i also took my zoloft too late so i am feeling lucid and uh, i need a better way to describe this missing-meds feeling, insanely irritable but lacking the energy to react or do anything about it, zombielike apathy and funtime self-destructive girl wheeee.

we walked over 7 km today and then we had a big nap instead of going to see a movie and i finished reading the pharmacist's mate. now we are going to meet sharpie and others for MENTAL RETARDATION SATURDAYS.

i am going to drink gin and cucumbers and tonic until i am speaking spanglish.

oh yeah later we saw a girl with a black-eye who was wasted at the pub and she was bragging about being thrown out of the 'firkin and how she and her friend were gonna go be lesbos and call idrinx and didn't trust the atm machine which she kept referring to as debit. i love toronto sigh.

my mind was going manic lying in bed before deciding whether or not i was gonna get up or pretend like i could actually go back to sleep again. i was thinking of all these one-liners and shit and i couldn't stop them they just come to me like how psychic people are all, "i am psychic" or how christians are just fucking insane, anyway.

i have a big hate-on for everything and everyone right now i ran out of crazy pills so that's the theme of the day today GET CRAZY PILLS and elizabeth and her dog are coming along with me and fil and i told her not to dress jewish and by that i don't know what i meant. she said she would leave her yammakuhs at home and i said why can't religions have cool shit to wear like hi-tops?

she isn't even jewish though she may as well be. and here she is on mushrooms as a skinny jew retard.



she also told me to mention that this photo was taken approximately 6 months before cowboy boots were cool again.

me, brother, cousin (lying down) - in montreal saying bye to great grandfather albert kerouac

ooook so last nite i met stan's fiancee who I DO NOT LIKE. we were discussing the stag party rather fil and i were and i said sooo i am invited to this right and she cuts in ARE YOU GOING TO BE THE STRIPPER? all catty-like right. so i go out for a smoke so as to not explodify i even considered just fucking leaving before the second and third courses and walk over to my dad's.

then later on she is bragging about her brother who writes on messageboards and so then i feel like ok she has redeemed herself cos i like talking about the internet and i say oh well does he have a blog and she goes i think so maybe but you wouldn't want to get to know my brother he would cut you up and make you feel bad he doesn't like people who try too hard and i'm thinking right a nerd who writes on a messageboard is going to make me feel bad.

anyway i thought i liked nerds and she helped remind me that i do not.

i asked stan why does your woman fuckin' hate me and he said she was trying to out-hip my hipster and i said well i'm not a fucking hipster and i'm not mad i'm not "trying hard" to be mad it just comes naturally.

i'm going to google her brother now cos i remember the board he writes on lets go see exactly how fucking non-trying he is.

also way to make a great first impression lady. i officially do not want to come to your fucking wedding and i am so glad that i spent four hours eating dinner with you while you insulted me and scoffed at everything i said meanwhile i could have been hanging with my dad who is sad right now and wouldn't ask if i was going to be a stripper.

fuck i am still so utterly fuckerly fucking mad about this!

jd fortune photo

Date: Mar 24, 2006 6:51 PM

Hey, I'm a gallery mod for a site totally dedicated to JD Fortune and I saw your photo. With your permission, I'd love to add it into our gallery. This is our site if you want to check it out first:

fortune448.com

Let me know!

Kara

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA






also look who is second.

ok so i've heard of shrinkage buuuut....

caption this.



the GAY PARTY TAPE

I AM A RAP STAR by raymi

fuck i'm pretty
i live in the city
my life ain't shitty
i dump on ya'lls titty
my blog gets them hitty
mad props hits the clitty
drinkin' bottles of fiddy
mackin' bitches left right and citty

'dem writin' songs 'bout me
what the shit they sayin' 'bout you
nothin' bitches nothin'
what they sayin' mad true
this bitch be dope hittin' slopes jumpin rope
what you husslin' like me nope

stick wit it long 'nuff you's get closer to them muff eatin' gruff shit be rough not so much when the going's tough touch the stuff hard enough when they hate give them dust

fuck me? fuck you your ass is tired you're dirty foo
your life ain't true you want 'spect it ain't hap'nin soon's
you start them scribes you need to, little bit die
then you see we be comin' from seen?

now imagine me poetry slammin' that!

BEST SONG EVER - the pharmacist's mate, amy fusselman

I LOVE MY MOM
I LOVE MY MOM
SHE'S NO SEX BOMB
BUT SHE'S MY MOM
SHE SENDS ME FOOD
WHEN I AM GONE
SHE'S OLD, SHE'S COOL, MY MOM RULES

I LOVE MY DAD
I LOVE MY DAD
I AM SO GLAD
THAT'S HE'S MY DAD
HE SENDS ME MONEY
EVEN THOUGH I'M BAD
HE'S OLD, HE'S COOL, MY DAD RULES

i just said Whatever and it blew my mind at how cool i am like i don't care about stuff!!!!!!!!!!! i said it cos elizabeth said dude i am mad at vice for having anorexic models.

she said she was at the library but really she is here snapping her gum loudly and i am going to snap-attack if she does it one more time.

we decided that we are going to be anoreixc together. ANOREXIA-PACT! but it won't happen because we are fat and drink a lot and eat a lot.

i put in my new piercing and it is tacky and cool at the same time so if i wear the right outfit i can pull it off like if i become insanely goth OR i dress very very feminine and wear nice billowy hippie dresses and have flowers in my hair and people will sigh and think about sunshine in a big meadow and then i turn my head and they are like whuuuuuuuut!? SHE IS SUPER DUPER COOL I AM GOING TO EXPLODE AT HER COOLNESS IT IS SHOCKING.

i like making up scenarios in my head that will never fucking happen and then i quote my scenarios to people in real-time and when they are like you are stupid i am like WHATEVER.

see, full circle of coolness.

SEEN!



jt punk'd spoof

ps. canada has mtv now!? i am waiting to see bunny. thanks a lot now i will get zero things accomplished.

so i went to my neurologist appointment yesterday and told him that i like drinking and i like being drunk cos he wondered if i really did have a drinking problem and my mom kept talking over me when i was talking and i swore a lot. he said that he had a friend that he lived with a bipolar person and it was scary and bla bleh bleargh i was pretty much playing the role of the annoying stubborn teenager and saying i get bored during therapy and i start lying and the guy repeats metaphors to me and i let him think he hasn't already told me.

anyway.

then we went to see my grandma and we sang you are my sunshine together well first my dad and her did and it was an explosion of sadness and my mom and i cried immediately and then i sang this song that goes a you're adorable b you're so beautiful c you're my lucky charm d you're delightful e you're exciteful f you're a feather in my arm and i was choking on my words the entire time and she was smiling at me fuck that was hard. she's not aware of what's happening pretty much so if we are all crying around her it might wig her out i dunno.

there's nothing that kills me more than seeing/hearing my dad cry it's gut-wrenching.

anyway my dad and i met up with fil and martin at the pub afterward and my dad and i had a nice chat and it was good. we decided that when the dust settles we're gonna piss off to england for awhile, my dad's never been, it's something he needs to do and i can play bossy i know everything about england person and control everything.

i told him now is the time to be selfish with your feelings and just fuckin' cry and a bunch of other emo shit and it was nice.

i got a new mouth piercing it is u-shaped so i am going to see what it looks like and if it is gay i will take off the ball and put it in the labrette i already have.

i'm sorry i can't finalize any set birthday plans yet i know how you are all dying to get me 200 dollar presents and stuff.

BUT whoever gets me THE BEST PRESENT i will give you a FREE COPY of MARKETABLE DEPRESSION and i will SIGN IT RIGHT BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES and maybe i will even READ SOME OF IT TO YOU!

AMAZING.

the cat opener is a stupid little bitch and will not open in one succession, the wheels keep turning but they don't go anywhere it makes feeding cid ten times more fucking annoying and the whole time he is mwer myerw meow mew MEW MAOW and digging on my pants until they fall down and so i am standing there in the kitchen facing the counter with this bullshit can opener and my pants down around my ankles and the cat harassing me mentally phsyically emotionally and then he does his impression of a paraplegic (pictured) and i am like cid that is MEAN.

Education for DEATH - the making of a NAZI video by DISNEY!

this picture breaks my mother fucking heart.

today is going to be a long day and it's at the borderline cut-off point as to whether or not i will be showered and clean for it so i have to decide now. i didn't shower yesterday so maybe i should today. this is all very important information i know, that's why i am sharing it with you.



noel got me some teeth off ebay cos he wanted to have more teeth in his mouth he said. they're not real though. in exchange i gave him one of my japanese baked goods erasers and he thought when he first saw it that it was a bone segment, the loaf of bread.



i can't wait 'til my hair is long again.

we went to play megatouch and drink beers last nite cos i was going crazy shut-in styles and fil was being moody so we went to our locale and one guy who works there said my beastie boys performance was "seriously off the hook" and i was glad cos i remember trying to be as obnoxious and embarassing as possible to somewhat bar myself from going back there - turns out people are all about that behaviour. nice!

THIS IS PRETTY MUCH WHAT MY REAL LIFE IS LIKE.

raymi says:

i would vote for him

Napa Valley Speedball says:

cause you are as batshit as he is, you just have a home and clothes

Napa Valley Speedball says:

hahahahahahahahaah

raymi says:

uh

raymi says:

why are black people fucking insane

raymi says:

i figure you might know the answer to that

Napa Valley Speedball says:

why do white people smell like hamburger?

Napa Valley Speedball says:

i figure you might know the answer to that

raymi says:

why do africans have machetes why cant they use flowers?

Napa Valley Speedball says:

why do white people walk like this "dee dee doo doo dink din"?

raymi says:

AHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

raymi says:

why do black people throw spears?

raymi says:

is this conversation too racist to put on my blog

Napa Valley Speedball says:

no

raymi says:

ok

jesus dressup

tony pierce back in hollywood says:

sorry i can't go to your party

raymi says:

i might not be having one

tony pierce back in hollywood says:

you have an ad on your blog saying you will

raymi says:

read it again

raymi says:

and then read underneath it jees

raymi says:

look at the date

raymi says:

yes i am going back in time to the year 2003 to have my 20th bday party

that's the flier i made for what was going to be my 20th bday party. it's funny cos i actually DID have a nervous breakdown. no wait, that wasn't funny, that SUCKED.

think like anne heche crazy on someone's property babbling about UFOs.

it feels like a thursday but it is wednesday. the underwear i am wearing makes my ass itch and i avoid wearing it cos of this but it looks pretty when i wear it so i don't know what to do.

to raymi from phil:

that's funny

except the part about christian slater being your boyfriend - it made me jealous when you said 'go for it dude'

does this mean that good looking guys can get away with a quick grab and feel?

i think you mean 'respective' jail cells



to phil from raymi:

respective got it

i was being funny

and after i said we are not going to be boyfriends and girlfriends

what are we going to do tonite

i'm sorry my imaginary conversation with christian slater made you jealous

good looking people are allowed to do anything they want remember that woman who had sex with that 13 year old and they said she is too pretty to go to jail

i was just thinking about how one day i will probably be charged with sexual harassment by one of my lady friends cos i'm all hey are those real or is your bra stuffed and instead of waiting for a reply i find out the answer with my hands a la christian slater.

maybe he should be my next boyfriend? i bet he would go for me cos he'd be all grabbing at me and i'd be like GO FOR IT DUDE. well maybe we could just be friends and talk about having zero boundaries while we are sharing some peppered beef jerky in our respective jail cells.



poor dudes, women get away with everything. when a woman is fondled by a woman they are all giggly and flattered and coo at you but then when a guy does it and say he is not very good looking it's like terrifying and the women fills up with so much fucking rage that she puts her purse strap around his neck and pulls it tight like a noose and strangles him on the spot.

girl, giggle.

guy, DESTROY.

i was planning to visit my grandma today but my dad said she is doing alright so i should go tomorrow instead. i'm kinda miffed that she isn't in the hospital in the town she has lived in for the last 46 years, there weren't enough beds.

today i feel like eating a lot of cheese and more hot salami and writing my depressing modern-day style, choose-your-own-adventure story i hope i at least add a little more to it.

willheim is going to buy my painting that makes me happy and inspires me to make some more art.



i wonder what we will do tonite.

i want and not want to plan my birthday party, i have a feeling it will coincide with funeral-happenings or something who knows. be prepared for a possible last-minute gathering or a postponed event. thanks all for your condolences and such i'd give you my address for sympathy cards but i don't want to take the attention away from my dad right now i dunno how he'd react to a million I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR GRANDMA RAYMI cards you know, when it's his mom et al.

anyway.

i haven't gotten a new stud yet.

hi hello we went to a leaf game last nite and we won again because i was there and i yell obscenities like CAROLINA HAS A SLOPPY VAGINA and everyone cheers for me even the carolina fans because face it I RULE.



anyway go to this ARTCADE thing cos nerds are making video game art even noel! brilliant!

you can look at more if you want




subway prophet

secret wall tattoos

f'n brilliant.

i'm selling this bitch. i did it in early 2003 just as i was turning crazy for reals. i was pretty baked when i did it at noel's old apartment so i was very manic and it only took me ten minutes to do obviously. there is a nice message on the back that doesn't make any sense and i kissed the canvas and added sparkle glitter to it and pink gooey paint-something. it is 3 feet by 1 feet i think and it costs 200 canadian or maybe we can work something out. PEACE.