Saturday, July 12, 2008

buongiorno dickfags

shirt change no make-up giant beer have a nice nite!


i'm finally getting my suburban bicycles today tomorrow, both of them need to be repaired (flat tires) and the annex bike shop is full (snarky chalkboard message saying REPAIR SHOP IS FULL SERIOUSLY) so does anyone know a shop that ISN'T full and WON'T cost a gabillion dollars or take a long time to get'er done? also, i'm going to sell one of these bikes, the one that looks like peewee herman's ride, it's a late 50's road king from eaton's and it's copper. i'll post a picture later, maybe i'll just trade it in at the shop. i wonder if the place i bought it is still open (think it is) and how miserable the dude will be when i come back with a bike he sold me years later. OK BYE.

ps. i took some advice and instead of my nitecap being a tall glass of all the alcohol in the universe, i drank water and had a vitamin, and i don't want to jump out of a window right now! it works!

Friday, July 11, 2008

here you go my little ding dongs

i need posing instructions, check out my hand hat.

it's a very flippy skirt.

with wedges.


and fil's new kicks

this is so you

and here we have fil's directorial debut:

escapist post!

when i feel like shit i may as well do what i do best, take it out on/make fun of other people. the theme for the majority of these postcards is CONFUSION, my favourite.

for example, what the fuck? and ps. it's not sharing a secret WHEN YOU DON'T SHARE A SECRET! ok so this is a thinker one yeah? so you're saying these old people are finally going to get their shit together, date, and their relationship will work out fine and dandy? hey guess what, I GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS DO YOU KNOW THAT I WON'T BE THAT AGE FOR A LONG TIME WHY DO I CARE? ok bad start, moving on.

???????????? / /?? ?? ? /// ??? what? you are a total asshole.

off the bat i didn't notice her arm, anyway that's not the reason for choosing this card, the wording is why, i know you're trying to be profound and clever BUT YOU SO AREN'T what the hell does that thinks come over and stare mean exactly? and then because they want to play with you? i am so confused right now, you should have just ended it at 2 year old, seriously.

i am a total idiot, the meaning of this card was pointed out in comments. NOW I'M SAD! it's the comma that totally threw me off.

oh please as if this isn't complete bullshit, way too much effort went into this postcard, there is no way in hell you did that, that's like the story some dude told me once about pretending an oh henry bar was dog shit and eating it in front of the neighbourhood dumb kid, or the time rena said she peed in a freezie and gave it to a stupid kid. THESE THINGS NEVER HAPPENED. your real secret is that you are an ordinary boring tool, actually that's not even a secret, so you make up fantastical crap like this, you are also probably a compulsive liar.

that is so terrible. for the sake of this girl, hopefully you never fucking find her and if so you keep her the hell away from your poisonous father and pray that you yourself turn out nothing like him. you are wasting your time trying to meet up to the absurd expectations of your parents, not to mention someone else's parents.

this blew my mind when i saw it, i was way hung, you know the type of end of the world hung and basically anything is believable at the moment. i bet autistic kids are intuitive enough to read people better than the rest of us, not their minds, that's overdoing it, but you know what i mean right? right.

and the loser of the week award goes to this guy who sits around hating a dude who started a blog that became a phenomenon that actually saves peoples lives and gives hope to people in the dark when there is no light, awesome, you fucking retard, do you hate UNICEF too? i love how passive aggressive frank gets by putting up this card in lieu of the other one hahaha burn.

holy downer! basically i found someone who is just as much of a loser as i am so it's cool we can get it on. someone else said this It's interesting - though you tagged this photograph as "I'm ready to love everything" and to me it looks like "I'm ready to lose everything," I wonder if in fact these vastly different phrases would still translate to the same meaning...

i bet you resent the hell out of your brother too eh? this is sad. hopefully your mom is burning in hell right now.

best card ever, EVER and probably the most effective advertisement for weed in the universe how dreamy is this!

dudes, dudettes

i am having a wicked identity crisis at the moment, well, all month really, and have been feeling quite stressed like zoolander who am i? bullshit. i feel like all this time i've spent making myself into a cult whatever is getting me nowhere, maybe it's an i'm 25 what the fuck thing, don't know.

this isn't a pity party update it's just an i got nothing for ya right now kids, sorry.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

look at this dress omgs!

$29 and one size only (so damn shocked i could get it on, i am so bloated right now) from click klak (there are other patterns of it), it's so pixie, i'm going to wear it to samir and sharpie's wedding oh and i got a free pair of flip flops too!

now i can step on little children.

boots i am sending fil to go try on, last pair, 73 bones from 245! the sales bitches were snotty to us and wouldn't let me put them on hold, so he's gonna stick it to them hopefully, no this is not a penis joke opportunity even though it pretty much is.

cute bag.

homo update: one of my plants is finally budding and i can see flower petals are about to burst out!