some guy was just in here alone with me checking the baseboard heater thermostat, i was given no head's up about this and it is so totally bath day so i was extremely greasy but trying to be aloof about it meanwhile greasy so i did a lot of casual poses and sauntered around like i was very very busy meanwhile his hands were so dirty, coal miner dirty and THEN he got really chatty because i was doing my BE ALOOF performance (apparently v effectively) so well he mistook me for some person who enjoys small talk - panic. when the super's wife arrives with a maintenance worker she sticks around which i appreciate but this time it was the super who showed up with the guy and then CLOSED THE DOOR TO THE APARTMENT leaving me alone with him.
i am reading steve martin's the pleasure of my company right now and it is bringing out all of my wonderful ticks and neuroses, great book really.
when they buzzed the door i thought it was finally going to be the showdown about my feeding the squirrel, i know, it is one of ten thousand of my worries, every time i hear people outside the door i imagine them holding pitchforks and burning stakes with a warrant or some kind of document, signed petition whatever. i was thinking oh great i am going to have to defend my right to feed a squirrel looking like a greasy black eyed acne factory BRING IT and then i promised myself that from now on i am going to shower first thing in the morning before i cruise the internets. yeah right. oh and meanwhile there is a pile of torn up english muffins all over the balcony.
i did tell the maintenance guy that the people in this building are obsessed with the heat and he agreed cos they're all old then i made him turn down the thermostat before he left i said hey can you make it less humid in here then stopped myself from making a seinfeld del boca vista florida reference cos i knew i'd bugger it up and then we'd get forced into a conversation again.
i should write a guide to agoraphobia.
now it is time for wii fat.