i love you dinky! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! XOxOXoXOXo

two years ago today on raymitheminx.com, careful it's cheesy

oh for shame there was a typo in my last post and i left it up there for ages. fuck nig. awesomest word of the day. i'm such a fucking recluse. i couchsurf my ass off. read shitty old books from my gramma's library-thing and play with my dad's slot car racetrack and accompany him to raceworld to talk to geeky fags with no teeth in the jewiest part of town. i talked to ward yesterday. ward rules. if you don't know who he is you're a loser and a half. ward works at ibm now and hangs out with this crazy confused foreigner packi guy who's a big perv and talks only about fucking. my kinda guy. anyway some broad gave ward her resume to bring to ibm and on his way to doing that he managed to spill water on it so the ink smudged all purple and smeary-like, sit on it thus crumpling it to shit and spilled coffee on it too. YAY ward! hmm what else is new in the exciting world of raymi??? oh yeah i gave my self a stupid haircut, my bangs actually. i cut them too short. it looks like i put a friggin' bowl on my head and snipped straight across. my dad and i went grocery shopping the other day and we sampled this hard boiled egg thing on a cracker and the lady was telling my dad how u can buy 'em in packages and shit and they come all ready boiled tra la la and then my dad goes, "that's an EGG-cellent idea!" har har. maybe i will win the lottery this friday. maybe not. now i will go play alchemy until i die. oh and i'm sad now that survivor is over. now i need another show to be obsessed with. any suggestions?



lets blow this popstand.

i wonder how many blog entries on raymitheminx.com begin with LAST NITE WAS MENTALLY INSANE!!! the other day i thought of doing what tony does like a year ago today on raymitheminx.com...dadda dada duh but i think it would be ridiculously embarassing and confusing.



for example this is what was going on a year ago today. a year ago today it was fil's 30th birthday and now here it is all over again. i got him a nice scarf and a sweater and got guestlist for bedouin soundclash tonite and we've been steady boozin' since yesterday 7pm.



last nite i let fil squeeze pat's fake tits. word!

glow in the dark raymi

I didn't go to bed last night. The night before I slept for two hours because I promised my dad I'd get up and drive him to his last day at a course he had to take so that he can one day get his suspended driver's license back. Sometimes I think it's not the best idea for him to be allowed to drive ever again but that's a whole other story and mostly I just want him to be okay again, if he ever was.
Am I okay? Sometimes I think yes, but then other times I'm so clearly not. I sleep all day then go to work in the evenings, then come home and stay up all night reading books and blogs and watching cartoons on television that are meant for twelve year olds and generally wasting time because I want so bad to just create something but I can never figure out what it should be so I do nothing.
I have friends, I have hobbies, I have a life, but those sorts of things only matter when you're experiencing them. The hardest thing to do is to be happy without distraction. To be yourself by yourself and be comfortable with that. I stay awake until I run out of things to do and then once I fall asleep I don't want to wake up again. I have problems with momentum.
I forget where I was going with this now. Every thing starts to get disjointed as you approach the forty-hour mark and you keep seeing flashes in your peripheral vision like little patches of self illuminating reality and you start getting so tired that you're awake again and then eventually you get to forty-eight hours and pass out lying on a fork. All the you's and your's in that last sentence should be replaced with I's.
I think my point in the beginning was that fuck I'm tired but when I got home tonight, your book had come in the mail so obviously being so far past tired I had to read it and I'm glad I did and I think that one day I want to meet you at a concert or at the fair and just go up to you and kind of nod like I'm saying "So this what everything is." and then I'd buy you a drink or hug you or something and then I'd offer you some cotton candy.


Colin

Hey Hey;

not to sound "too" stalkerish, but my buddy ordered your book from cafepress and sent it to me for Christmas.. I just started reading it and must say that so far, you're fuckin awesome. Thanks for actually "writing" in a day when so much bullshit is put into a book and we're forced to pretend to enjoy it -- when there's actually people out there like you who are able to formulate a sentence in it's most natural and honest form.


Sarah.

after reviewing all of the fotos from last nite it has occurred to me that i am really getting fucking fat and i better do something about it. anyway.

after the shoe museum fil decided to stay in and not venture out with me and my droogs and he made a wise choice because today i received my first ever for real grown up hangover, no lie. so all those other hangovers were FAKEOVERS! nice one.

we crashed jeff's (pictured) private work party at supermarket and totally threw down. melody sang dreamer by ozzie wearing a trashy negligee and jeans and hi-top sneakers and i stood in front of the stage screaming at her and going WOOT WOOT YEAH BLEEEARRGH! and also doing "the point" and nodding my head like i knew what it was all about meanwhile everyone is in office attire and being polite, responsible drunks and then back on the farm i have the microphone and am screaming beastie boys songs and making up porno freestyle raps and calling everyone bitches.

samir threw me in the snow and then i put a snow boulder down the back of his jacket and melody totally slid and fell on the icy sidewalk and it was very funny.

as we were leaving some homeless guy asked us to buy him some corn chips and i said no dude but ask that guy his name is jeff. ha!

get ready to explode looking at cuteoverload.com

it is old man fil's birthday this saturday and he will be thirty-one years old and then it is noel's birthday on sunday and he will also be thirty-one years old. i have been trying to get fil to open his birthday present everyday since i bought it but he is one of those gays who are all into being surprised and i am all LOOK AT IT NOW!! HEY PHIL LETS OPEN YOUR PRESENTS!!!!!

nobody likes me.

i like how all my friends are like HEY RAYMI MOVE BACK TO THE CITY WE'LL HANG OUT ALL THE TIME and now that i am here they're like, avoiding me. that's fine, i can make new friends. if you want to be my new REAL LIFE friend email me your phone number and you can buy me lunch! I AM SERIOUS!

anyway, i am listening to the ipod machine right now so i can't hear how loud i am farting.

also something that drives me MENTALLY INSANE in a major way is when i am finished showering and towelling-off, well before i towel-off i squeegee my body with my hands and once i get to the crack of my ass there are like a hundred hairs stuck in there, hairs from my head, long black ones and so i have to pull them all out and most of the time my tile wall hair art consists of hairs that have been in my butt. ha phil! burn on you!

read jen good's review of MD.

i guilted her into buying it by saying look i know you and matt don't know how to read but maybe you should get my book because YOU ARE BOTH THANKED IN IT!

Raymi,

I received your book yesetrday and I missed my 'International migrations' 1pm class because of it :-<

You must get only good feedback so it will just be another boring email but hear this: You have balls. I fucking respect that, especially in Art. Your prose is unafraid and yet you admit being afraid sometimes, the writing is vulnerable but in a don't-give-a-fuck-nothing-to-lose-way.

It is fair to say, I believe, that this is quite rare in waves of Post Modern cynical literature. And it's refreshing, because you're Gen Y but you're not cynical. Jaded yes, sad maybe, but at the end of the day very much alive, as funny as it may sound to you.

And this life, as shitty as it can be sometimes, you pass it on to your readers and maybe they in turn turn you into some kind of icon just because they have no one else to look up to, or maybe because they recognize themselves in you, but at the end of the day what you do is just what artists do: make other people's lives more meaningful.

So fuck, we owe you one for being fearless yet full of fears and doubts, Raymi.

Jessica

i made an amazon wishlist because i am egotistical and greedy but i don't know how to figure out my url for it so if you want to buy me a christmas present then send me an email and i will email it to you.

raymi says:

tell noel to update his goddamn flickr

raymi says:

and u sarah need to update yer blog thing

sarah says:

will do

sarah says:

been mostly friends only recently

sarah says:

do you still sign in?

raymi says:

not really

raymi says:

i guess i should

sarah says:

NOEL UPDATE YOUR FLICKR I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS

raymi says:

AND TOUCHING YOUR BALLS

sarah says:

PLEASE UPDATE WITH PHOTOS OF YOU TOUCHING YOUR BALLS WHILST READING OUR MSN CONVOS

raymi says:

YES

yuula says:

yes

ps. now i am afraid of farting

pps. ok i'm lying, i still am farting as much as possible but still in the back of my mind i am thinking, is this going to be THE ONE!?

so we moved. the morning of moving day i called the police on the sketchbag down the hall because i didn't want that shit on my conscience, he was yelling at his girlfriend and wouldn't let her leave, i've been through that situation myself TWICE before so i couldn't just not do something about it. three cops show up, three. then both parties filed complaints against one another and the cops told me whatever, this is a daily thing for them, she can leave the relationship but doesn't want to bla bla blah. fine.

when in rome, be white trash i suppose.

there is no interent in our condo so i am in an internet cafe right now. my eyes can't stay open cos of all the dust i have been in contact with and now all of a sudden i am anal about where things should be put and i am...BEING TIDY!

i know, it's scary. who knows how long it will last.

so far my favorite new pasttime is watching kids in the park beat each other up from our balcony and then at nite watching people let their dogs shit in the snow.

speaking of feces, two nites ago at the pub i farted and i crapped my pants and i threw my underwear out in the loo and ran home and changed pants. i dunno what the fuck that was about, my metabolism and diet must be totally insane. it was pure liquid. i was talking to fil's stepdad and i farted once then again and i knew immediately what had happened but i didn't want to be rude and cut off the story so i stood there screaming in my head for the love of fuck until finally i bailed and when i came back i said i had a period emergency.

when i was in the bathroom aimee called and i was like FUCCCK FUUUUUUUCK FUUUUUUUUCCKK!!!!!! and told her everything and she died laughing. i went back out into the pub and asked fil for the keys and he made me tell him why and i was like JUST GIVE THEM TO ME! and he is like not until you tell me why and i was like;

FINE!!! I FARTED AND THEN I SHIT MY PANTS! HAPPY!?

am i going to have friends after this post?

sweet jesus call this number right now, it's free and not a scam, funny as hell DO IT!

1-888-353-7667

i just wasted a bunch of time drawing that cos i wanted to make shirts out of it but cafepress won't let me use it cos of copyright or whatever but i think it's only cos batman and robin are kissing, dangit.

i'm gonna see how long i can go today without complaining about something, which is going to be tough seeing as i have to pack up more shit and write a treatment. wait, was that complaining just there? if i can't complain then i guess i can't write anything. was that complaining again? does this mean i can't say fuck? is 'fuck' complaining? i guess i can't say 'unnnngh' either. maybe i should just just, not talk altogether?

i hate my life.

oh wait... ARG!

when people say don't eat the yellow snow i want to rip their hair out of their ugly heads. that saying was not funny to begin with and it certainly isn't funny now. yeah thanks uncle tom for that tip because i was planning on going into the backyard and eating yellow snow and then go onto the driveway and eat some grey dirty snow and hopefully there will be rocks in it.

FUCK!

i hate that you have to fake laugh along with these people because they are social retards who aren't funny but think that they are.

i just made up a song and now it is fil's favourite song. it goes like this:

I'M REALLY BORED AND HUNGRY! I'M REALLY BORED AND HUNGRY!! I'M REALLY BORED AND HUNGRY!! and you clap your hands between each sentence, every other clap being a double clap.

i just screamed at fil, "IT'S YOUR SHIT WHY SHOULD I PACK IT?!"

i do not like packing, i helped for a little while and now i am EXTREMELY agitated, cos of the noise of boxes and stuff moving around. the lunatic down the hall locked himself out of his apartment and completely lost his mind and screamed at his girlfriend then she hit him after he spat at her and wouldn't give her her id back so she could leave cos he thought she was going to leave and get her dad to come over to fight him. fucking coke rage moron. then he dumped the recycling bin in the alley and now there are ten hundred catalogues and magazines and brochures rotting in the slush. my back really hurts and the dust is giving me a headache and fil is taping up boxes behind me and the sound of the tape makes me want to drink an entire bottle of vodka RIGHT NOW!

wow i am crabby.

fil dropped me on my head last nite at the christmas party and my head hitting the floor made a really loud crack noise but it didn't really hurt, it was just pathetic. i hope christmas gets here soon and gets itself over with, i don't think i can handle all this drinking. i went onto msn last nite and was rude to everyone, people who added me years ago who i don't remember. one guy i am like HEY NICE EMAIL ADDRESS WHAT ARE YOU FROM NEPTUNE?! another guy i was all I LIKE THAT YOU ARE ADVERTISING YOUR CRUISE TRIP ON MSN COS LIKE EVERYONE CARES!

i keep asking fil every ten minutes what we are going to do today and he whisper screams back at me that we are packing.