we went to spadina gardens for dinner last nite so i could put my face in a plate of vermicelli, i am allowing myself one gluttonous stress meal this week, that was it and now we can move on from it.
we bought another wii game, mario super smash brothers and i like it loads more than the last piece of crap purchased. it's stressful and colourful and loud and pretty and nerdy and perfect for tuning out the world. you know the winter holiday stress is on when all we do is play video games and watch every movie there ever was. i am trying to build a tent around my brain to shield it from thinking about every present that needs to be bought, last minute art show stuff (immediately after this show wraps the left-overs and some new pieces are going straight up on the walls of a new venue, and it's a family hipster diner so NO TITTY paintings guh) fil's bday, and a few other massively stressful things i am keeping to myself. so yeah i pretty much just want to jump out of a window these days, go to bed stressed, dream about stress, wake up stressed, stress stress stress. is it actually a stress reliever to blog about how stressed you are and go into detail about it, well yeah maybe only a bit cos the burden is lessened via it being shared but then you have this stupid post you get to re-read over and over and over. wicked.
yesterday was laundry day and my buddy was there, she reminded me that i slammed my face into the dryer door last time she saw me, cos i said oh i will try to be as fast as possible to give you some room on the folding table (i knew she wasn't in the folding phase of her laundry yet, just makin' conversayshe) and she said no no don't hurry i don't want you to hurt yourself again then chuckled as if it was the most endearing fondest memory shared between us and i went OH OOPS in the stupidest nerdy voice ever. i didn't full-on slam my face really, whenever i trip or fall or whatever my body over-reacts in a comical stuntmanesque nature to protect itself from a full-fledged injury, so from each gaff emits a cartoon-like GAH BAH AHH UHH FUH YEOW it's pretty fuckin' charming if i do say so myself and is totally hammed up for my audience on spot naturally to make them laugh. the best is the peter griffin wince wheeze groan anyway where was i, after my face walked into the opened dryer door i said well at least there was an audience for that so she probably thinks i am like a stand-up comedian now. or should.
yesterday there was miles of silence between us after we did our usual discuss the weather bit to which half of what she says i have no idea what it is so i nod and go YEEA-HA a lot, i take cues from her and we have agreed that yes it gets darker quicker and that we don't like it and that yes it is snowing rain outside, don't like that either, and the day feels done by 4 cos then it's 5 and dark. then a boatload of silence, uncomfortable only in the sense that there was a longing for more (sorry for the romance twist out of nowhere) i wanted to ask her if she lived in the building (despite being told that she works in the building) but then that would have lead to questions about me and what i am doing there and i am just not ready for that kind of commitment so i folded fil's underwear in silence instead.
i figured out that she likes me more the more disgusting i look - yesterday it was red sweatpants and grey sweatshirt flip flops greasy ponytail greasy face perfection.
i want to talk to her more next time, what other topics can we discuss that won't get too personal? food?
i forgot to mention that the nite of fil and i's anniversary dinner i told him from start to finish the plot of an entire episode of malcolm in the middle, no detail was missed.
that is love, my friends.