oh and by the way toronto it is 100000% NOT RAINING today everyone send pitt hate mail thank you be sure to make meteorologist digs.

PS HERE ARE oops caps some photos from last nite's pre-gong show mixer

raymi dood i was completely joking because i know you hate that shit. and i am a feminist but not that kind of feminist, ie mean and full of hate and dillusional. it is fun to play with people's serious bullshit and show error through satire. one feminist does not speak for all feminists like how one gay person doesn't represent all gays.

basically though i was just trying to be funny because you so obviously hate feminists and people who use their educations to bully others into thinking they are brilliant and understand the world better than everyone else. i mean come on, it's DODGEBALL. dodgeball as a representation of patriarchy is hilarious! to me anyway.

see you tonight
amber


i guess u are too funny which means well played
right over my head
but yeah this one girl named **** from ****** camp he said she was a feminist
but really shes just an airhead slut
and i also heard her shittalking some girl behind her back in a major way and i was like funny i didnt know feminists shittalked women and flipped their stupid oakville hair at the same time and wore sideways trucker hats

**raymi fun fact - that picture was before i had my front left tooth filed down.

hey lauren,

i see that you've cancelled dodgeball and can i just say i am glad because that is a very unfeminist thing to be doing. sure, dodging 'balls' to keep from being 'out' (see: othering) is something every woman can relate to but the fact that the winner is whoever 'hits' the most players on the other team totally reinforces the abusive patriarchal oppressive system we should be trying to overcome.

plus i'm busy during the day.

since dodgeball IS cancelled you've moved karaoke up to 9:30 and i'm going to a concert first at 9. like i tolds ya before i lost your number. i'd love to stop by after the show but i wanna make sure you guys are still gonna be there. wanna give it to me again?

amber
aka your sister in strength
aka ahahfhajfhahahah

***-***-****


***-***-****

please tell me you were being a pretend feminist
i hate feminists
if u are one
dont come

-raymi

also it'll be going strong til last call so show up whenever but i would come early if you want to get in the karaoke rotation right? right.


old school dojo

i woke up with weed hair. do you know what weed hair is?

it's when you go to sleep stoned and/or drunk so i guess there is also drunk hair anyway weed hair is more fucked than drunk hair because when you are falling asleep high you have no capacity whatsoever of resting your head in a position that doesn't make your hair stick to your forehead and get tangly and then you try to make it nice and flat, fanning out across the pillow but then you are like oh yeah i'm baked and have to fidget 10000 times more and then you pass out and wake up with weed hair.

i'm glad i don't smoke weed too often anymore. anyway i'm not washing my hair today cos i want to maintain its shittyness.

love raymi

ok everyone nevermind we are cancelling dodgeball not enough people have said they will for sure be there and we don't feel we should bother bringing all this shit to the park and then on top of that the weather will likely be crap so we are going to a ball game if you want to join in we'll be around third base go get a cheap ticket and heckle with us

karaoke is still on tho

tony and i ran into the most irritating dude last nite. he shows up just after midnite to the torontoist party to take pictures of the bands and the bar is closed and the bands are packing up he says to us HEY ARE ANY OF YOU IN ANY OF THE BANDS i'm like YES so he goes on about how he thought he had time to make it out bla bla makes a point to mention that he is an ARTIST a few times i'm thinking if YOU are an artist then I am a doctor. anyway he takes pictures of us and some other people and then i asked if he had weed and he did and one was rolled ready to go so i use the can dude's gone me and tony go out to figure out what next and there is THE ARTIST doing something to a/his bike and he walks up to us and i'm like yeah so about that joint? and he totally forgot all about it also his cellphone is RINGING a lot so we are walking to green room for a drink and smoking on the way there and the guy is acting like he just saved our lives for giving us a few hits and says do you mind getting me a drink then and i said yes just so we could hang longer so i could have more dirt on him.

we sit he gets a beer with a glass he tells the waitress cos artists are classy people too anyway phone rings three more times by this point we are certain that he's a dealer and the guy is saying in his fone yeah ill be there in ten minutes yeah ill be there in five minutes and he chugs the beer leaving a lot of it sayin that if we get thirsty we can have it hey thanks pal can i really drink the beer i just paid for?

anyway he mentioned two more times he was AN ARTIST and i said what is your art exactly and he says I WORK WITH LIGHT and he enunciated LIGHT for me like i am a huge retard and don't know what it is. i took his picture of course because I am an ARTIST too and I work with LIGHT also it's called a FLASH on my CAMERA you loser.



i said to tony that i was glad that i didn't get all drunk generous or anything and tony pointed out that i gave him my torontoist pin AND later when i wanted a smoke before getting in a cab i noticed that THE ARTIST took my fucking lighter.

fucking artists.

oh and while smoking on the street before getting in a cab guess who should stroll up but my homeless crackhead friend who punched me after i kicked him after he called me a lying cunt after i said sorry for not having money to give him SWOOOON.

lindsay lohan punk'd


lindsay lohan doing stuff


lindsay lohan parent trap screen test

Hi Raymi,

This is fanmail. Seriously, I am in love with you. I have been in love with you for like a year. It's like, I'll be at work, or late late home from the bar, and I think, hmmm, wonder what raymi is doing, maybe I will go check and see. And, darling, you never disappoint.

I was first referred to your blog through a friend who is a Toronto writer - and also a big fan. I used to live in Toronto but now I live in Amsterdam so it's wicked awesome getting all the Canadiana from your blog.

Bye dear,

Laura

oh and did anyone notice that yesterday i was on a WELP roll? fil pointed it out asking what is welp and i said it is well but more casual like hey we're just a coupla regular guys wearing sweaters on my wraps-around-the-house porch and yeah like that anyway fil is like 6 years on your blog and no welp and today(yesterday)TWO WELPs.

crazy i know.

baby moving inside belly

holy aliens much?

oh here is the e-card i sent fil at work yesterday cos i am a romantic which is made evident by the music that goes along with it.

and now i bring you mastertrashed theatre


after this radular photo was taken mr. santa claus had to stop his guitar ballad to shake pitt's hand and hug and kiss him. not lying.


that's right, i'm bringing back the caption.


is yellow teeth an irish thing? that kid's hair sucks.


YES i see you sheep dog curly barf hair kid


nice pretending to be thinking pitt.


uh hi the clothing store called, they're running out of stripes?


I LOVE YOU FIL NO I LOVE YOOOOU PITT NO I LOVE YOU FIL! I LOVE YOU MORE! NO I LOVE YOU MORE!!! NOPE I LOVE YOU !!!MORE!!!11! NO I LOVE...


ok fine we love eachother EQUALLY....except i love you just a little bit more.


fil please tell me the secret behind being able to suck your nose into your face


salut pitt ou eh my baguette?


everyone look at me screw that guy like whatever you come out to the dome every home game since the beginning of baseball nevermind that EVERYONE LOOK AT ME


SERIOUSLY i have a blog do YOU have a blog? no? so shut up and another thing...


pitt looks like that guy at your party who is just really annoying and smiles a lot and people avoid him cos he is a total gasbag who goes on and on and on and ON and you have to tell your wife before the party that if she sees you talking to him she has to save you otherwise you are dumping her forever


nice pixelation relish motif what are you computer static? funny? anyone?


good thing i ruined a perfectly good picture by BEING IN IT good thing also my face turns mongoloid after a few beers and shots of red wine


my hair is pretty.


wasted


so hot

i ran out of boners of the week please name some and put up a picture too and i pretty much forgot all the ones i already did so if you want to remind me of them that would be nice so i don't double dong them aha.



also, 4 years ago today tony pierce interviewed me and that's when i was working secretly as an online "model" so you can tell at first i am aprehensive of talking about it but then i change my mind cos of tony's nothing in here is true line ok enjoy.




i didn't realise how rad that shirt looks thanks jessica


oh i updated aboutraymi in case you care.

that's what my diamond pillow looks like so far it's probably the most annoying thing i have made to date other than that humongous cigarette because i started it without thinking it through first as is all the things i ever do so i'm like ok i guess i have to add more fuscia thread all around to border it despite me spending thirty fucking minutes sewing the shape with white thread. i should have listened to my sewing coach but nooooooo. one day i am going to sew my hand to the cat that's how not thinking it through first i am.

ps. if you can think of another way to get my point across without using AS IS ALL please let me know.

pps. i'm working on getting us a celebrity to come out to dodgeball and/or karaoke AND it's not one that i've ever mentioned before.

barbie sluts

caption this shit

did you know that bon jovi made new homes for katrina peeps and they named the street bon jovi boulevard? well i did and i know this from oprah and matthew mcconaughey named his street angel lane so this means that bon jovi is all look at me i am a boulevard woooooh and matthew mcconaughey is like, a babe. ok well angel lane already existed cos of oprah but still bon jovi could have been less arrogant and called his street i dunno banana avenue? ps. bon jovi it's REFRIGERATOR not FRIGERATOR.

that is all.

depressed people tend to be pretty insecure. i just watched that ny times cat power interview and yep the last thing you realise is that people like you and have liked you all along, when you are drugging and drinking yourself invisible it's a shield from having to face whether or not you are a monster and if people think that but really they dig you and they like your art and creativity and the funny shit you say and do but then you snap and have to exile yourself for a bit and you think welp now they are going to hate me.

basically, insecurity is a burden, depression is a sickness and this combined with needing a lot of attention usually ends in disaster a few times but this is the only way for some people.

but what then when you are also grandiose?

anyway i'm done projecting, for now.

russell peters I


russell peters II


russell peters III


russell 4

we rented v for vendetta last nite. i avoided seeing it cos of that fucking mask i dunno just thought it cheesy but by the end you don't even realise the guy is wearing it it's just well him you know. anyway it's a really fucking good movie and i regret not seeing it in the theatre. THAT GOOD. it's all 1984'd out, takes place in future london, filmed in berlin where hitler did his propoganda films uh natalie portman has a pretty face and hair and a pretty mole on her face that should have its own imdb page and she has a british accent and she does that natalie portman I AM CRYING DESPERATE FOR BREATH cry where it's like I GET IT YOU ARE CRYING BOO HOO but uh the dvd has an easter egg to her doing the SNL digital short of her rapping like she is a super badass and it's totally funny cos she is a 100% do-gooder.



oh and we were sober last nite too and this is a good movie to not drink to in the sense that it consumes you entirely, it's so long that by the time it's over you are like welp time for bed before i kill someone cos i HAVE ZERO ALCOHOL IN MY BLOODSTREAM BLEEEAAARGHH!

that agent from the matrix plays the V guy and he does a good job and his house is awesome oh yeah all the bad guys die. it is very cleverly written the way the story unfolds oh and you get to see some lesbian stuff too love raymi.