FOUR YEARS AGO TODAY
i will pay someone four dollars if they come over and clean up my room, do my laundry, do my hair, tell me i'm pretty and then get me some soda.
i have these Ferrous Gluconate iron pills but i haven't been taking them consistently enough so on the days i remember i take a handful and then everything gets all weird.
i wore a t-shirt dress yesterday. this bigass white thing i got from art system and i wore long johns and my barbarella boots and i walked in slow motion through the snow all the way to the supermarket whereupon i bought blackberries and hair-dye and greek salad.
i put lipstick all over my body at my place of employment last nite after a few beers and i got it all over the place and i tried to wipe it off but it still says cocktease and cunt and bitch on my arms and legs. i am deliberating whether or not i should post the pictures.
maybe i will.
i told my roommates to drink all the milk while i was away and they didn't so we have two rancid bags of 2 per cent just sitting there. i think i might throw one over the backyard fence into the alley.
Let's play strip poker and both lose!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
FOUR YEARS AGO TODAY
i just nominted myself for the weblog awards but only for best canadian blog cos you guys are all missing a chromosome or two so i made it simple anyway this web award is a bigger deal than the other one i am too exhausted from being the best all the time so you go vote and track it yourselves if you give a shit if you don't then i don't give a shit about you either and well, get ready for 2007 to be my most bitterest year in blogging yet.
and the shirt strikes back
remind me i have a story to tell you about fil and some other guy i cheated on this other guy with who i basically got to come out of the closet to me two nites ago. ok there i just told you the story anyway he did everything short of getting down on his knees and blowing fil at mod club. awesome. fil has this ability to make drunk gays lose their fucking minds it's sweet.
i dont know if anyone has ever suggested this to you, but you should be the story teller at the library in the kids section when they have story hour. i dont have kids, but if i did and you were the story teller i would insist they go.
allie | Homepage | 11.18.06 - 4:25 am | #
Bah, it bitches when you try to vote more than once! Good job that you will run away with it anyways.. you are the 'normal' person in blogland, you don't mind admitting you have problems, be it drink or whatnot.
You have been a fucking lifesaver for me over the last year and a bit (thats how long I have been reading... god I am a n00b), somehow the shit you have been through, pre px, makes my life look like i'm living a dream!
Heres to you Raymi, may god bless you to boog forever and ever amen :-x
bsg | Homepage | 11.17.06 - 11:08 pm | #
are you scared?
Friday, November 17, 2006
me: try and copy this
i got it
merkley???: quit writing like bjork
merkley???: hja hja hja
dude u just gave me my next blog post
merkley???: what else is new
me: what do we want to eat for dinner
Phil: i am full of rice cakes and peanut butter
i could bring some more of that home
you are hungry now i guess
i want to eat at RED room and have their singapore vermicelli mmmmmmmm sooooo good and it is right there next to the el mo
me: is that where hot one is tonite?
Phil: yes ma'am
me: what time is the show
Phil: i dunno but i think emm said last night something about hot one actually going on at 10:30
we could eat at red, then walk around kensington and grab a drink somewhere else before show
me: i cant wait that long to eat
Phil: i know but i just ate so maybe you should find something light to eat
to tide you over
Phil: will that be substantial enough?
me: another hoodia
aw its sweet that you are so supportive of my eating disorder
Phil: im here for you baby
puking choir girl
i bought espresso beans from second cup and had them ground and this espresso is positively delicious i am never going back to that other garbage it is like i went to second cup but i didn't maybe i will write them a poem and mail it anonymously, how creepy would that be think about it you could mail an anonymous poem to every single place you have ever eaten or ever grocery-shopped.
maybe that will be my new blog, poetry i write and mail anonymously to shopper's drugmart and dominion and h&m and queen video i rule.
but it's more of a yeah right will never happen i can barely mail a postcard to my friend. i wrote one to jamie and stamped it but didn't write his address on it just his name.
oh right these two paris hilton's were at the guns n roses show in the bathroom and ask me to take their picture and immediately went into slut airhead pose and then later on after sebastian bach was done in the bathroom again one says YOU MEAN THAT WASN'T GUNS AND ROSES!? and then she gets on her fone and says YEAH WE JUST THOUGHT WE SAW GUNS AND ROSES BUT WE DIDN'T THEY HAVEN'T EVEN GONE ON YET.
WELCOME TO RAYMI 2006 BLOG CAMPAIGN
IF I LOSE, YOU LOSE
me: vote for me from work please
Phil: fine - url?
get it from my blog
Phil: if you want me to vote so bad why dont you make it easy for me
me: who are u my blog readers
Phil: yes but i get to play with your tits in real life
me: to find me im in three categories
i plan to win all of them
me: im going to make a funny blog campaign
and promise changes
and then when i win change nothing
BUT a huge part of my platform will be what people will LOSE if i lose
the slogan will be IF I LOSE, YOU LOSE!
me: there i just wrote my campaign
ok espresso and then i have to refine it
Thursday, November 16, 2006
oh yeah voting started yesterday VOTE FOR ME HERE i'm in three categories, best blog, best humour blog, best personal blog. you can vote everyday up to november 21. just hit cntrl f 'raymi' and find next to sift through names to speedily find me and vote oh and of course spread the word.
oh yeah i'm quitting my blog if i don't win anything.