what happened to all the cool people who use to read my blog now it's nothing but ugly little 15 year olds in california telling me to LOOSE WEIGHT and they furiously masturbate to fil like they're putting out fires hey guess what go outside and get boyfriends.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
i bought skinny jeans
the first pair i grabbed were $59 so i assumed they all were the same price i dunno why and then i said lise grab me a black pair and they were $88 and i didn't find out until after i paid fil don't read what you just read i know it's not your money bla bla whatever fil didn't like the shoes i got him they look kind of goofy too bad cos they were on sale. we went to magic pony and a documentary was being filmed and i walked around in the background so i can't wait til it comes out so i get to see the part i was in edited out that made sense right? today was expensive and i don't care. i bought a shirt too and some trinkets.
i just wanted to let u know that I read your book in one sitting... i love your humor and your outlook on life. Your writing style is easy for me to read...i like how your stories are all in first person like the way you did it....I have been procrastinating on the review I am waiting for the right creative moment and i want to use quotes from your book and stuff and my idea is to do a reiew on my blog..themn all my blog readers will want to go buy your book! I hope! Why wouldn't they...come on if they have any sense in them they will. My only dissapointment was that it wasn't long enough. I still love it though. I will read it again. I love your drawings cause they are just so funny they make me laugh..I can see why people would want to buy tshirts with your cartoon drawings and funy thoughts coming from the characters..you are so creative. I bet you helped a few people with your book. I have some issues Im dealing with myself and reading about your experiences kinda helps me put things into perspective in some sort of way. I really suck at explaining myself.
You sure have been through some tough shit in your life my heart goes out to you for having to experience some of those terrible things you had me in tears and then laughing and thinking of my own life too.anyway... i hope u are doing well these days and that u and phil are doing good and your meds are all working out and that you will eventually drink only 4 days of the week maybe even three! I wish i could meet you one night when we are both drunk cause then it would be easy for me to talk to you...otherwise Im pretty shy about that sorta thing. so let me know if you are ever in victoria...ill buy you a drink
ps im trying to care less about what everybody else thinks! why why why do we do this!!
there is this guy in the park every nite and sometimes in the morning and he is obsessive compulsive, he sweeps the entire park searching for drugs i guess and he does it every fucking nite and he totally shuts out the world. it's pretty interesting but mostly sad. it makes me wonder where he is when not in the park, tweaking on someone's couch? last friday he was on his hands and knees under the lamp post searching the same spot for an hour wtf. and he never looks up or around there could be gunshots and he would still druggily be searching with his hands all crouched over.
and then there's the tall skinny white guy who changes his clothes against that little building and i have seen his dick at least ten times and his flabby flat ass.
Phil: you've seen his dick?
i told u
Phil: i blocked it out
stop looking at dude's dicks
hes a homeless junky
nothing to be jealous of
angry professor cellphone distraction
lise hooked me up with the raddest boots last nite i will take a picture of them later i probably shouldn't be awake right now unnghgh i came home last nite and boozebreathed in fil's face FIL WAKE UP LOOOK AT MY BOOOOOOOTS LOOK LOOOOOK and then i kissed and hugged him and tried to cuddle with him like a lecherous perv and then fell asleep on my face cos i had the spins and my bangs are all fucked now LISE WAKE UP LETS RENT MOVIES.
i am very sexy.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
i am going to be in an internet commercial. it is being filmed in lise's kitchen tonite and i get to drink free wine for it i will tell u more later i know! i am even jealous of myself! oh yeah i will be eating cheese as well. the commercial is for a wine company i dunno if i am even allowed to be disclosing this much like hi top secret info doooodz.
last nite we watched duets and fil kept claiming how "funny" it was or was about to be and i fully disagree NOT FUNNY AT ALL. more like sad and depressing and cheesy and stressful. all nite long i kept saying CHANGE IT I CAN'T BREATHE FROM ALL OF THIS LAUGHING HELP PLEASE SERIOUSLY I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER MINUTE HELP ME FIL THE FUNNY PART IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN WHAT AM I GONNA DO!?!?! OH LOOK PAUL GIAMATTI IS HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN _HYSTERICAL_LAUGHABLE_SIDE-SPLITTING! OMG HE'S HOLDING UP A GAS STATION I AM NOW VOMITTING OUT OF MY EARS AND EYES AND MOUTH THIS IS TOO TOO TOO MUCH!!!1 OH LOOK HIS FRIEND IS SHOT DEAD STOP THE WORLD THIS IS FUNNIER THAN AIRPLANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and so on.
ONE YEAR AGO TODAY:
yesterday we went drunkboarding for old time's sake and i even knelt down and bombed down a slopey hill and didn't land on my chin but at one point i did wipe out and my left hand scraped against the ground cos my jeans were too tight and i was locked in this crouching position and this little surfer-hair looking kid watched me do it and was impressed i could tell. i like it when 8 year olds think you are the coolest. everytime we passed this one house these drunks in their garage went WOOOOOOOOH and YEEEEARRGH. it felt like being on television.
also yesterday we played asshole and i won every game and they were mad because they had just taught me how to play and i'm all like BURN and you must be very annoyed because i am winning right now etc and so on.
we're going to see metric tonite for the fiftieth time. yawn. i'm pretty bored of metric. yeh yeh new album out soon tra la, emily haines comes off as annoyingly bitchy and not even in a hot WOW SHE IS SUCH A BITCH kind of way that makes it cool, she's just a straight-up pretentious seeming BIOTCH. and all the guys are mesmerized by it. fil calls her mrs. philogynist and every other girl singer out there as well. i'mma just stand in the back and wobble around drunk. we got guest list so that's good. oh and jason collett is opening so that is good also. i have so much energy i need to go longboarding RIGHT NOW.
pictures from the metric/jason collett show last year
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
i wish i was batshit crazy i mean i wish that at the next zine art selling thing i do i can stand there screaming about the stuff on my table like the dudes selling fish in kensington market or the guy selling vegetables in st. lawrence and compete with other shy nerds selling stuff that is eons better than my dinky creations
HAYAHAHYAHAYAHA CYUM HERE PREEETY LADY BUY THIS BEAUTIFUL FELTED GUN HOLDER FOR IRONIC PURPOSES IT TOOK ME 30 HOURS TO MAKE I AM SELLING IT FOR 40 DOLLARS THO YOU COULD MAKE A BETTER ONE YOURSELF THO I AM RAYMI AND YOU ARE NOT PLEASE BUY THESE MITTENS I WORE IN GRADE 8 HUMANAHUMANAHUMANA HUH HEY LOOK AT THIS DRAWING OF A DINOSAUR WHAT LOOKS LIKE A TURNTABLE YOU WILL WONDER HOW YOU EVER SURVIVED WITHOUT IT. I HAVE A BLOG I HAVE A BLOG I HAVE BLOG I LIVE ON A LOG LOOK AT MY SHIRT DO YOU WANT IT 20 BUCKS 15 BUCKS HERE IS A POEM I PRINTED OUT 30 COPIES GET ONE NOW BEFORE I RUN OUT I WILL READ MY POEM
THERE WAS A BOY FROM OUTERSPACE
HE HAD A NICE FACE
A NICE FACE
THERE WAS A CAT NAMED MEOW
WHEN MEOW MEOWED HE MEOWED A LOT
MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER IS SUPER HOT
please be my friend
these cramps just won't go away.
we met up with samir at the beac last nite for chipotle macaroni and radmad showed up too and we met joe, samir's mechanic friend. the guy who was in the major maker video with me works at the beac. he was not wearing glasses.
can you tell i haven't had an espresso yet?
fil and i had a lunchdate at st. lawrence market today i only ate half of my peameal bacon sandwich it wasn't all that good, more like a fat tasteless sandwich with condiments on it. st. lawrence market is just a cafeteria for yuppies. when we got up from our table these four suits come over and all take turns thanking us for leaving the table after we were done eating like what yes we are done eating but NO you can't sit there until you thank me some more first!?
i said the only reason they thanked us was cos i was there fil disagreed and said it was cos he was there in his work/prison clothes, cos he's a fellow suit to them so like if i had been alone there would have been zero thanks. what do you think? i know this is VERY important i might even make a poll for it.
i think they thanked us cos they wanted to show how polite they could be to me cos they all wanted to fuck me. anyway. i get what fil is saying but still i was dressed pretty cute and casual compared to everyone else and by taking turns thanking me they are hoping that i will understand that they have lives outside of work or that i could be their girlfriend instead of fil's? i dunno all baystreeters are pretty much scum and would fuck around on their wives in a heartbeat so whatever.
so more people think oprah is a rug muncher than people who don't and just under the amount of people who think she isn't gay think it's a MAYBE.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
my skin is too pale to pull off wearing a black ball piercing but i am doing it anyway, half of people get it the other half stare from a mile away thinking MOLE MOLE MOLE in their heads.
in grade 8 my brother got suspended for a couple days along with some friends for singing WE CUM WE CUM WE CUM ON YOUR TABLE instead of WE COME TO YOUR TABLE during confirmation mass practising.
we were sent to catholic school cos my parents figured catholic education would be better but turns out you have one teacher who teaches you everything and you know it's impossible to be sufficiently skilled in all subject areas and if you are then you certianly aren't an elementary school teacher anyway, the only one-up i believe i have out of religious school is a knowledge of religion. that's it and it hasn't exactly come in handy. like hey lady thou shalt not covet my bicycle fuck off! no?
i had friends who went to public school and for the most part were pretty ignorant and now are all bigoted fag haters.
my family is/was not religious at all but sent us there anyway. so here i am with italians and portugeuse and polish, serbs, croat kids, everyone hugely catholic and i know shit all about it. we didn't even have a bible.
i wonder how my parents woulda felt if i came out of it insanely catholic, holding youth group in our livingroom and all that shit. i guess they were confident enough in my skeptical smartass abilities to fully thwart it and my brother well he'd be fine. one year i lasted in catholic highschool.
anyway, my kids will not be going to a religious school.
i remember during grade 6 science my teacher was very uncomfortable talking about darwin and evolution and threw around the word THEORY a LOT. she would cut us off when we would try and say that heaven was just a theory too and not fact. total religiousnazi that one. anyhow bring on the lightning.
oh and cos of my eleven years of religious exposure and how i'm now all NOT about it christians, catholics etc can shut up with the well you have to learn a little bit about it first before you deny it. cos i did. eleven years. the end. and don't even try with the well that was catholocism not christianity and no there is not a difference it is exactly the same shit except christianity is crazier, cuckoo and way out of its mind. speaking in tongues? come the fuck on.
lets talk about religion
because i wrote an article about pussy farting ever since i receive emails DAILY along the lines of this:
Hello. I just read your article on "pussy farts" - and I have to tell you... my wife does that when she is really cumming hard - and it is awesome. It happens when I am on top - alternating big, long thrusts with grinding moves. When is starting to cum, she'll press against me very hard and push out her pussy - then when the queef happens she is really into her orgasm - and the air I feel around my cock is pretty neat. I love it when she queefs because I know she is feeling great! Thanks for writing about this!
dear everyone: I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU CAN MAKE YOUR WIFE QUEEF DO YOU WANT ME TO CLAP YOU ON THE BACK OR RETRACT MY PIECE AND ADD IN YOUR DISGUSTING DETAILS?! FUCK OFF.
we went to see the last kiss last nite and it ended up being in one of the VIP rooms at the varsity you know there's maybe 20 seats all huge with tables attached and a girl goes around and delivers popcorn to your fat lazy ass and you can leave to get trashed in the vip lounge and go back to your seat anyway we smuggled in our own red wine, cans of it the size of redbull so that was nice. also i am on my period.
period + red wine + romantic/drama = crying the entire way through then laughing a little bit menopause styles then seriously crying again and then getting very angry at your boyfriend because zach braff cheats on his girl with this other slut etc and so on.
it's very well done i mean beautiful even, tho that might have been the wine, some scenes are hysterical while others you want to stuff your hair into your eyes it's too emotional and real. go see it.
Monday, September 25, 2006
i made that pig in grade 6 and i was the only one who decided to hodgepodge those wrappers, everyone else painted theirs different shades of pink and brown because they are followers and i am a leader. i read a bunch of religion assignments i did in grade 6 also and holy shit i totally blocked out how insanely brainwashy catholic school was/is.
my brother wrote a letter to saddam hussein when he was little and asked him to stop making the war cos he was afraid to get hit by a "misel" aw!