i scored a 3 for the most bangable blog babes june list - 3!! LAME! whoever 2 is their blog takes ten years to load and 1 is a married 28 year old with kids and a tiny neck and one of those stupid choker necklaces, barf. anyway there you have it, enjoy the traffic bro, next time use your head.



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last nite we hung out on gretzky's patio, every year since last they do an elaborate opening roof patio party thing as you can imagine there were loads of fuckfaces there, but free food, tons of beer tickets and cankles and thunderthighs and club district dudes to make fun of, it was mostly a sausage party, however, with fil and his camera out all the bitches thought he was hired for the nite and kept mugging for him and his camera and a previous stern don't you dare warning bade him the knowledge to IGNORE these ladies. seriously it almost got violent. one chick waited for me to go get a pastry then went in for the kill and made bullshit chit-chat about cameras, she was standing over my head in her cheesy butterfly print white shirt, i played it cool THEN fil is like do you want to see your picture? WRONG! he said he was being nice i said NO you do NOT be nice to girls who are hitting on you in front of your girlfriend, if that is the case i will go buy a two-thousand dollar camera and walk around douchebag nite clubs and see how much attention i get and i will "be nice" and show dudes all the pictures i take of them. ps. professional photographers do not show their shots.

oh man that bummed me out rotten, anyway, they were also doing free hair makeovers, i didn't get one but it was funny to see chicks with already straightened hair get their hair re-straightened some more.

i can't believe i am pre-menstrual already, is it so?

then we walked to embassy in kensington and got plastered some more on the patio this one guy near us got in a fight with his bro something about being owed thousands of dollars and he left with his dog and the other dude screamed out FUCK YOU FUCK OFF cos he was embarrassed in front of their other bros then one of the others couldn't remember the cut it out thing dave coulier does so i refreshed his memory.

then i got late nite singapore vermicelli from new ho king and it was decided if fil paid we would walk all the way home fine even though a nail busted up through the heel of my boot, i just stretched some leather over it and it was fine. i was only planning to have a couple bites of the vermicelli and fil wasn't planning on any at all.

we finished it in three minutes.

walked home singing songs and then had a jeff buckley cd clock radio listening party and passed out.

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here's another sketch by erica how cute is she!?

that's a sneeze glob from saturday, i sneezed and a bullet of phlegm shot out of my mouth and i didn't know where it went, we were walking down broadview and i thought AWESOME SCORE it hit the pavement and out of my life FOREVER then i went to the bathroom two hours later and found this prize splatter. the pants haven't been washed yet do you think my boogers will be encrusted permanently?

yeah YEAH i know i'm sexy you don't have to tell me TWICE.

ps. rage against the machine makes me think of vancouver cos some of their music reminds me of swollen members, hence vancouver, hence the suck connection.

TIME FOR FUN WITH JUNE 2006 ARCHIVES!



raymi's guide to GETTING OVER A DUDE!

excerpt from A Casual Genius: The Biggest Thing That Never Happened yes my third book.

the deepest thing i have EVER written.

my boyfriend is native so... super APPARENTLY offensive blog post.

DO NOT EVER TOUCH MY FUCKING LAUNDRY AGAIN!

pitt is a serious genius.

guide for dude's getting over your girlfriend.

i got the beast on cuteoverload.

native backlash continues.

pitt drunk dials me.

most amazing outfit everyone made fun of on my blog like i cared.

very important fact.

camel toe pants/whore gambs

i made that and mailed it 7 months later/a moment with fil.

pretty good me and fil fight.

really, how cool are hats really?

i had bangs first.

ASK RAYMI then kill yourself from the pain. ps. relax.

ask raymi deux.

ask raymi sleepless in canada.



this will melt your heart.

popsicle painting of yesteryore still available for sale actually.

my blog is the best by raymi lauren.

some pictures.

LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!

kindergarden listening centre

doormat ask raymi

everyone hates me it is not my fault.

very funny grass fight.

ask raymi not a shy whatever

HAHAHA.

my world cup hatred.

noel on his period

also still available, no one cares.

best vids i ever posted.

assbombs.

i felt stupid.

HYSTERICAL fuck you.

what doesn't irritate me?

i feel like i am stuck in a passive aggressive abusive relationship with my fellow building tenants.

thanks for the trojan virus.

today's theme of dress is inspired by autistic tennis player babysitters.

drunk opening up post 2006.

how i went crazy.

raymi i'm sorry.

size of a toolshed.

ok so now here is part of MY dream i will tone down the suck, as in, less details as possible, don't you hate when someone goes on a long ramble about their dream like five pages long and you are out on a stroll and suppose to be listening? holy selfish!





ok so me and gwen stefani are hanging and its our first time meeting and she asked me how much of my blog was real cos it is kinda unbelievable and i said all of it completely is REAL (so real hah) and she was impressed and then i was hanging with george bush and he asked me the same thing except about my videos and i was all george don't worry it is the real deal and he was down then i looked out the back of our car and saw two cops in a shitty coridor pointing hunting rifles at each other in jest and one had a huge deer/bear costumed head on it was pretty cool cos they were laughing and not shooting each other and then i saw these people i know peel out of their driveway and i just missed waving to them but they saw me in the rearview mirror and turned around real quick hitting a curb then two cop cars came out and chased them and i felt bad for waving, felt responsible. it was my first boyfriend and his sister, my childhood friend, in this red bmw and i was thinking how the fuck does he have that car he is a total dirtbag. anyway, there you have it.

Raymi,

This is my first time sketching (does it show?). Do you think this looks even vaguely like you?

Erica



ah yeah it looks like me when i was a fairy evil witch
i love it
going on my blog!!
thanks lady
xo
raymi

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and now it's time for a DRUNK EMAIL FROM LISA!

hey raymi

i'm drunker now than ever before!!!! and i thought to myself... eat that piece of toast with avocado on it bitch and email raymi.. and tell her she is awesome. you bring me JOY! so don't ever let those little fuckmunchers who bag you get you down or doubt your and your websites worth! because some rando over in nz thinks you're the CATS PYJAMAS! that's a high compliment my friend!

you're awesome.

i check your site every day and your posts are wonderful and the photos are awesome and you are honest and cool and FUNNY and awesome.

and fil is awesome too. he shouldn't stop blogging again because his photos are outstanding and his posts are funny.

yeah.

you guyhs rules.

my toast is begging to be eaten now so i'll leasve this big cocksuck fest now and bidyou farewell.

but you're good. you're a GOOD GUY. and i love whta you do.

NZ LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!!

i speak for my country.


we love.

YO!U

this is SO going on my blog you drunk

i thought about you last nite i am reading a book about an aussie chick who goes to england bla bla called the stranger house anyway i thought about you a lot and your life and i was sad that we havent met yet

XOX

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and now a word from china...

weird dream, what does it mean?

Dear Raymi,

Your blog is but one element that helps me get through my otherwise monotonous expat life in China. So, uh, thanks!? But what I wanted to tell you was that I had a really bizarre dream the other night and you happened to be in it. So I found myself at a party held in a dingy motel (high school freshman style) and there were only 5 people there; me, my buddy, you, fil, and some chick that's always in your pics I don't know her name. But whatever, it was cool I guess, we were having some beers, but then you and fil got mad lame and decided to go to sleep at 10:30 at night. The other chick decided to as well. My friend and I were wicked pissed and thought you all sucked, but caved and decided to go to bed too. That was it. The dream sucked.

-Rukasu

woah that dream blew hard that would not have happened we would have killed it til fucking 4am i mean it, who is the other girl in my pics describe her or show me what picture

why are you in china you prolly told me but i forget

Im in China teaching over privileged kids English, thankfully only for two more weeks (its been about a year so far), then a trip to Tibet, then back to the US. And the other girl in the dream was her

Rukasu

videos if you care


tits ass


shaky sweaty hands


parachute weirdo


DOES IT FINALLY!


anj sings at boilerhouse


everyone gets a star


hong kong garden


BRMC window

ok maybe some of you are jonesing for my little bitchy this is what happened and these are all my insane perspectives on it anecdotes, so here is one, i will try and draw it out as long as possible, just for you.

so i was with my mom on monday, dentist day, and afterward we were tooling through oakvegas, she was lagging mental taking a thousand pictures of every store dog and car and i was getting supes annoyed anyway so i am walking to the second cup on the corner of lakeshore and navy and i can see two beasts of women and a little kid coming along navy also headed in the direction of second cup and i can tell by the pace of my stride that we are going to arrive at the door at the same time pretty much EXCEPT i will be there one foot quicker THEREFORE i have right of way and no i do not grant after yous to bitches with kids just cos they have a kid in tow, sorry, that kid has to start learning now that life isn't fair and all that, also, hello, kids, hate em*!

ok so i get there and the lady gets there too but i am there first and at least am aware of this lady and the other one and the kid but she is like marching right on in oblivious to me so i cock-block her with my left foot/pointy toe and slip in before her (i won!) and she says oh sorry and means it, but then has an internal bipolar meltdown in her head when she realises she's been punked by a younger not fat straight-haired tall arrogant young lady (me) and so as i am waiting in line to order she stands right beside me in my comfort zone full on trying a mexican oh you went there stand-off, and i would not grant her the satisfaction of acknowledgement at all (BURN) not once as she was breathing down my neck did i even act like a crazy big-haired hippopotamus was anywhere near me and the funny thing is, second cup did not even offer what i wanted (iced coffee) so i hmmed and hawed a few seconds longer to waste everyone's time (passive aggression is cool) then gave some 'tude and left and my mom was all what the fuck was that about you were really bitchy to that guy, then i told her the mental anguish of the last 3 minutes i had just suffered, the end.

*i will clarify, i do not hate them all, just the ugly ones.

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reggaeraymi.blogspot.com haha?