Tuesday, March 11, 2008


this is the beginningish of my next book

April 6 2007 8.20pmish

Dear Chinese diary

We are at the subway station Phil is being a penis and making fun of how daft I am – I ask where we are getting off then don't wait for a response then go look at the subway map to try and figure it out on my own (wrong).

We are going to smokeless joe's to see Carla and Bryce (fil's sister and her fiancee), they have a present for me I am excited. Bye.

Phil just told me that maybe they didn't bring my present now I am angry.

Hi my name is Lauren I am also known as Raymi on the internet. I know I sound like a stupid shit kid but I am actually 24 and Phil is 32.

Phil has a motorcycle and that's why he is my boyfriend even though he doesn't take me for rides anymore he is also not too bad looking. He was schizo drunk last nite it was cute and funny. Sometimes I spell his name fil cos I give people nicknames on the internet. We are at St. Andrew station bye.

We are at smokeless Joe's now I am on my second beer.

April 7 2007 8.55pm

It's the next day we are @ the pump watching what will most likely be the last leafs game of the season we are with pitt and we are pretty drunk I am wearing the stupidest outfit I got blogspotted by the waitress she reads my blog and said she was actually wondering where I was going to watch the game she just said my hair was really beautiful – she got us a round of drinks on her swoon. She is pretty cute too. Score 1 raymi.

April 8 2007 Sunday 5.30pm

We won the leafs game last nite yes. We are in Oakville it is Easter Sunday everything is closed pretty much, we are at the king's arms having a half pint before dinner at Phil's mom's where there will be presents for me no doubt I got some candy from shopper's and this little boy kept checking me out, strange.

It's cold in this pub fil's friend from high school is here, he is bald and looks bad. Fil did not introduce me, he's pretty ignorant sometimes. Now he is playing that poker game on his palm pilot.

Earlier today he did a u-turn in the car and made my egg salad sandwich fly out of my lap and landed by my feet on the dirty floor mat I had to throw some of it away I was v. hungry too and I got mad.

Fil just said he didn't introduce me cos he can't remember the guy's name. I don't really care. I wonder what will be for dinner tonite. We are going bowling tomorrow with my dad brother mom niece for my bday and brother's bday. We were going to go to the mandarin too but I said no I don't need to eat the entire universe of Chinese food. I am trying not to be a fat-ass anymore.

Three minutes after I wrote that I smashed my half pint glass and then shoved a tiny shard of glass into my left palm and it bled like stigmata, Easter stigmata. It stung.

April 11 2007 Wednesday

We are at the horseshoe at the bar, waiting to see this band called calla, we have seen them before I have zero recollection of what their music sounds like, I think it's good. I had my picture with the lead guy Aurelio last time to make fil's ex gf jealous. I'm gonna try and do that again, wonder if he'll remember me. I'm going to order a second gin and soda now.

One time we were here after edgefest to see I forget, we were all wasted and I asked fil to get me a vodka tonic and when he handed it to me I asked what it was he said a gin and vodka/vodka gin and basically hiccupped it out at me. That's one of our inside jokes now. (He just said the band we saw was jets overhead) we missed them though, we were hanging with pedestrian.

Cool people don't dance.

April 12 2007 Thursday 8:30pm @ Sushi Club

We just had sashimi everyone was a dick to me on the internet today and I am on my period not cool. We are going to see sunset rubdown w/ xiu xiu @ lee's palace tonite they are both big acts and the show is a big deal apparently cos in NYC there is no way they would ever be billed together. I of course know nothing about either one. Listened to some of them on the internet before we left, sounds good.

Today I said the emo-est shit about cid, he was sleeping, I determined he is depressed and making time pass by sleeping then I almost cried. HOLY PERIOD! Fil was like, he is a cat and cats sleep! I said I felt bad for not giving him attention fil said go hug him I said I'm busy haha.