blogging is a sickness.

today at least.

though bringing people down to my level is pretty fun.

don't forget to vote again tomorrow, and now it's leafs + rye time.

i also tried to upload videos from last nite to my buzznet all day long and it didn't work so you will have to wait a little longer, it's worth it though. i sing papa don't preach and i dance and i do the clap and then the double clap to the beat. i thought i knew how to sing that song, the verses, but nope, i so don't, not a comfort zone song, good to know and then i sing j.lo's waiting for tonite and totally fucking destroy it and i don't mean in a i fucking slayed that song kind of way. it was like i was singing a completely separate song but to the beat, amazing. that song came out strategically just before y2k and i dug it a lot, especially the video, sang along to it and for awhile years after it was no longer top 40 status, during nites when i couldn't sleep i would have it stuck in my head for some reason (mental problems) - with all this i thought well i can own this fucking song.

WRONG.



i might have deleted it it's so bad. even lou gosset jr. knew how to sing it and sang screamed it along until i figured out the rhythym. i think all of lise's racism has finally gotten to me.

i also sang no doubt's cover of it's my life and soda the cat sings along with me after the part DON'T YOU FOR-GEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHT then soda goes wreeeeeeeeaow and attacks the dog cos my singing skills drive her mental.

the moral of the story is: wine and champagne and squash soup = BEST EAR GOGGLES EVER

i have a serious question for the christians or whoever believes in god - does god read blogs? and if so, does he read my blog? if the answer is yes, why doesn't he leave me any comments? or, why doesn't he leave you comments, cos like, you guys are friends, right?

please dignify these questions with a response.

ps i bet he likes my blog the best and shakes his head and chuckles and says oh, that raymi and the reason he likes my blog the best is because it hurts his feelings when you guys post stuff about all the mistakes of the world like war and pollution and poverty, bet you never thought of that one.

perhaps i should call tcs (the christian station) during their live chat show and ask them if god reads blogs then scream YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCK IN HELL and hang up.

love raymi.

DIY build your own masturbator (for men).



haha, yep, looks pretty safe to me.

BlogTO raymi interview

I WOULD RATHER?
	violently shit myself every ten minutes
	masturbate in front of a thousand old people and can't close my eyes
	make out with my uncle in front of my family
	eat a dog turd and drink vomit
	eat burnt hair while having my toenails ripped off
	fall through fifty glass windows cutting my face and body but survive
	eat a bunch of hot garbage
	drink a gallon of pee
	never be allowed to blink again and then my eyes dry up and shrivel into nothing and it really hurts
	everytime i fall asleep have terrifying nitemares so then i'm too scared to sleep and then lose my job and everyone i love
Free polls from Pollhost.com

if you had to choose and you can't cop-out with NOTHING I WOULD KILL MYSELF you are not allowed to die.

ok one last thing about this abortion stuff and then we can get back to the regular barf farting drunk sluts routine:

the fact you're getting carved to pieces is that you assume your content is more important than what i write

So what's it to you if I think that? What possible effect could it have on your life?

Yes, I do think religion, politics and social issues are more important than the mundane goings on of people's lives. -suzanne

to many, my content is important to them likewise as to some, your content is more important--

I said as much in my first post-- I'm sure your fans like your stuff. That doesn't mean to say I think your blog is good.

it's not a what is more important race

I acknowledged as much: you won because you have more traffic.

ps a lot of people strongly disagree with right-winger pro-lifers that's just the way it is.

As if I didn't know that.

oh and i suffered a severe psychosis due to post traumatic stress a few years ago, was hospitalised and i got pregnant at the time and was forced to have an abortion, bringing a child into the world at that time would be a totally cruel and inept thing to do so FUCK YOU. goodbye.


But killing an unborn child is not cruel? You couldn't have given up the child for adoption? That wouldn't have been cruel. Certainly less cruel that having him torn limb from limb.

The truth is you did it for yourself, not because of any real concern for the unborn child.

I wonder if she means "goodbye" for real.

I'm just amazed that people so sure that my opinions are worthless feel the need to show me the error of my ways.


i was on medication, bringing a doped-up child to term and then putting it into the adoption system like, you're welcome kid good fucking luck? and limb from limb? the thing was a zygote, it's not like it was working on bay street. anyway, i do not think that the idea of abortion is amazing or anything however it's a necessity for some and don't be ignorant to that, think: poor people, women of rape - this is an area where religion should not come into play, ever. and i know your next argument will be bla bla once the sperm hits the egg it's a person, that's pure bullshit so don't even bother.

ps if you already knew that people like to argue with your kind THEN WHY ARE YOU SO AMAZED PEOPLE SO SURE THAT YOUR OPINIONS ARE WORTHLESS FEEL THE NEED TO SHOW YOU THE ERROR OF YOUR WAYS!?

pps. that was a really brutal sentence to read it took me like, five hours to figure out.

My blog is worth $908,909.40.
How much is your blog worth?

ha that chick is getting so carved anyway this is the last thing i said in her comments

the fact you're getting carved to pieces is that you assume your content is more important than what i write and that's not true. to many, my content is important to them likewise as to some, your content is more important-- it's not a what is more important race and ps a lot of people strongly disagree with right-winger pro-lifers that's just the way it is. oh and i suffered a severe psychosis due to post traumatic stress a few years ago, was hospitalised and i got pregnant at the time and was forced to have an abortion, bringing a child into the world at that time would be a totally cruel and inept thing to do so FUCK YOU. goodbye.

ok VOTE now everyone for the millionth time, i'm gunning for best blog, best personal blog and best humour blog, i will reward you with videos of me wasted last nite singing karaoke hero. DON'T FORGET TO VOTE EVERYDAY UNTIL 1 DECEMBER. i put a maple leaf icon link on the sidebar. (notice how i put the 1 in front of december do you like it when i am pretending to have a british accent? me too).

let me also point out that on november 28 (my dad's birthday) it is the 6th year anniversary of this blog, the way i see it, I. AM. OWED.

love raymi



ps i had a dream that rick mercer linked fil's blog ahead of mine and i lost my fucking mind over it.

and now, on a more important note:



um, bajungas called, they want their, um, you back? no, does that work?

also there are the 2006 weblogs to remember, there's a week left of nominations, so far i am nominated for best blog and best diarist (ha, diarrhea).

schmutzie is pretty funny and decent and said this about me, good luck dude.

The one to watch out for is Raymi. Actually, no, she's not the one to watch out for, because I think she's going to win this category hands down. I mean, she's got boobs and naughty drawings and stuff, and all I've got is a picture of the top of my head.

I am not begrudging her naked self, I'll have you know. There have been some uptight snooty snoots slamming Raymi lately for her half-naked pictures and overt promotion of her website, and it's ridiculous. She's not even lewd about it. Even if she is doing it for votes, it can't be held against her, because she's been getting half-naked on her website since forever, and she has never tried to hide the fact that she wants to be famous. This is nothing new. Raymi doing what she's always done ≠ Raymi being trashy. It just seems so childish and churchy to wag fingers like you've never seen a set of boobies before, unless you believe that ladies should hide their sweater meats away from the lusty male gaze, in which case, shut up.

bwahah, cinema? thanks for the joke.

Well let's see. My writing is better. The subject matter is more interesting. It's more intellectually challenging. And it's easier to read.

Yeah, I'd say this blog is better crafted. -suzanne

yeah that's what *you would say ahem, but the rest of the internet and the fact that you didn't make the top 5 cut? ZING. i would say this is the most boring blog ever but you don't even deserve to win that. OOOooooh ouch.

and by the way if one was wanting to find the information that you post on your blog they would reference a reputable news source not some biased boring blog, seriously scan the titles of your posts ZZZZZ.

**UPDATE i would also like to add how funny it is that these political bloggers cannot fathom losing to me, not making the top 5 cut like only just now realised how boring and vapid they are like a politically opinionated blog isn't a fucking dime a dozen and if i wanted to be the top 1 in that category i could but i choose to deliver fluff and funny cos the world is full of bullshit and i think it is important to give people a break from all the boring chaos - oh really? so and so in the house of commons said "bla bla bla" last nite and this is what you think about it and everyone in yer webring wrote the same thing today? astounding. wait, what? tomorrow you will quote verbatim something from the business section of the national post?!?! I CAN'T WAIT POST IT NOW NOW1!!!1NOWWWWWWWWW!

they think what i do is easy they claim oh if i wanted to do what raymi does and achieve the loyal readers and all that they could, yeah, could you? could you really? are you funny? ok do it then.

read this gem:

"Raymi the Minx? I never heard of her.

If I'd least lost to a political, cultural or religious blog-- even those of my ideological opponents.

When I consider all the blogs in the Canadian political blogosphere...and I had to lose to that. I'm sure all her fans like her, but this is not the blogging crowd I know.

It's just not very satisfying. It's like a piece of cinema losing to the latest low-brow sitcom."

this bitch called her blog CINEMA.

AHAHhahahHAHAhAHaaa.

she's also a pro-lifer. by the by, you are most welcome for the hits/traffic ms. boring mcborington.

fuck i hate politics. i really didn't want this to be a political blog or make my political and religious beliefs a part of it. i can't wait 'til this voting shit is over with and i can retire in my montenegrin mansion eating grapes and getting head from fil etc and so on oh but if i lose as previously stated i WILL be taking my blog down, and if you want to call my bluff on that, go ahead.

so we saw casino royale last nite and i liked it i am trying to convince fil to get those tiny bathing suit trunks that daniel craig wears something in my brain splodes when i think about them anyway fil said no.



beside me these four guys were sitting in the back row and before the movie started one said THAT'S THE RAINBOW FLAG THAT FAGGOTS WEAR. my eyes bugged out and i shot them a dirty look until i made eye contact with one of them then looked away and one said LESBIANS referring to me assuming my girlfriend would show up but then fil came and i told him about what happened but not before i shot them one more dirty look and pointed at them while i was talking about them so that they knew i was talking about them and would feel uncomfortable.

kinda ironic they drop the faggot bomb meanwhile they are four dudes w/ no ladies watching daniel craig in a tiny bathing suit movie.

what else oh yeah after the movie fil stuck his finger into my side under my left arm and ushered me out pretending his finger was a gun, as previously mentioned on this blog, after every movie we watch we pretend we are whatever just happened in the movie i can't wait until spiderman 3.

ps i want to move to montenegro now.


these are my friends

dear internet

it is imperative that you vote for me tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that, the votes i have already will not be carried over into round 2 so basically round 1 was just giving everyone a heads up on how obnoxiously lame and naive they are to my following, mostly these people are political windbags who started blogging last week and they are all saying that i am posting nudes as a ploy like how convenient of me to do that - hey listen up geniuses, EVERYTHING i have done EVER is a ploy that's how you become famous on the internet, not by writing about bathing your son or planting sage in your fat ass garden you have to be good looking and smart and funny, sorry, remember highschool? well this is it all over again.

everyone else VOTE VOTE VOTE FOR RAYMI EVERYDAY UNTIL DECEMBER 1st starting TOMORROW and tell all your friends and their friends - i am in three categories

best blog
best humour blog
best personal blog

hit cntrl f 'raymi' to skip to my name don't bother voting for anyone else they are not important. well you can at least look at them once but once you look at their boring crap-o-blogs think how retarded it would be if i lost to them wtf?! they've already jumped the gun and are writing whiney cop-outs and shit talking me, i wasn't planning to go that route but feh, meh bleh and so on.



oh and there will be consequences if i lose, i will take my blog down for a long period of time AND DON'T THINK THAT I WON'T.

YOURS RAYMI THE ENFORCER

have a nice friday, as for me i will be drunk and playing guitar hero 2 wearing a batman costume and here is a picture of my friend noel and his celebrity look-a-likes as evidence of how fucking wicked my blog skills are:

yesterday i discovered that my good friend lise is a RACIST. we were on the couch watching a different world and i said oh come on how is there a college with all black people not one white person (thinking in my head this show is racist) and then lise says that it's based on a for real college BUT THEY LET THE WHITE PEOPLE IN.

THE? WHITE PEOPLE?!

then i called her out on it, you see, although lise looks white, she is not, she is indian something or other so i guess she has deep hatred stored up for the white man and probably hangs out with me to spy on the white woman and makes up little jokes about me in her racist journal when she gets home.

my last name is white and i thought her nickname for me _whitey_ was suppose to be affectionate but now that the cat is out of the bag thanks to a different world, she's gone back to calling me raymi.

oh and don't you worry lise thanks to you i am now FULLY AWARE about how much of "a different world" it really is.

Mike: I mentioned you on blogTO
the blogTO server is really slow right now, in case that link doesn't work...

me:
yeah it's chugging slowly
have u been reading those fucking political douches
they never heard of me before and they are all shocked that i am #1
like get over it
this is evidence of how self indulgent and nerdy they are

Mike: the early adaptors with their ear to the ground and respect of all things web 2.0 know you - those guys are all johnny-come-latelys and very old school

me: yes
this means i super duper have to win and beat them all out
cos everyone can have a political opinion but it's the bullshit that i come up with daily that truly matters

Mike: it means you actually have influence - which must drive them crazy

i've been reading my book, it just arrived in the mail, marketable depression, not the one i'm working on now, and i keep thinking wow i'm smart or this makes me look smart which is not how i felt half a year ago or even a whole year ago, over time my perception has changed about it and that's nice, i think. mostly, my memory is just destroyed it's like i didn't even write that book and it's not even about me.

i found what i want fil to get me for xmas, it's a jacket. originally i wanted wallabies but this jacket is pretty amazing i'll just buy the shoes myself.

wainbows: ooh i have to dress nice too, i almost forgot

me: why do u have to dress nice

wainbows: can i stay at your house until 4:30 and then leave my car there til nighttime maybe?
i have to go to some function and record stories at 5:30

me: yes
when are u gonna come by im getting starved

wainbows: i have to shower and wash my hair so i can't leave here for nother hour nd chnge

me: ok
call when yer here

wainbows: ok sorry my a key keeps coming off

me: its ok
are u homeless

wainbows: just A little get it? ahhahaha

me: HAHAHAHAHAHHA

inspired by raymi




remember this?

Raymi the Minx had a substantial lead on the other four challengers in round one voting, but that doesn't mean anything for round two. Clicking on the link brings me to a Blogspot blog with a simple layout, but an interesting colour scheme, a nicely drawn banner, and some interesting photographs. This is a hip looking blog and an interesting window into the life of an interesting urban dweller. My main complaint is that her blog takes too long to load up fully, although the design compensates by delivering the meaty content first and allowing the peripherals to come up later.

bowjamesbow.ca


interesting how i am still pretty unknown to many on the internets.

EVERYONE I INVENTED A WORD IT IS WEBRITY AND THE DEFINITION IS: ME.

here is my breast good morning it thanks you for your vote and here's looking to a brighter future have a lovely tomorrow -raymi lauren



i'm up cos the word TROGLODYTE magically came into my head and i couldn't figure out if it was even a real word so i was lying there thinking what it could even mean and gave up deducing it's potential definition when all i could come up with was LESBIAN DYKE MONSTERS turns out i am not that far off it means:

1. a prehistoric cave dweller.
2. a person of degraded, primitive, or brutal character.
3. a person living in seclusion.
4. a person unacquainted with affairs of the world.
5. an animal living underground.

that concludes raymi's IS IT A WORD? of the day, thanks for participating.

(this post is dedicated to blair).

oh and since we are on the topic of words, urban dictionary did NOT accept my word LONERISMS and i am too busy choking on my rage to say the proper cuss word about them right now.

results are in i'm winning for best blog and best personal blog but rick mercer is beating me for best humour blog so all my harassing wasn't all for naught. i'm second behind rick mercer how nice would it be if a non-television "celebrity" beat out rick mercer? so yeah voting opens again on the 25th of november. thank you everyone who voted thus far you're the best oh no wait, i am.

The top 5 blogs in each category move on to round 2. In the event of a tie for 5th place the category will be expanded to add these additional blogs in the 2nd round of voting.



Subject: hurro
To: rick@rickmercer.com

you are beating me but not by much for best canadian humour blog
i plan to win
and if i do
can i be on your show?
i'll even starve myself nicole richie style
oh i will also win best canadian blog and best personal blog, just saying
stick that in your blog and smoke it rick mercer!

love raymi

i went to my cousin's smelting party (you get a bunch of nets and catch smelts when they are "running") at ozone creek here is what happened -- the party gets all end of dazed and confused and people take to their tents and campers so we have to go home but home is far and we were staying at this camp at gravel river about 10 miles away so we're on our way back and we got the least drunk one to drive who was also the MOST stoned and we are in this giant hippie van that is from 1969 and seats 19 but there are only 10 of us, my cousin's friend swany is simulating a blowjob on a smelt, the only smelt of the night that was caught, and he stole it from the guy who was so happy to have it and my cousin was very strung out on coke so he punched him in the head and THAT'S when we hear the driver go

what the fuck is a horse doing on the middle of the road in northwestern ontario

he has time to say all that and then BAM we pegged off a moose and i looked behind us and the moose was still standing! it was like in dazed when they throw the bowling ball through the window then we all laugh and pass out at gravel river the end oh we found some fur in the side of the van on the window pane

that is the end of my story

i like these

on a completely interesting note i have finally for reeeeals decided to have grown-up fingernails. i have never had long fingernails cos i bite them and i am happy to share that 3 nails are longish right now. THREE! that's huge! HUGE NEWS! huge.

unfortunately there is a huge chance they will be mangled by the end of the nite cos i have an even more annoying habit of flicking them against each other during tv time and it drives fil batshit crazy oh i'm just full of surprises, world!

ok the movie we watched last nite was YOU ME AND DURPEE now you may have seen it or you've heard things about it sucking, and it sort of does and duh i am going to tell you all the reasons why but it's still ok to rent, not saying that you won't come away absolutely pissed off or anything however based on past F reviews i've doled out half of you say that you LOVED that movie hence my concluding most of you are a chromosome short, ANYWAY, here are my MOVIE OPINIONS in point form, i'll begin with the reasons why it is bad and nothing will be in order oh and for shit sake stop reading now if you don't wanted it to be spoiled unlike last time some trollop was like I HATE YOU RAYMI WAH BLA like i controlled her eyes and forced her to read my shitty blog:

-there's a slow-motion triumphant walking sequence and bad enough as that is, the ones doing the slow-motion triumphant walking are little pieces of shit kids and dupree is leading the pack O!M!G! enough said.

-matt dillon's character starts hitting the sauce major cos he is stressed about work and dupree and kate hudson's dad who is played by michael douglas anyway, they set it up so he's drinking hard liquor every nite and you know it's coming you know the part where she is all YOU ARE DRINKING TOO MUCH is just around the corner and THEN it gets to the very scene in the kitchen she leans over the kitchen island and there is even a fucking bottle of hooch THAT SHE FUCKING LOOKS AT WITH A I AM GOING TO MENTION THIS BOOZING look on her face and he's leaning against the other counter and she starts her speech and COMPLETELY FUCKING DOESN'T SAY A WORD ABOUT HIS BOOZING AT ALL the entire movie they set it up like it's going to be an extra point to inevitably dwell on but then isn't.

THAT would be like ME collecting newspapers for weeks on end cos i planned to construct a papier mache scale model of the couch so i'm all IN YOUR FACE collecting papers and magazines and asking for you to not throw yours away and this goes on WEEKS and then i just MOVE ON to another project and then you don't even ask me about the papier mache couch i was planning to make like a fucking moron, you don't even acknowledge the stacks of newspaper everywhere the fire hazard what is my surroundings instead you are all HEY RAYMI LETS GO GET SANDWICHES.

-michael douglas as dad is exactly how he was in that other wedding movie he was in like fuck off already with the father of the kid getting married movies and stop with the kung-fu i am a millionaire master of my domain moves already you are not the boss of the world nor is your hair and you have shitty comedic timing and when i picture you having sex with catherine zeta jones or making out with sharon stone, i barf through my nose.



-in the beginning of the movie we hate kate hudson cos she is like the witch wife fun-ruiner but then woah didn't see that coming 180 happens and we like her and HATE matt dillon like WHAT_THE_FUCK? oh and also she drinks a lot of wine too so you are way boner over that until the dream sequence when she's wearing a bathing suit and heels on a boat (hmm overboard anyone?) and her hair is all huge and blond and she looks EXACTLY like goldie hawn and it IS sickitating.

-there is also this one part that fully should have been a deleted scene, dupree is at the school where hudson teaches and she tells him the librarian is a slut and all these dudes walk by slowly and nod at him like they banged her too and it's the worst most uncomfortable not funny or necessary scene i canNOT wait for you to see it!

all these things aside and despite the shoddy execution of production on this gem it's still entertaining and worth seeing cos there are some decent funny bits specifically the end where dupree is "throwing seven different kinds of smoke" oh and i hope you didn't read any of this if you are actually planning to rent it.

4.5/10 enjoy

my milk bag post got the internet in a big war specifically albertians vs ontarians cos i said dear americans assuming all of canada has access to bagged milk but now that i know ontario does it mostly my love of ontario has DUPLIFIED that's right i said duplified more like made it up anyway join in on the debate or don't or at least get really annoyed by it there's nothing more amazing than people arguing the same side of the fence.

fuck i am actually going to watch oprah today and it's going to be a boring one, i rarely watch it but the days i decide ho hum the couch calls it's always some washington guy who was secretly gay and cheating on his wife and he wrote a book about it or that nate guy decorating a house. if i wanted to learn about gay politicians i would READ A NEWSPAPER. was that joke funny? if i wanted to watch a show about renovations and decorating i would WATCH A SHOW ABOUT RENOVATIONS AND DECORATING. was that a funnier joke?

dear oprah,

you have bad breath.

love, raymi
xx

i saw a pair of boots at da zone that are made of denim and i told fil i was going to get them and then go visit my dad and be like TOP THAT! cos my dad's favorite weekend outfit is the canadian tuxedo (that is not a picture of my dad btw) i would basically spend $200 just to make my brother laugh for 20 seconds cos i am committed like that. seriously a whole jean outfit right down to your FEET it would be like camouflage denim if i went to a stingy poolhall you'd be like HEY WHERE DID SHE GO?! hahaha. seriously tho i rate those boots 10/10 for bugly. anyway my dad rules it's his birthday next tuesday.

here is reason 234555311006 to vote for me:

if you google ANN HATHAWAY NIPPLES my blog is #1

i met fil for lunch at shanghai cowgirl it was my first time there fil said i am such a bitch for thinking the waitress was phony cos i said man she is so phony like come on just BE YOURSELF not that she wasn't nice or anything just like, fuck, nevermind. i wanted some of fil's noodles and so i put some on my fork and as i was delicately bringing it across the table he flung them everywhere so neither of us could enjoy them GOOD GOING. then i bought no name cotton swabs and left them in fil's car to bring me when he gets home and i said you can think of me and he winced and i said dude is thinking about your girlfriend now equally disgusting as making out in public with her?

tell me if i am no longer making any sense.

**EDIT fil thinks this post makes him look bad and i disagree he only pretend-winced in our inside joke kind of way and we always bicker over food and sharing it when the other one is crazy starving i think it is cute ok is that better fil?

ps ten bucks says one of you toronto dingalings will direct this waitress to my blog and i will never be able to eat at shanghai cowgirl again not cos i'm afraid of confrontation but cos she'll hock a loogie in my food which i would totally do anyway thanks for spying on my blog and ratting me out in advance ya'll!


amy winehouse - you know i'm no good

it's like bloor street doesn't want me to have q-tips or cotton swabs (those two words together sound disgusting for some reason) i mean shopper's only has baby cotton swabs (barf) so i always forget that i wanted to buy some and then yesterday at the supermarket in the petfood/toiletries aisle i asked this chick if i was blind or stupid of possibly both cos every toiletry was present save for q-tips. i swear i am going to buy a shoe-box size lise i will even go with you to mississauga to costco to purchase a bulksize, moving box sized box of q-tips i feel like bug barbeque in microserfs who buys everything in bulk, drinking straws, whatever, cept i'm not a bald millionaire.

i should go back to bed so i can have a dream and then blog about it i have nothing to report today. we got halfway through kiss kiss bang bang last nite so i don't want to talk about it much yet however it IS funny especially when robert downey jr. pees on that body by mistake he and val kilmer have good on-screen chemistry.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY i introduced you to this genius, cos of her big eyes, and now you are all best friends BECAUSE OF ME you're welcome!

what is your actual breast size?

My actual breast size is kinda unknown. I wear a 38
dd bra. I wear it because a ddd is too lame to
find, and when you do find it the bras all look like a
fat ugly grandma should be wearing them.


LAST DAY FOR VOTING then we look at round 1 results and i get to see if i am beating out the others WHICH I SHOULD BE. just saying.


sunday carwash


things you CAN'T do when you're NOT in a pool

me: hi
i am back from my grocery shopping bonanza

Phil: and movie dropping-off excursion

me: yes and i rented a movie, 7 day rental, kiss kiss bang bang
i had a dream that i was drinking pepsi with your mom, so i bought some, those half cans

Phil: hug hug crash crash
dreamslave

me: somehow advertisers made it into my dreams
yeah

Phil: so what did you buy from the carpet munching store

me: some douche downstairs wouldnt let me in i was fumbling for my keys i had all
these bags
like yeah i am THE GROCERY STORE BURGLAR
I GO GROCERY SHOPPING THEN I BREAK INTO CONDO BUILDINGS

Phil: probably thought you were a homeless baglady

me: yeah with my new hat
"why is that old lady dressed like a teenager"

Phil: that you stole from some old lady

me: and vise versa

Phil: vice versa

me: vicey versy
ungh

Phil: yes so what did the sisterhood of the unshorn apocalypse sell you from their communist store?

me: yeah i didnt go to the lesbo health store
i tried that one called organics beside queen and was like um i do not want to eat a bag of seeds for dinner
so i went to dominion instead

um here we go again?

i mean, not to be a hypocrite or anything, but, come on, really courtney?




a circle of secrets. President Bush talked with President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, rear, and Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada talked to President Michelle Bachelet of Chile, foreground, at the economic summit meeting of Asian nations in Vietnam on Sunday. this is an amazing picture. i wonder what they are saying? nice hat. pfft.

i thought of a title for my book more pretentious than the other title but i might use both of them together maybe * ****** ******: the biggest thing that never happened.

perfect.

i bought a ridiculous necklace yesterday, it's silver bling with fake diamonds and a spinner rim and it hurts my neck to wear it cos it's heavy. fil was pretty disgusted by it saying my spending is out of control it's like watching an alcoholic or whatever, i didn't even bother to make a joke out of that comparison cos i was too busy feeling the blues a la captain bringdown so this week i am not going to spend any money on myself or buy any clothes or pieces of shit necklaces that give me a neckache. it was 15.99 and i got a free pen so no i am not a lunatic i did not blow 300 on a piece of pop culture junk. i paid 15.99 for it instead. oh i also will not drink either. i had something else to say but i forget oh yeah vote for me again thanks.

i drunk texted the world saturday nite i will transcribe some of them later and i only did it cos we were watching the game at a pub and it was booooooring i also bought a bottle of champagne, shared it with fil at home whilst watching snl (LUDA!) then later on i barfed. nice. i haven't barfed in a long time so don't feel bad. oh yeah we fought over a burrito as well, we were drunk making everything in the fridge and once fil nuked the second burrito i was like um another burrito? which made him feel obese i dunno so then he refused to eat it and i ate some of it but was getting angry that he wouldn't finish it then i foil wrapped it and put it in the fridge and then last nite during trailer park boys i was like I AM GOING TO NUKE IT AND PUT FRANK'S ON IT AND SHARE IT WITH FIL COS I AM A NICE GIRLFRIEND i go to the fridge and SOMEONE had already EATEN IT.

so then i told him what my burrito intentions were and i think he pretended to feel bad this is a good story.

skateboarding mannequins


blender pug