oh last nite when i was walking to meet ber i saw this crazy lady lob an empty yogurt/drink bottle into the street and i waited til i was out of striking distance before i said anything this is what i said WHY WOULD YOU LITTER LIKE THAT? and she goes COS I LOVE IT WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT BITCH!? and i knew immediately she was crazy, she was wearing metallic fuscia lipstick so i screamed out YOU ARE DISGUSTING in a way that made her know that she is filthy scum and what she did was also disgusting and she goes WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT BITCH SUCK IT FATTY BITCH BITCH BITCH and i screamed out even louder YOU ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING and everyone around me cheered and agreed somewhat but i kept walking away as she was yelling and standing half in traffic wtf?!
why do these encounters happen when i am sober and alone if at least one person was with me i would have the courage to do something more like pick up her bottle and throw it in her face. anyway the moral of the story is: bitches wearing fuscia lipstick standing in traffic high on shit, crazy as fuck and in their mid-forties, aren't worth getting rabies over.
also, it was the way she threw the bottle that pissed me off most, she threw it like she was making a statement to which i don't know but it was like i am the boss of bloor street fuck this yogurt bottle. by the way who the hell drinks yogurt? um, barf.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
here is a saturday homework assignment for yousall go to beirut's myspace, listen to Mount Wroclai and after you have finished crying to how beautiful it is, try and figure out the lyrics i'm having trouble discerning them what with the guy's voice being all bwaaall braaaa cwlyyyy etc. also listen to postcards from italy v. v. pretty song but i don't need the lyrics for that one they're already listed on the internet.
after pitt's wedding back at the hotel chad and fil and everyone else were rocking out to zeppelin and i turned it off and put this on and no one dug it i gather raging drunks aren't into accordians, losers.
anyway i think beirut is music to run in slow-motion through falling autumn leaves by oh and wearing long knit scarves and a golden retriever is at your heels smiling happily EXCUSE ME SOMEONE PUT GAY IN MY ESPRESSO!
more me pictures on fil's radtacular ball tingling blog!
last nite was awesome me and sarah danced and danced with old guys in leather jackets in a tiny ethiopian restaurant while noel and fil chatted and fil accused this woman of stealing his wallet but she didn't hear him and he looked down and realised that his wallet was actually in his right hand so she goes what? and he says uh hi my name is fil i just wanted to introduce myself.
sarah's wicked games
bye sarah i will miss you come back soon!
Friday, November 03, 2006
time to get il.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO MY CONVERSATIONS ON GCHAT WHEN I SIMULTANEOUSLY DOWNLOAD AN ARCHIVE FROM MY BLOG FROM ANY MONTH IN 2006:
me: mungobah doesnt believe that his jong il picture on his blog inspired my drawing
AND he hasnt seen my drawing either
this means he does NOT read my blog
Phil: i thought you posted it
hence me saying
"this means he does NOT read my blog"
send him a link
me: im trying to find it
me: omg oct archy puter way slowmive is making
um puter did that
me: oct archive d/l for yer stupid friend
tonite we are going to eat sausages with toothpicks and xxx mustard last nite we had tomato bocconcini salad with balsamic and a million pieces of salami fil was crabby to me all nite long he bought a new juice jug and was cleaning it with hot water and soap suds and shaking it and it exploded open all over the organ and said it was cos of the hot water and shaking and he should have known better the reason it happened was scientific bla bla and i said DUDE IT'S FUNNY HOW WHEN YOU FUCK UP YOU BLAME IT ON SCIENCE INSTEAD OF YOURSELF and he said well it's TRUE science made it happen and i said YES AND YOU MADE SCIENCE HAPPEN so from now on when i do something terribly fucked up i can just say i was a victim of science and then even branch out further and blame it on math and biology and history and encyclopedias too.
nice try fil you are totally blameless cos the big bad science monster got hold of your juice jug, shook it all up and placed it back in your hands.
by the by your compliment last nite was triple swoon-worthy:
YOUR HAIR LOOKS NICE EVEN THOUGH IT IS DIRTY.
are there any people out there who aren't me who are relieved to know that britney spears is IN CONTROL now? i got a free sample of this shit last nite and i was like PHEW I CAN SLEEP TONITE THANK YOU SHOPPERS DRUG MART THANK YOU. but alack britney spears also wants to know if I am IN CONTROL too aw how sweet of her, on the packaging it says "Are you? IN CONTROL"
britney, the question mark comes at the end of the sentence you are not a world famous blogger like me, you can't just make up your own damn language.
anyway i would answer your question if i knew how cos it's pretty open-ended. am i? am i what? AM I WHAT WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?!!!!!!!!
yes? i am? eating a? pizza right?? now.
that should do it.
HERE IS A PICTURE OF A SINGING MOUSE:
Thursday, November 02, 2006
new underwears. 4 for $20 ya'lls! it took me ten minutes to select the ones i wanted cos i don't know my size and i couldn't feel my hands so in looking for my size i would have to unhang some of them and hold them out and down near my frontal region and guestimate and then hang them back up if no dice, which took forever, and the girls at the cashier desk were looking at me strange and i know i looked strange cos i had this dazy I CAN'T FEEL MY HANDS look on my face which to everyone else looks like an I AM A LUNATIC COMMUNICATING WITH ALIENS RIGHT NOW AND RECEIVING IMPORTANT DATA FROM PLANET KLEXXON 14 facial expression.
ooh it is snowing right now a little bit.
i bought pants last nite that fit but i know in a week will not cos they are big and i will wear them a ton, stretch them out, you know? but i am still going to turn them into skinny pants. they have the gayest design on the ass pockets too, two skull/crossbones with BEDAZZLED SILVER STUDS which i plan to tear off with pliers and there's fake distressed marks and other crap that's suppose to trick people into thinking i have owned these jeans since the dawn of levi's but really just makes people think i work at zellers in scarborough ZING!
so as we are leaving to go pay for our stuff, me and fil, i pass this wall of jeans ALL IN MY SIZE that i had overlooked !!!!! and they didn't have bedazzled junk all over them either, i was angEry, the numbness is also in my legs so trying on jeans is very irritating and dangerous too, i have scrapes from tags up and down my thighs and bruises from the sensor tags cos i can't feel them anyway buh this is boring, the numbness will go away eventually and you guys can go back to reading about fart jokes and animals i encounter on the street.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
ok i just planned out what me and lewdmelissa will be doing this afternoon so that she doesn't think during the day sober raymi is too boring and crabby:
go to honest ed's
she can watch me return a movie at queen and then watch me rent one
have a snack at green room w/ a pop, NO BEER OR WINE
come back here and paint
go to other stores
i'm not saying which order this will all be in though it is probably obvious i might buy caulking cos the bathtub is starting to gross me out. last bath day some of that blacky filmy bathtub stuff was floating around and it ruined bath day. i seriously cannot bathe if there is anything floating in the tub with me not even a tiny speckle of ANYTHING but peeing in the tub and hanging out for hours is fine um i went too far.
fil bought socks that say the days of the week on them he told me he is almost forty and for a second i believed him but wait he isn't even 32 yet but soon dude, soon.
we went to winners and it was closed phew and h&m was too double phew so we went to chapters and bought books instead and this old guy chatted up fil on the escalator who was standing backwards waiting for me at the bottom, i was looking at a kid's PIRATEOLOGY book anyway the old guy is bla bla bla and i get to the top and all polite i go oh are you talking about me he says yes but they can't anymore cos now i'm there and he goes away and we are looking at a table of books and old guy comes back with a POP UP BOOK about celebrity fuck ups and shows me the entire book and i'm saying all the right nice things it was really endearing of him but i started to feel panicky a little bit cos he was making me interact for longer than i could handle so i went to hide in the fantasy section after that.
there is absolutely no moral to this post by the way i mean there will probably be a KOOKY moral that has nothing to do with anything but this post has no point.
oh i got my mom a journal, it's her birthday on the 6th. it isa nice journal that "takes its design from the hand-tooled leather cover of a seventeenth-century Bible." so mom you can write all your thoughts and worries in this journal instead of my comments ok?! ps if you didn't read my blog then the surprise wouldn't have been spoiled.
then we went home and watched dawn of the dead and although we've seen it a couple times fil has zero memory of any of it so maybe he is forty?
should this just be called the fil blog?
yeah no drinky-poo last nite and none today though i am hanging out with the lewd angel so GOOD TIMING RAYMI YOU MORON!
my stomache is already hurting from sobering out or i'm mindfucking myself into thinking that it is. one time over two years ago i stopped drinking for two weeks and my insides felt like people were kicking them all the time.
the moral of the story is there is more to life than being wasted all the time and it is SHOPPING! haha.