things cos i was thinking the same thing.
i should put a pervy post disclaimer before i write shit like this in the future eh?
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
i called the liquor store to see when they closed and i disguised my voice in case the lady i spoke to earlier answered, i think it was her. they close at 6 on tuesdays and it was ten to when i called so i was like fuck it FINE I'LL DRINK BEER INSTEAD RAAAAAAAAAAWH! and hung up.
and if you must know today's shitty movie is spanglish and so far i HATE tea leoni's character.
also showed the apartment to a couple people today. i feel so awkward having to do this cos i don't know what to say. i opened the door to the bedroom and exclaimed, "yep, that's a king size bed." although the guy didn't even ask about it and obviously it's king sized cos it takes up the entire fucking room.
sometimes i am just too embarrassing to live.
though my heart is in the right place cos i was getting at the fact that if one wanted to it would be possible to fit a king size bed in there.
i was even playing lucille star in the background cos i wanted to look productive and intelligent or something.
the landlord's assistant called me ma'am and barely speaks english.
oh yeh i went for a tan today also and the woman said so uhh, what kind of bed would you like and i paused and said well, i am kinda tan on my body though you can't see it on my face cos of all this make-up and she cut me off and said I CAN SEE THAT.
i think i ordered the fat face.
i just tried to buy some margarita coolers from the liquor store but i got carded and i didn't have any id on me and i was like listen lady i'm here so often i could be a shelf, i just went to get new passport photos do you want to see one? she said yes and then still said no to letting me buy the hooch cos passport photos prove nothing. then why did you bother letting me show you my photos?
oh cos i wanted to see how they turned out for you.
fucking hell i woke up at quarter to 5 and couldn't get back to sleep 'til 8. i blame it on the rain. milli vanilli knew what they were lip-synching about. word. the sound of that shit hitting the gutters and tinkling in the alleys outside the window makes me MENTALLY INSANE! it sounds like some faggot tapping on galvanized garbage cans with chopsticks and he's all this is my accurate depiction of the sound of rain and i'm all this is my accurate depiction of strangling you!
so i had a cigarette around 8 and passed out.
i wish i was smart enough to smoke cigarettes when i was a kid, for insomnia i mean and especially on christmas eve. i'd lie awake in bed for hours just praying to fall asleep so i could wake up faster and open presents, nite just dragged on and on and on but if i went down in my stupid kid nightgown and was all what's up mom and dad i'm just gonna have a smoke and hit the hay then i'd pass out like that!
Monday, November 14, 2005
i have to go meet fil at the bar but i just opened a beer, maybe i'll take it as a to-go. the other nite i poured a tallboy into a pint glass and we were gonna go out and i was all hey man wouldn't that be HALARIOUS if i just walked down the street with a pint of beer like SO FUNNY, fil didn't really say anything. he's getting betterer and betterer at tuning me out. if i showed up with a beer that i don't normally order at the bar they'd be all WTF SISTER!?
a week ago at the pub i shoved my 3/4 full bottle of heineken into my jacket sleeve, thought better of it and put it in the front pocket of my baglady sweater, then i thought naah i should put it back into my jacket sleeve so it looks like i don't have a left hand and i have to walk hunched over and my left arm is a foot longer than my right. i was doing this way out in the open also and just as i had changed my mind again and switched the bottle to my cardigan pocket this old couple walk by me and smile. they had been watching me the entire time and were laughing and shit.
good thing old people know better than to rat on you.
Where O where have you been my love?
Where O where can you be?
It's been so long, since the moon has gone.
& 0 what a wreck you've made me.
Are you there over the ocean?
Are you there, up in the sky?
Until the return of my love
My Hope is on the horizon
Every face, it's your eyes i can see
I plead, i pray through each night & day
Our Embrace is only a dream.
& as sure as days come from moments
Each hour becomes a life's time
When she'd left, i'd only begun this lullabye
by the time i got to grade eight i had had enough of trying to be number one with my grades so i decided to get serious about slacking off and then my mum told me i had been chosen for valedictorian and thus had zero responsibilities for the rest of the school year outside of writing my speech and so i slacked on that until the very last nite and my mum asked to see it so i offered up a few pieces of crumply scrap paper with chicken scratch on 'em and she was shocked.
i remember lying down on the basement couch, my dad in the rocking chair and my mum at the computer typing out my speech as i half-assedly dictated, it was maybe 1 in the morning by that point.
i cried at the end of saying it to the packed auditorium and i received a standing ovation.
and then i danced like the hugest slut ever with the dumbest boys in front of all of the teachers that were so fucking proud of me and my brains.
one said to my mother not to let me slack off, i could be a great big something if i tried.
i bumped into my highschool drama teacher at the canzine festival. she was sitting beside me. she said that my face had totally changed and i said what, you mean fatter? i had a beer in my hand. she looked exactly the same to me. i kind of rubbed her the wrong way in that class. i remember she had criticised something about my acting or whatever and i said a lot of shit back to her and she totally called me on being super defensive and it made me angrier, moreso cos she was right.
i met ward in that drama class. worst acting i ever saw.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
when did you take the comments down?
i always miss them.
i remember once
we were all shooting junk in this sleezy hotel room in anaheim
and this whore that was with us
had veins that were so collapsed she had to get in the bathtub to
make them pop up before she could hit herself up
and we finally got her off
and she fucking od'd and died right there in the tub
danny and lissa dragged her across the street and put her behind the dumpster
and we were still in the hotel room getting loaded
when we heard the sirens of the ambulances coming to take her away
i was probably about the same age you are now at the time
and i am probably the same age that your father is now
how german babies are made
drunk brave is the best brave.
get ready for a cool story.
last nite before the pubdezvous we went to brian and kat's house to get wasted at their basement bar and play this poor man's version of NTN where fil and i screamed in each other's faces and got very competitive. yes a good time was had by all.
"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!! oh what? we got that one right? ok." hug hug.
then off to the pub where this drunktard birthday guy was tossed out and pretty much ruined everything for his buddies and i of course had to run out and smoke to watch the bitchfest and give my ten cents worth of what i think are amazing 'disses and then i went to the bathroom and thought of all this other stuff i should have said like, insult the guy's oversized shirt, yeah i know, fucking brilliant.
then a dear old friend i haven't seen in years shows up and i was happy to see that her face was fatter and then i said a bunch of unintelligible stupid shit and she didn't even say bye to me when she left.