if you want to see a picture of my birthday beaver go here.

we watched shortbus last nite and it is amazing there is a lot of wang and twat in it but it's not too perverse, ok it is but you can look beyond that, especially if you are wasters, but, it is magical and touching and sad and nice and far better than i initially imagined, rent it for reals. you will notice a ton of cameos from toronto scenester kids and that L word dyke, i forget which one, but i am wondering if she hails from toronto and is the same one i have had a crush on since i was 17! weird. anyway it's a goodie just don't watch it with your parents! awkward.

the special features are pretty good too, how they filmed it obvs. and how all these people dropped out cos they were worried about their careers and sook-yin lee was backed by the canadian government to do this, at first her cbc job was in jeopardy but then all these celebs spoke up on her behalf and the canadian gov. was like fine, i have a newfound respect for sook now, her body is also killer.

6th birthday party, brother 8th

that outfit slayed!

thanks dinky.

today it is my 24th birthday and i already want to kill myself.

i hope i don't try and make one of those drunk-emotional revelations speeches tonite, like last year. barf.

dude, while breaking up w/ girfriend #x i got to hear all kinds of
shit about how she put up w/ me being friends w/ raymi.

the first time she bitched about you i should have known.

you're literally breaking up relationships across all of north america.

you damn canadians.

love ya...j

i just schooled some first year frat boys, i turned the corner on the way home and three of them were sitting on their roof drinking and one said HEY YOU BOUGHT ME SOME DINNER BABY? i was carrying japanese take-out and a bunch of canvases, i was sweaty and annoyed and i was wearing cool sunglasses, i looked hot don't worry so i smiled snottily and said HEY HOW OLD ARE YOU GUYS? TEN? and they went all quiet and one said what did she say? another one said she said we were ten and then attempted to say something else to me like we are old enough for you or something, thought better of it and then they stayed quiet 'til i walked away.

what other zingers could i have said?

Artist Interview with Lauren White

I posted it last night and I think it turned out pretty good. It sounds all "I'm the dispassionate media", but my friends tell me it makes you sound smart and serious, so maybe you'll like it. It's just a "this is how it is" from a viewer's take, so I hope you don't mind that there's not a lot of butt-kissing (although there is some of that, too).

Anyway, thanks again!

Aaron

THERE IS A LADY IN THE PARK RIGHT NOW WITH HER SON SHE IS WEARING AN ACID-WASHED JEAN JACKET FROM 1982 CIGARETTE IN ONE HAND POOR BLOND DYE-JOB KINDA GREY WHISPY LAYERED MULLET OTHER HAND IN HER POCKET LIKE SHE IS IN A MUSIC VIDEO AND SHE IS HELPING HER SON GET UP ONTO THE PARK WITH HER HAND THAT HAS THE CIGARETTE IN IT THIS IS AWESOME. SHE IS ALSO WEARING SHITTY WHITE SNEAKERS THEY LOOK LIKE REEBOK'S.

i love when peeps cannot let go of the rock and roll.

*update, she is still there and i just noticed she has a tiny black purse and it is diagonally across her chest, the strap, totally retro. there is a dude/dad in a suit at the park with his kids and i think the lady is sticking around cos she is trying to pick up.











howdy lauren,

yes sorry i was happy you emailed. :)

we have a friend here from the UK, he got here on Monday, doing the good old blogger meet up deal. it is pretty fun...other than meeting Miss604 and her husband at new years i haven't met any bloggers and sure as hell haven't had one fly in from England to meet us. these are things that happen to you not a wee vancouver blogger.

i am glad you liked your card. it was fun looking for pictures i thought you'd like.
i know you have some fantastic friends around you but it is just important to me i guess that you know that you are genuinely rad and special not matter how gay that sounds. there are so many jealous fucks out there they piss me off so much you deserve all the good things that happen to you. i hope you have the best birthday! 24 is a good age. i remember i really liked that year.

have a shot for me and rilah or two which ever :)

xo corinna

lucy: man
theres a guy here more condescending than me

me: NOT POSSIBLE

lucy: i swear

me: how so
example

lucy: im so passive by comparrision
its his tone
his tone is out of control

me: give me an example
of a situation

lucy: just in the way he'll go over to someones desk
with his coffee in one hand
nodding at what you say
but then just dismissing it with his voice
saying he'll do something or fix it - with some kinda weird tone that implies it was all your fault and that he's going to fix it for you

me: has he tried to do it to you

lucy: and right now he's doing that to the guy next to me
and it's like, the dudes job to do that work
its not a favour he's granting

me: HAHAHA
what does he look like

lucy: he's polish
very straight and pretty dry
condescending poles
thing is, there's little left outside of that ego
he's so full of ego it spills out all over you

me: yeah condescending types typically have nothing to offer
empty
what the fuck does he have to be egotistical about
how old is he

lucy: he's my age im guessing
maybe a year or two older

me: i think i would get fired i dont think i would be able to bite my tongue
dude DO your job dont act like you are blowing me

lucy: no kidd

me: is he still there

lucy: no issue for me of course, because i have a decent ego, AND, my smile/nod/noProblem act

me: then you write about it secretly on the internet
and then i put it on my blog

i learned my lesson last nite i cannot drink so much anymore cos i do not eat as much as i use to therefore my body cannot take it holy SPINSVILLE. i didn't ralph though, thank fuck. i crashed on the bathroom floor for an hour in a hundred different positions while cid tried to get me through the bottom crack of the door we totally made eye-contact, he tried to fit his face under the door so cute until there were three of him. i didn't even drink that much well, sort of, if you consider the amount of food i ate. we went to green room and fil had the curry chicken and i had a couple bites but when he got to the very last piece it wasn't thoroughly cooked, good thing i didn't do the dickhead move and eat the last bite, usually i am a fan of that but i had my own bbq chicken to work through. anyway, on the bathroom floor i kept thinking about how delicious the green room curry is and i was trying to make the flavour materialize in my mouth but then i would feel really fucking nauseous so i would stop only to try and taste it again then i remembered the uncooked piece of chicken and figured oh great i have food poisoning the awesome just writes itself.

we are never eating at green room again, according to fil and i am depressed about it. 1. a beer cap was in his hot and sour soup 2. last nite's chicken 3. we saw rats outside 4. i have seen mice countless times hanging out. sigh.

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

check out this genius 'about me' bio a girl from my grade school put in her facebook profile:

I am a young mother who loves to dress her daughter up in the most expensive clothes to ever be made for little girls. People always have the wrong impression about me. For some reason they think I'm a cold hearted person but I really am a nice girl once you get to know me. I like doing things that guys like to do. I'm not into prissy girly things. YUCK!
I talk about sex all of the time...kinda like Samantha on Sex in the City! So if you get embarrassed easily you should'nt be around me on a drinking night. (Tina knows what I'm talking about)
I have an addiction with expensive jeans. I buy at least a pair a week. Some girls like shoes for me its jeans. Name a pair and I got em!
Oh and you will never see me step foot in a club not cause I dont like em its just not my thing...I'm more of a pub, chillin person!

pretty hilarious seeing as when we were in school together she was all about dressing as hot and girly as possible.

merkley???: i totally went off on a lame chick last night i was way drunk and she was totally just bad energy city so i just started telling her how much she sucks

me: how so

merkley???: i told her she had a stupid look on her face and that her posture was fake looking and that her fake superiority was totally transparent and annoying and that she was like a black hole for good energy and i'm not a hippy but everyone knows bad vibes

me: WOW

merkley???: anyway, the people i was with that knew her were all being quiet as i thrashed her

me: holy crap how wasted were you

merkley???: but when we dropped her off everyone was high fiving me apparently her own friends hate her too
i was way wasted

me: what was the root of her suckiness

merkley???: thinking she was hot acting like hot shit not turning it off fake aloofness

me: what was she talking about

merkley???: she was hardly talking about anything it was an attitude

me: i fake aloofness well i use to now its like severe looking at the groundness which comes off as snob bitchy

merkley???: anyway -- all of her friends sided with me

me: we bumped into this girl on the street two nites ago fil went to school with her and i gave her total bitch face, like full on scowled at her, couldnt help it shes a fucking waste of space, fil was like what the hell was that!? i knew i met her before but i couldnt figure out how i almost said who the fuck are you? i stopped myself she was all flirty hi to fil didnt see me at first despite me carrying my longboard then she got this wave of guilt look on her face like she was super psyched about seeing fil but then noticed witchy me standing there

merkley???: ha -- well -- some people need to be smacked down

me: she recently did some suspest shit to her bf and i decided the first time i met her that she sucked, like afraid to look at me or acknowledge me, you know when you meet someone they are shady like she would not hesitate to bang fil if i was not there, or try to, or if fil was like that and wouldnt rat her out, that type of shadyness

merkley???: yeah -- my first impressions always hold true if i ever get it slightly wrong its me wishfully hoping someone is cool

me: yah i hate expecting someone to be cool and then they arent thats why i keep my expectations low always and then when someone is slightly cool i am beside myself with glee

merkley???: yeah, some people are awful

me: when they're basically normal and like wtf about your excitement

merkley???: my expectations are pretty inline with reality, tons of mediocrity, little splashes of quality

me: when i come into contact with someone who says something funny, something that i would say, i am dumbfounded and silenced and i hate it, i am never prepared for the awesome, well sometimes i am

merkley???: man -- i never meet people as cool as me, i wish i could meet me one day like just run into myself at a bar

merkley???: i wouldn't try to bug me i wouldnt comment on my beard

me: you would not talk to you because you know how annoyed you would be by that

merkley???: i would just wait until i had a really funny thing to say about someone in the room

me: you are not above waiting 4 hours to say a sentence to someone waste yer whole nite

merkley???: and it would take only 5 seconds to say

me: worth it, fully

merkley???: and i would say it as i handed my other self a drink that i already bought without asking if he wanted it and then i would walk away

me: dude should i jump out of a plane this summer?

merkley???: and my other self would be like -- whoa -- that dude was cool yes you should

me: my dad would be sick with worry i would shit my pants also

merkley???: dont tell your dad

me: my dad cannot even handle me being on the back of fils bike

fil threw out his hip doing it with me two nites ago, yesterday he was limping in pain on our little adventure walk, he is not sure if it was from doing it but i know that it is, he did some different humping moves this time involving his hips. he's been in pain from doing it before, but good pain, in his abdominals, i am basically an exercise implement. i asked if we should get one of those mini tables for geriatrics that goes over your waist and genitals and i sit on it while fil lies down so he doesn't have to do anything, i think it spins too. ahaha. we should get a swing. ew. now i can't stop picturing old people from cocoon doing it.



AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

friendship