today i felt like crap and now my eyes are stinging cos fil is chopping onions. when we're hungover we usually make a big elaborate homemade meal and eat a lot of cheese and drink beer. maybe i can convince the out of towners to watch me karaoke tonite but half of me is like nah i need to take it easy. samir was waaaasted last nite and so was pierre and me too and claire i had to kneel with her on the bathroom floor, that was so rockstar, she came from upstate new york also and getting her into a cab and being all uh what is your hotel name and she named a hotel i have never fucking heard of so i was doing the she is wasted symbol to the driver with one hand to my mouth like i am drinking an invisible beer the thing is I was completely incoherent myself and i have no idea why andy's thought i would be more in control and responsible for claire, anyway, she got in alright i suppose.



i am too lazy to link these people.

i hope saturday nite live tonite is a good one if we stay in to watch it.

fil has this gay rubber chicken thing that has a tootsie pop stuck in its ass and i think it spins around, anyway, i told him to make some sort of quiz/contest for you guys to compete for it.

i am too hangoverlor to put up fotos. all please leave comments with yer urls and links to pictures or whatever. i think the best thing i said was shut up ciavarro there are asian chicks here to meet me! turns out they were sisters AND TWINS! excuse me brain explosion.



fil has some fotos up.

me dancing!

i helped my aunt make a blog. yeah! go look at her art and say nice things to her.

Capability Gray

i've been adding more videos to my buzznet video page thing. enjoy. there's three pages of videos to go through so far.

here is an out-of-towner's retard map.

strange.

please wear red PLEASE!

dear raymi

our vice president can shoot your vice president or vice chancellor, or vice dictator or whatever you non hunting right wing (recently) commies call your vice whatever(wtf.) now that you are obviously fearfull and under the control of our great nation of gun toting, democratic liberators i would hope that you would add my band as one of your your myspace friends, out of fear of being labeled a terrorist by our rightous, christian, dude shooting, orange vest wearing u.s.of a.
one time i wrote to you and you said my band would break up, and you were right, we did, so i wrote a song about you, check it out on our profile, your voice is deeper than i thought it would be, i love canada so much i proposed to my wife there, fernie, please keep doin what your doin over there on your blog thingy, you
really have a gift (gaybert Le gay baller) ya i find myself drinkin and typin again.

mike

THE SEX CELLS

p.s. check out YOUTH GROUP i think you might like them!

i have to be ready by three o'clock so this means i have to have a bath and be ready and finish sewing my retarded felt/corduroy creation for carla even though i can't feel my fingers and my left thumb is oozing stuff out of it and if i prick myself with a needle i will bleed way more and i think that she will just give it to the dogs to destroy maybe not i will tell her to sell it on ebay.

i keep thinking the pierce thing is a zit or scab so i try to pick it a lot.

today i went outside, fil made me. he said that if i don't go out and write at least one scene for the script then he is coming home late and i said YOU THINK NOT COMING HOME IS A PUNISHMENT!?!? so i met up with pierre in the market and watched him do laundry. on my way there i bumped into my cousin which was funny cos we're kind of similar, loner types, arty strange whatever and he was alone taking fotos of stuff i was like hey and he was like hey and i told him about the blogger party and tried to get him to skip class but he wouldn't.



on my way to meet pierre i was walking by the university and thought to myself fuck, i am scared of people like, i can't look at them during the day or speak to them, anyway it felt good to be outdoors.

i felt weird being near a learning institution it's too boring to explain.

i live in this alternate universe where i don't really believe that other people have jobs and do real things so i never remember what their job is and like even hearing about work makes me feel tired.

we went to american apparel to get the new vice and pierre was convinced that the girl who i asked about the magazine was making fun of me and so i went on a good ten minute tirade about having worked for them in NYC and how she is some strangely half good looking chick working for american apparel and called vice "stupid" like hello if it wasn't for that stupid magazine you wouldn't have a fucking job cos no one would give a shit about cotton tank tops and slouchy socks and whatever what nerve! anyway i wasn't even convinced she was dissing me in my mind she thought i was extremely cool and she was flirting with me.



then we went to soundscapes holy hipster day anyway i never go in there and enjoy myself cos of the snooty music nerds who ignore you and they do a pretty good job at making you feel bad for buying music there someone should really say something to management anyway i bought the new cardigans cd and was sitting on a ladder listening to it when pierre rolled in from the bank and i said can you tell that i am putting out the coolness vibe cos i am! anyway i think that i screamed it cos i had headphones on.

then we ate at sneaky dee's and had some beer and talked about a bunch of stuff.

oh yeah i also said YEAH WELL SHE IS JEALOUS THAT I HAVE A BLACK FRIEND AND SHE DOESN'T about that american apparel girl.

raymi says:

to become as successful and massively important as i am you have to 1. get people to be obsessed with you as much as you are obsessed with yourself 2. be extremely defensive and arrogant 3. be funny and manipulative and original

raymi says:

there's more but i can't think of the word right now.

raymi says:

oh you have to come across as smart

jess - DEFO! says:

yes.,.... it's like blogging isn't about writing but is a cult of personalities

raymi says:

exactly make people think fuck i want to be like that or i want to be friends with them

raymi says:

being attractive also helps but isn't necessary

jess - DEFO! says:

so it's like a star system, like people wanna be brad pitt, but it works even better with blogs cos bloggers are random people

raymi says:

yeah, bloggers don't get enough credit

raymi says:

but also it's like fuck bloggers you are just some dweeb in your den on a computer FUCK OFF

raymi says:

so you are allowed to take yourself seriously only sometimes

jess - DEFO! says:

yeah but like, and im sure youll admit to it, sometimes u wanna be like FUCK MY READERS but you come back to them... okay like do u think you owe anything to your readers or is blogging just for you or something u'd do even with no readers?

raymi says:

i do it for me then my friends then my people, if i think of something funny i go FUCK THIS IS FUNNY I HAVE TO WRITE THAT DOWN

jess - DEFO! says:

but like why do you think you NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN?

raymi says:

but yeh sometimes i am like fuck everyone, it's my compulsion so it's my thing and people just happen to be reading it so what

raymi says:

oh cos i am confident enough in it to know that it is humorous so other people should be aware of some dumb thing that happened at the supermarket. this world is full of crap and sadness so a few fluffy posts here and there, why not eh?

for valentine's day for fil i put on a pair of high heels, walked into the kitchen and said here look happy valentine's day this is your present. then i knocked over a glass of red wine and it smashed all over the floor and i watched him clean it up while i lay there on the couch chastising him for not making me feel less guilty about it. his jumbolaya was totally fucking insane and hot and i got some spice into my thumb wound and lost my mind over how painful it was. we watched a program about penises and breasts too.



i'm going to see if i am able to sew now cos it is the middle ages and this is how i pay for food, making deformed felt creations and yeah.

Three Days! Three Acres! Three THOUSAND Men! says:

okay, that must be it

raymi says:

what i forgot what i said

raymi says:

cos i closed the box

raymi says:

oh wait i remember

raymi says:

you are jealous cos i am famous

raymi says:

what does your chat name mean

raymi says:

i fucking hate when u change it all the time

raymi says:

are you a 13 year old girl on the internet after school?

Three Days! Three Acres! Three THOUSAND Men! says:

yes

raymi says:

are we best friends

Three Days! Three Acres! Three THOUSAND Men! says:

us?

raymi says:

yes

Three Days! Three Acres! Three THOUSAND Men! says:

yeah dude, we are tight

raymi says:

shut up

fil is making me a surprise valentine's day dinner right now. i am not allowed to go into the kitchen. i think i'm gonna bail on that casting call cos i am 1. too nauseous 2. hungover 3. part of my thumb is missing and 4. i am lazy.

i am angry that fil did not get me some sort of plush thing why are guys morons in general hello get your girlfriend something cute to cuddle not flowers because flowers are gay and they die.

i am hating on everything today pretty much.



the t-shirt i made for valentine's day got delivered to fil's mom's and i forgot it there sunday nite because i am an alcoholic.

hi i am hungover and i cut off my thumb can i have a job please oh and do you pay cash?

HAHAHAhHAHAHAHAHAa

i think i am losing my mind.

it was hard to wash my hair in the shower cos 1. i can't feel my hands 2. i could only use one hand cos i cut my thumb and then i put too much hair sheen goo on afterward so now my hair is incredibly greasy-feeling but good thing i don't have to feel it myself cos i can't FEEL! BURN!

happy valentine's day i cut off my thumb!

ME AND SAMIR HAVE A CONFERENCE CALL LISTEN!

VALENTIN'S DAY ODE
by raymi

i am the smartest i am the prettiest

i am way cooler than meridius

my blog is amazing and it is great

i will smash you with my plate

your blog sucks i never read it

your dumb grandma wears pants that are pleated

your house smells like hot garbage

you could braid mountains from your arm hairs

yesterday i snooped through your stuff

and i left some dynamite in your mom's muff

when you talk i want to explode

you are uglier than a toad

i don't want to write the rest of this song

you are too ugly i can't go on

raymi says:

more quotes in my handwritten journal and censorship and like sucky teenager emo shit

jess - DEFO! says:

thats weird that you'd censor more a private diary+

raymi says:

i censored it cos i was younger and i took off one weekend and my parents called the police and filed a missing persons report and the cops came to my house and read my journals which were all about drugs and fucking and yeah, learned my lesson

ok back to how smart canada is, kids guess what!? i just cut off part of my left thumb! think about it!

happy valentine's day everyone i can't WAIT to read blogs today about how valentine's day was invented by hallmark like WOW i have NEVER ever heard THAT before!

i just wrote this song on the spot.

YOU ARE UGLY BY RAYMI

you are ugly you are ugly

yes you are yes you are

you are ugly and so is your car

your hair is bad and so is your face

i want to smash you with my bass

guitars are awesome and neat

i will destroy you with my feet

that dog is more better looking than you

i would rather eat some pooh

than be your friend or hang together

i would rather vomit up feathers

you are ugly and you're fat

your ass is huge and your chest is flat

you are ugly and you smell like death

when you open your mouth people faint from your breath

your fashion is weak and so is your intelligence

i would rather have sex with elephants

your face looks like vomitted dirt

i think i will set fire to your shirt

you are ugly yes you are

you are even more ugly from a-far

by raymi

raymi says:

dude why do you need a gun!?

raymi says:

your country is retarded

bunny mcintosh says:

I don't need a gun i want them.

bunny mcintosh says:

I collect guns

bunny mcintosh says:

just for target shooting

raymi says:

yeah but like the idea of them is wrong

raymi says:

get a bow and arrow

bunny mcintosh says:

what does that even mean?

raymi says:

it means your country is fucked and so is your president

bunny mcintosh says:

our president is fucked

bunny mcintosh says:

that's true

raymi says:

your gunlaws

bunny mcintosh says:

our gun laws are fucked

raymi says:

and little kids blow their heads off cos of guns in the household



bunny mcintosh says:

that's bullshit

raymi says:

no it isnt

bunny mcintosh says:

more people die in car accidents

raymi says:

im talking little kids

raymi says:

more people die from guns than car accidents

raymi says:

gangs

bunny mcintosh says:

I think you're confused.

bunny mcintosh says:

Little kids drown in pools too.

bunny mcintosh says:

gangs are assholes

raymi says:

it's not a competition

raymi says:

and im not confused

bunny mcintosh says:

SETTLE DOWN

bunny mcintosh says:

I like guns. I don't have kids.

raymi says:

DONT TELL ME TO SETTLE DOWN IN CAPS LOCK

bunny mcintosh says:

OK FINE

raymi says:

guns are stupid that is that

bunny mcintosh says:

you are emotional and retarded and that is that

bunny mcintosh says:

I like them.

bunny mcintosh says:

I've never killed anything.

raymi says:

why are you turning this into me being emotional and retarded

bunny mcintosh says:

I'm just fucking with you



raymi says:

people who support the gun industry are emotional and retarded

bunny mcintosh says:

I think our countries just have different gun standards.

raymi says:

yeh my country isnt emotional and retarded

bunny mcintosh says:

most of my friends don't like guns either

raymi says:

and like people in my country get guns from your country to kill people here

bunny mcintosh says:

well then they're assholes

raymi says:

right

bunny mcintosh says:

but if you all had guns

bunny mcintosh says:

there would probably be less people willing to break into houses

raymi says:

yeah the point is we don't cos of the gunlaws which is good

bunny mcintosh says:

because you don't care if the government tells you what you can and can not do.

raymi says:

people dont really do that here

bunny mcintosh says:

that's good.

bunny mcintosh says:

hunting is huge in canada

bunny mcintosh says:

don't hunters have guns?

bunny mcintosh says:

or do they bludgeon them to death with their mighty canadian fists?

raymi says:

there is too much fear in your country, unnecessarily

bunny mcintosh says:

I agree

bunny mcintosh says:

I don't have guns cause I'm afraid though

raymi says:

like has your house been broken into yet?

bunny mcintosh says:

no no

raymi says:

see

bunny mcintosh says:

and we live on a bad street

raymi says:

pointless

bunny mcintosh says:

having a gun is pointless if you don't want to kill some body?

raymi says:

yes hunters here have guns but hunting is fucking terrible and im totally fucking against it so lets not discuss that

bunny mcintosh says:

I love shooting it.

bunny mcintosh says:

do you eat meat?

raymi says:

if u have a gun in your house and you accidentally blow off your foot then you deserve it, not you specifically, in general

raymi says:

yes i eat meat but i dont believe in hunting for sport

bunny mcintosh says:

I'm not going to blow off my foot because I'm not an idiot and I know that a gun is a machine and how to handle it.



raymi says:

and i dont eat deer

raymi says:

i said in general

bunny mcintosh says:

right

bunny mcintosh says:

well that should be up to the person.

raymi says:

i think deer should be allowed to go up to people's property and into people's homes and stomp on sleeping people just to be fair

bunny mcintosh says:

if they don't want a gun I don't think they should have to have one.

bunny mcintosh says:

deer are cute

bunny mcintosh says:

I don't have a gun because I'm afraid

raymi says:

and if someone shot someone i loved i would just stab them like a normal person or use ninja stars, those are respectable weapons

bunny mcintosh says:

whats the differece if they're still going to die?

raymi says:

a gun? pfft, that's for pussies

raymi says:

they deserve to die cos they SHOT SOMEONE I LOVED

bunny mcintosh says:

I have ninja stars

raymi says:

are they hard to throw?

bunny mcintosh says:

I couldn't kill anyone with them though

bunny mcintosh says:

yeah

bunny mcintosh says:

I've only thrown them into trees

raymi says:

you could buy a shag carpet and hide them in it for people to step on

bunny mcintosh says:

welcome to my dangerous abode

bunny mcintosh says:

mind the razors

raymi says:

like for april fools day and then when they are bleeding you jump out and go APRIL FOOLS

bunny mcintosh says:

all my weapons are out of sight

raymi says:

well you could at least get that hello kitty gun

bunny mcintosh says:

mmm

bunny mcintosh says:

it's probably shittily put together

raymi says:

http://blog.lib.umn.edu/deg/campfire/images/HelloKitty.jpg

bunny mcintosh says:

oh shit that's a 1911

bunny mcintosh says:

that's probably a nice gun

raymi says:

http://www.dentrinity.com/ClarenceLai/Kitty.htm

raymi says:

see if i got shot by one of those i would be all HEY WHAT THE...awwwwwwwww

bunny mcintosh says:

those are hiedous

bunny mcintosh says:

the first one is cute

bunny mcintosh says:

if I brandish my gun with adorable things will you like it better

raymi says:

how much did that gun cost that yer dude got you?

bunny mcintosh says:

I don't know

raymi says:

are your bullets made of flowers

bunny mcintosh says:

no they're made of bullets

bunny mcintosh says:

if you come to georgia I will take you shooting with me

raymi says:

i will like how it looks but still i think it was a total waste of money



bunny mcintosh says:

and you have to follow all the rules and be good and then you'll see

bunny mcintosh says:

it isn't

bunny mcintosh says:

I've taken it out twice already

bunny mcintosh says:

and had a blast

raymi says:

and it's silly and makes you look bad, sorry

bunny mcintosh says:

literally

bunny mcintosh says:

hey ohhh

raymi says:

just my opinion

bunny mcintosh says:

i don't give a fuck how things make me look

bunny mcintosh says:

to other people

bunny mcintosh says:

none of my friends are down with gun ownership either

raymi says:

its only my opinion and im not sure if i have fully developed it yet

bunny mcintosh says:

I don't know. I used to be anti



bunny mcintosh says:

ah

bunny mcintosh says:

have you ever?

raymi says:

no

bunny mcintosh says:

oh

raymi says:

guns are scary

bunny mcintosh says:

then why are you against it?

raymi says:

well a water gun

bunny mcintosh says:

they're just machines. they don't operate on their own

raymi says:

cos of psychos who lose their mind and go gun crazy white trash people in that bowling for columbine movie

bunny mcintosh says:

right

bunny mcintosh says:

I don't think they should have guns

bunny mcintosh says:

but if that school cop had been armed

raymi says:

well yes but they are fully allowed to by law to get one cos of your stupid country rules so thats not an option

bunny mcintosh says:

they probably wouldn't have been able to shoot a bunch of little kids

bunny mcintosh says:

no

bunny mcintosh says:

if you've been mentally incapacitated by the state you can't own a gun if you have been DEEMED

bunny mcintosh says:

if you're under 18 you can't buy a gun

raymi says:

yeh but before then they can get one and go to a pawn shop easy

bunny mcintosh says:

not at a pawn shop

raymi says:

how old were those colombine kids?

bunny mcintosh says:

I've bought guns at pawn shops, they have the same checks as everyone else

bunny mcintosh says:

17

raymi says:

they had crap mailed to their fuckin homes come on



bunny mcintosh says:

they got shot guns from a woman illegally

bunny mcintosh says:

they had tubes and crap mailed to their houses to make stuff with, stuff you could make in canada

bunny mcintosh says:

america isn't that scary

bunny mcintosh says:

columbine was in 1999 and public schools are bad news anyway

raymi says:

whats the point of 1999? who cares when it happened

bunny mcintosh says:

Its not like it happens every day

bunny mcintosh says:

and I'm not going to shoot up a school with my guns

raymi says:

ok but if u wanted to u could

bunny mcintosh says:

in fact if someone wants my wallet or shit they can have it

bunny mcintosh says:

i could but I risk getting shot by a reasonable person who also has a gun

raymi says:

do u believe in hunting

bunny mcintosh says:

do I believe in it?

raymi says:

well are u ok with it

bunny mcintosh says:

I think it's messier than going to the grocery store.

bunny mcintosh says:

I don't hunt.

bunny mcintosh says:

I'm ok with it if people need to hunt to eat

bunny mcintosh says:

or if people just prefer to kill their own food because they don't want to buy meat for whatever reason

bunny mcintosh says:

but I don't it.

bunny mcintosh says:

I don't like it.

bunny mcintosh says:

I mean

raymi says:

ok

bunny mcintosh says:

I wouldn't do it

bunny mcintosh says:

it's pretty barbaric

what's up dude?

not much raymi i be chillin' in the park on a sunday afternoon with my molson canadian one footer.

sweet, i like how you walked all zig-zaggy towards the park while those little kids were playing there and their dad was all LET'S LEAVE NOW!

yeah, that was pretty badass of me.

see you around frank.

ttyl raymi.

i bought these crazy erasers from chapters by this company called iwako they are so cute i want to shoot myself in the face! i can't wait to take hundreds of fotos of blythe with her baked goods erasers. fil says if he finds just ONE of my stupid fucking erasers lying around he is going to throw it in the garbage.

phil: what in the hell do you need THOSE for?

raymi: for erasing, duh!

To : parkdaleraymi@hotmail.com
Subject : Raymi is back and SHES PISSED

long story short me and my boyfriend steve were watching movie trailers when we saw a preview for this and we both turned to each other and screamed ITS RAYMI! and every one shhhed us and then we realized it wasn't you but some lame actress trying to be cool like you.
NO ONE ROCKS THE PARTY LIKE RAYMI ROCKS THE PARTY!

that is all,
kat

everyone who isn't me SUCKS!

my body went numb yesterday like tingly numb and it is numb again today. is it cos of my drinking? WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS MY BODY GOING NUMB? i want a fucking MRI. i had the scan i met with the neurologist and they saw nothing. it's been a year and it keeps happening off and on. i don't think anyone in my family has MS but would i still be likely to get it? i'm not being dramatic here though it seems that way. i've tried to downplay this shit as best i could. it totally freaks my dad out. anyway one good thing of it is i can walk into tables and totally bash my shins and i don't feel ANYTHING! fil will try to wrestle me into a pretzel position and i can wiggle free easily cos i can't feel where my body ends and his begins and yeah, it's retarded lethargic strength.

fil dragged me across the floor by my ankles until my shoes socks and pants came right off and my socks were inside my shoes (mocassins) and my shoes were still tucked into my pants.

we watched like ten hours of that true hollywood story about jessica and ashlee simpson. ashlee simpson and cid have the same nose. that's all that i took away from that feature.

the best line from mad tv was hey i'm ambercrombie black, i call it BLACKERCROMBIE!

killa raymi