guess what kids?! something NEW to complain about!!

i was dreaming that my teeth hurt really bad and i couldn't talk and i was sobbing and trying to get words out oh it was horrible then i woke up about 6am and laid there really still thinking am i still in this shitty nitemare am i still asleep? cos my mouth really fucking hurt, even my brain and throat then i feel around in my mouth with my tongue and an explosion of pain hits me so i go to the bathroom and look in my mouth in the mirror and this is what i saw, NASTY GUMMY BLOODY SORE HURTNESS like that green day tooth pulling video but tame, so my bottom left wisdom tooth is trying to grow out via shoving its way through this bumpy gum part at the back of my mouth, normal i guess, but holy fucking painful. i had to take four ibuprofens and pray for sleep.

anyway HURTS! BAD! B A D !

on top of this i will be getting my period today or tomorrow so all the pain pills i take will be competing cramps vs. wisdom tooth and i can't go to the dentist cos i have to stay with my dad he gets out of hospital sometime today so this weekend is going to be SUPER COOL.

how much does it hurt to have a tooth pulled? do they punch you in the face first to transfer the pain?

i kept thinking i am in any fucking mel gibson movie where he is too badass to go to a doctor.

ungh.



not too late to help out pitt, guys!

endorphin rush
new bathingsuit
depression spiral over



+++++

MAY 2006 ARCHIVE pt. II

noel AND samir use to like me.

melissa mcclelland/luke doucet stag&doe pictures.

shoppers optimum slacker.

blue underwears.

snot factory.

why raymi can't get high anymore.

i am a crazy.

fuck the fuccons.

ungh headbands.

cid still does this.

next stop amazingland.

fil used me.

cpk preemies.

trivial.

i am mean to little boys.

fil's wish.

i have a ton of pride.

the awesome continues.

+++++



went for an 8 minute superbed yesterday, my body is sore but not burned, it was just long/short enough that i am like brown/red.

we watched alpha dog after top model last nite, it is pretty good, some parts are cringe-worthy, but, still, i would say you will enjoy it. also, it is based on a true story, maybe if you are unfamiliar with the story you should pass on reading that wikipedia entry. i even cried at the end.

hurray i am in a depression spiral right now, i'm gonna meet fil for a late lunch.

dirtbags are winning, again.



riding the train pretty much everyday for the last three weeks, i have noticed many things, one in particular, people have let themselves go. women, specifically, wow. kinda heart-breaking. men always sort of ride the fence when it comes to letting-go, i'm just saying the ratio to babes vs. unbabes intrigued me in a depressing way.

remember when being a yuppie was in, say, mid-90s, it was all about cigars, martinis and pretending you were on allie mcbeal then there was a switch early 2000-2002 when it all changed, the dirtbags claimed it all, work a little, play twice as hard, when all the 9-5er yuppies were breaking their backs working overtime to make their beamer payments meanwhile their ladies are out banging greasy chuck taylored dicks, haha, yuppies.

then there was a who cares period, no one really paid attention to anything and now, i see, it's back in the hands of the dirtbags, cos these ten-fifteen years ago yuppies are cruising in their forties now, and their faces show it, bodies, clothes, they've given up the dream, the spark and joy is gone.

sure they may hit the town here and there, but they seem like caricatures of their former selves, ie. dancefloor at the drake, :(

this isn't exactly hard-hitting news i know, it just made me kinda sad for them, no one seems happy, work now, relax later type deal.




i'm happy the way i have it, i will never change, would never trade my life for those who tell me "get a real job" - why? so i can have a mortgage, high-blood pressure and a dumpy ass? no thanks.

one irony is, some of you dudes are yuppies or were, and you hit MY blog daily, for escape, enjoyment, whatever, and some do snap at me and get crotchety and bitter, but why? why should i or anyone be lashed out against for YOUR choice of career and/or lifestyle? i don't get it.

seeing other people enjoy themselves and the paths they have chosen really pisses some people off, it's like THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME i guess.

anyway.

i interned for a magazine when i was 17 and commuted everyday from 'sauga to toronto, it killed me, but i was sort of awed by the corporate world, the professionals, like wow I WANT THAT TOO.

lucky that didn't last very long.




merkley???: yuppies made me really sad last night

me: oh why

merkley???: like i really got bummed

me: they bum me hard
and they think that they dont

merkley???: well they love me -- but they are so empty and shallow
like you think that everyone is wonderful deep inside but its not true
they are actually empty and even bad

me: they're ordinary
yet assume otherwise
HEY HAVE YOU HEARD OF THAT SONG BY GREEN DAY

merkley???: dangerously insecure and unaware

me: etc
so you encountered some last nite?

merkley???: yeah -- the newest club here for the yuppies used my photos as the table tops
they actually look really good
big etc
fancy place etc
so i'm on perm guest list
and i know some of the yuppies
but they really do bum me out
they are so money driven

me: yes
i was hoping for some specific dirt

merkley???: and they all talk shit about each other
no last night i just had a depressing epiphany about them all
this yuppie girl was trying to climb down my pants but it was only because she wanted to hurt this other yuppie girl i'm friends with
they are all so awful even to each other
competition -- back stabbing etc
all about social ladder climbiing

me: yeah they can shittalk their pals easy

merkley???: like they really see people as opportunities
as a way to get what they want
this one financial guy was there
i've known him for a while
but he really depressed me
he only cares about success
i was telling him i dont need a dollar more than i have and he was looking at me like i was totally full of shit
like the idea was completely foreign to him

me: yeah you tell them something original they think they are the one to jump in and spin it like it's a whole new idea
like buddy today is YOUR lucky day

merkley???: oh man -- the lame conversations were one after another last night

me: snore

merkley???: i was really just thinking "can these people really be this shallow?"

me: there's good shallow and there's bad shallow
like talking about coolness, that's good

merkley???: the good shallow is funny
the bad is depressing and real

me: yeah

merkley???: right
caring about cool and fashion is all good fun
and honestly its evidence of a good person

me: it's good to be confident but assuming you have the world in your pocket is this close to mental illness

merkley???: people who care about coolness are givers

me: yep

merkley???: people very concerned with adding to the pile
thats why i like fashion kids
they are pressing forward
the yuppies just STEAL
they wait for someone else to have a good idea

me: i know

merkley???: then they wait to make sure its safe
then they tweak it a little and file the appropriate papers

me: i love when they tell me something i knew about already like it is inside info

merkley???: yeah
way snore

me: if it's on tv then it's safe

merkley???: but they congratulate each other on their thefts

me: dont get me started on pink shirts
they think they are revolutionary cos they wear pink

merkley???: yeah it's gross

me: i have heard I AM COMFORTABLE IN MY SEXUALITY a million times
is that sewn into the tag of every male pink shirt?

merkley???: ha
they
are
bad
people

me: i am eating a banana
HEY GUYS I LIKE BANANAS
i am walking a dog
I LIKE DOGS

merkley???: whoa you admit that?

me: I KNOW, OUT THERE
it might catch on

merkley???: you dont give a fuck

me: full-on

merkley???: thats why i like you

me: look out kids

merkley???: BALLS

me: i think i'm going to bring kites back next
also yuppies are big on infidelity too, that's another hateful thing about them

merkley???: yes

the kooks








as we were leaving the steamwhistle this chick goes to wendi where are you going wendi says to the kooks the girl goes, the gooks? then we, pitt especially, explode in laughter that lasted five minutes.





ran into sonja, wendi bought me two drinks at a time, i think she was trying to have sex with me.




that guy and fil were wearing the same shirt, have the same hair too. ahha.



pitt as jock, wait, as? pfft.



sorry boys, taken.



oh man you shoulda seen the rejects, there was one where it looked like they were air-hugging, fil deleted it immediately.



hilary duff's cheekbones got nothing on mine.




i got a big nose, thanks grade schoolers for the complex.



pitt challenges sundin




this is what happens when you get in the way of my shot, dillweed, also, when you have seen last of the mohicans too many times, yes i went there, natives.




so, the kooks, are very young, when the lights flash on theire faces you can basically see acne, kinda hard to take them seriously. they're pretty good though, they have this synchronized move where they all walk backwards from the mic atthe same time, blown away, i guess they are the new NEW silverchair?

i'm pretty fucking pissed about fil not being allowed to bring his camera into the koolhaus, burn on the band for that one.

fil kept comparing the kooks to zeppelin, i did not think as much, well, mainly he said that when zeppelin started they were the same age the kooks are now, i just kept thinking that the kooks embody every single thing that the guy who turned us onto them thinks he is, and this guy is a complete fucking poseur.

i have not paid so little attention before at a show, not since the second time we saw the killers.


careful, white people dancing, you might lose an eye.

+++

also, this is disgusting.

+++

nxne nerd gathering

























wendi, middle, finally some new girl drunkard blood in the mix


nxne interview with pitt