there's 100 of these all over the city, as well as 100 each of other sdtc ladies, even sass. if you see one take a picture and send it on in to me.
ps. rad belly and double chin eh.
ps. this blog i
stalk enjoy's camera is busted, needsa new one, help 'em out! paypal monies here email@example.com otherwise i will have nothing to do with my internet timezies.
Friday, July 25, 2008
there's 100 of these all over the city, as well as 100 each of other sdtc ladies, even sass. if you see one take a picture and send it on in to me.
i almost fainted doing super hula hoop yesterday, then while jogging my stomach hurt stupid bad. i think i'm going to hold off for today. we bailed on going to neater's party last nite, i have just been in a horrible horrible funk lately can't seem to get back up on the pony. i'm giving fil the nite off so if you see him around, try not to have sex with him. tomorrow we will be away too, looking forward to it and doggies and swimming.
we watched vince vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show: 30 Days & 30 Nights - Hollywood to the Heartland last nite, it is really funny, watch it.
oh and at least my joker zit came back while i was wii fit jogging and i kept touching it and made it worse then exploded it and now it is a hybrid zit of two in one GREAT AMAZING COULDN'T BE BETTER!
ps. wii fit jogging is essentially just dancing on the spot in your sweaty underwear with the controller in your hand and all of your mii friends cheer you on and wave at you and little dogs run all around you. all the mii people you create exercise with you in every game, it's basically a game for losers who never make it out to hang with their real life friends. it's the my buddy/kid sister of yesterday, but today!
i googled my buddy and found a picture of you instead
what other bullshit can i regale you with, i'm basically procrastinating from showering and packing as much as i can at the moment. tonite i'm going to be partying at a dive bar with my brother and dad, can't wait. which tickle trunk outfit do i dazzle the suburbans with tonite and socially alienate myself by? short shorts aladdin slippers probably, what else do i got? nothing.
also, fess up, who made this missed connection?
Thursday, July 24, 2008
i just heard some guy exclaim OH SHIT SON unironically, and mean it. i mean, it sounded wicked stupid. stupider than this blog even.
i am better than whoever that guy is.
that i just wore my batman shirt out and a girl smiled at me and of course in my size of a football field ego i figured it means she wants to get it on so i will totally be scouring craigslist for the next two days. j/k! also, i overheard many a comment about it [shirt]. if you need to desperately get laid i will lend you my shirt for a nite. moving on, picked up some toothpaste, conditioner, vermicelli and spicy green curry for dinner. the vermicelli is crap however, i need some fuel for round 3 of wii fit. there has been some progress in the laundry nemesis department, she initiated conversation, though i am confused as to what the meaning behind it was, she says JUST IN TIME and TOO BAD THERE ARE ONLY FOUR MACHINES meanwhile she is pulling her wet clothes out of a washer and putting them into a dryer. i said um i try to save it all up at once, what the fuck does that even mean? i felt like she knew i hate her guts or something, or maybe she looked at my rainbow assortment of clothing and assumed i would need ten washing machines JUST LIKE HER. yeah that's probably it.
oh right the reason for this post is a dude was sitting alone in the park at a picnic bench having an argument on his cell to maybe a parent, a mother, or a girlfriend, he was screaming for them to stop calling him names and I HAVE TO GO TO CLASS THAT'S WHAT MY LIFE IS ABOUT then he hangs up and lights a stress cigarette and gets back on the phone, more screaming, more shit about class and then SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE IS NO FOOD IN THIS FRIDGE? several times, hangs up and slams his phone down and assumedly breaks it cos he doesn't get back on and he fumbles around with it.
listening to that stressed me out so much i inhaled the majority of my vermicelli.
and now it is raining fat drops and so windy i hope my plants don't get shredded.
my aladdin slippers are pretty close to biting the dust i am ever so saddened.
post-horseshoe, i didn't bother going back to see king khan and the whatevers fil and matt did i have so blown my live music gasket. i at least got to babysit fil's gigantic backpack.
aw charlie brown christmas tree.
sass and the stupid keyboard. i am embarrassed to share this but last nite i did not believe there was such thing as a tab key, officially i am a lightweight boozer, g-reat! i asked how to scroll into a different field they said tab duh i'm all tab? wtf? it was a very pitt-moment.
this is the part when i shared the story of fil and raymi to sass and how raymi used to love going to concerts during the courting phase of their relationship.
see how haggard and tired raymi is from this lifestyle heh ;)
this bike is a challenge uphill, not that i'm going up steep mountains, everyone knows down from bloor going south is a coasty breeze, then at the end of the nite riding back up there is a slight incline slope ugh, fil was all braggy on my grandpa's bike cos it has gears. none the less, i'm sore as fuck right now, also from the wii fit, it feels like my organs are bruised, reminiscent of the time i stopped drinking for a week and i was in sheer pain now i realise it's cos i also started working out with a personal trainer at the time haha idiot.
ok i just realised i didn't take one picture of matt last nite so here is one i lifted from his facebook from now on i will make more of an effort to not take so many pictures of myself.
ok back to me
we were treated to the wonderful sounds of a nearby nightclub for the duration of our visit, sadly, matt has to deal with it wednesdsay thru saturday, worst music ever too.
actually fluorescent yellow, torn out now, bad anxiety i guess.
here is the mental patient outfit i almost wore last nite, i cut those overalls up to my ass, i just could never pull them off, they rest at a totally unflattering spot on my hips, fully showcasing love handles need not be revealed:
victoria's secret negligee yeah seriously wasn't thinking.
final choice obvs.
so wii fit totally destroyed my self esteem yesterday, i did another body test ie. weighed myself, and overnight i gained a pound. that feature is dangerous. fil found a dude who routinely used his wii fit and in 5 weeks his stomach was totally flat, i know this sounds premature but i am already noticing a difference.
r/r saw a lynx!
ps. i LOVE esme's new blog so much.
in an attempt to de-clutter our space, i'm getting rid of my beloved faux tiger rug. it just needs to be vacuumed, and will be. whoever wants it can have it
free for the price of a coffee, otherwise to the charity bin it goes.
every time i walk by that part of the room and glance at the window its face startles me oh what fun.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
we r at matts rite now and he has the tiniest keyboard for his puter it is essentially a blackberry on top of that i dont have the patience to figure out the commands for say an apostrophy why am i even bothering on top of that my thumbnails are as long as shit so this is extra tough. bonus i just watched some rock of love 2 omgsville! oh look at that -- an exclamation point. we rode our bikes here not looking forward to the ride back uphill. i'm not even close to finishing this sapporo yes i figured out the apostrophy. uuuuuuuuuuuuh we r going to a show soon zucket.com is going to meet me too if u wanna hang call me. last nite was sober nite so i better watch it tonite. i wore teeny shorts to the lcbo and gave the same bitch who dogged me last time about them a solid glare. it's not going to be so hot tonite i wanted to change into pants but fil didnt want to wait YOU R WELCOME 4 THIS UPDATE OF THE CENTURY now im going to browse thru matt's history c ya.
nevermind i dont feel like being grossed out right now honestly this stupid little keyboard is sucking all the joy out of using this computer matt u r a mentalcase i almsot want to clip my thumbnails just to impart more wisdom onto my piece of shit blog. ok more importantly these dudes have lapped me double brew-wise i have some work to do bye for real u guys ill take a pic of this keyboard foru cos i kno u care xoxoxooxxooxxoxoxoxoxoxo!
so saturday nite we went out for drinks with brad to one of our locales, we sit at the bar, things are going great, chit chatting with the bartender, then after the buzz rolls on in i say hey take my picture will ya to fil, he does, and i look dumb in each one, so he takes several, then we carry on as such but not until the bartender says to me curtly um WHY are you so OBSESSED with pictures of yourself? caught off guard i say i'm not, it's for my website, and then i said my people (readers? i know i didn't say fans) are obsessed with me (can't remember actual wording but tone was very sarcastic humble JOKEY) and she snorts WOAH that is so egomaniacal of you WOW (i think she's also drunk)(ps. maybe if you looked at a computer you would get it) guffaws and carries on talking more shit as she moves away. i just shook my head, plunked down and exhaled a bunch of fucking flames out of my nose. first of all, egomaniacal is MY word and i was clearly kidding and i don't appreciate being asked a question just so the asker can have an opportunity to talk over me while i answer it then laugh at me and thirdly why does everyone have such a fucking attitude problem at this bar? we paid and left and even brad was like what the fuck was that? they're all possessive of him there, it's really petty. anyway, if given the proper chance i would have explained to this OLDER THAN ME chick (yes age is relevant here)(well i don't actually know that for a fact but she sure seems older in the face)(but is also kinda babeish too so that's another wtf relax) that it's for my blog, i looked fat and stupid in all the pictures i needed just ONE, well i did say something to that effect, no matter, it doesn't concern you, how many people do you approach taking pictures and ask why they are so obsessed with taking pictures? leave me alone and serve me my fucking drink don't make this a thing.
it was very other side of the bar, as explained to me once before from a friend, bartender chicks/servers typically have resentment toward female patrons, like, that used to be me bullshit. i don't care, don't be rude to me for no fucking reason AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN because no one's taking your picture or cos you serve drinks to barflies. ps. who cares nothing is going on at all in this fucking bar and i'm bored should i just sit there pretending to listen to every word coming out of everyone's mouth around me?
here are the pictures in question:
i was caught off guard cos this girl has always been nice and cool or whatever then flip snap nasty out of the blue. this post will likely get back to her too, i don't care, i accept your apology in advance.
anyway, my phone service provider has been calling me all morning, apparently they want to keep me so i am getting a free phone, fil hasn't been online or reachable, his opinion in the matter is needed because, it's fil, ha. anyway i have a choice between the nokia 3555 and the motorola k1srm. thoughts? i am happy with the phone i have right now, it's a nokia, also i don't want to lose all my numbers by switching to a motorola.
nevermind fil says i should tell them to fuck off they just want me to sign another contract.
it really is a workout, there's more footage of it but it's kinda lewd and the room is too dark for you to make anything out other than my thighs and shorts and then fil ruins it by filming my actual progress on the screen (which btw i beat his score)(who cares about progress?). you weigh yourself when you start and it measures your bmi, we are both normal, though i am in the lower section of normal closer to underweight. i put in that i wanted to lose ten pounds in two months, we'll see how that goes. ahah rofl.
oh yeah as we were inputting our data height whatever i was standing on the scale stuffing my face with super doughy garlic bread. fun-E.
my red leggings are there. haha @ wolf shirt SO TRUE!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
the surprise is WII FIT omg
and my decapitated legs
my dad had this to say: Hey ... that's sweet .... is that one of Mom's dresses? It looks like one I think she used to wear. by mom he means HIS mother, i think he forgets that i am his daughter and not his sibling hahaha. well not really, it's mostly a british thing.
we hung out for an hour in gairloch gardens before heading to the pub for fil's mom's bday get together. i forgot my camera, ungh. it was fil's idea to take pictures, i totally wore him down though. we saw a fat toad. i wore granny panties and ruined a whole bunch of jumping pics with my flippy dress and total boner killer underwears. oh well next time.
ps. kathleen needs a roomie!
another pair of fil's underwear bit the dust, what is it with dudes and sentimentality over their totally falling apart eye sore briefs? i guess i'm one to talk as i'm currently rocking a pair on their last legs.
we rode to the movie store and man was it ever exhilarating, when we got back i was like oh wasn't that nice! to fil and he says um you didn't invent riding bikes i said not my point, didn't that just feel great? anyway, it brings me back, nevermind. so freeing. we rented 21 and holy shit does kevin spacey ever look like my dad.
Monday, July 21, 2008
so you know that episode of that 70's show when they forget kitty's birthday so they go out to the gas station and get her a balloon, a funnel, air freshener and a map, well, we recreated that shitty gift for fil's mom last nite, no we didn't forget her birthday, it's actually today. haha i'm watching the part on youtube right now when she opens the funnel and red says COS I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE TO POUR THINGS. ahhahahahaahahah. they actually got her two balloons and NO car air freshener and eric suggests giving her a lighter when she starts to lose it, oh well close enough.
i went into this party store and requested one orange balloon please! practically bursting at the seams oh man oh man ask me why ask me why i want one orange balloon how wacky is that! she didn't ask, i didn't tell. 25 cents for a balloon by the way, a dollar 25 for it filled with helium. what a rip. by the time we left after dinner it was already deflating too.
when we were in canadian tire holding these items i proclaimed wow what an incredibly shitty gift. hysterical. when she opened it and was politely chuckling at the air fresheners i couldn't contain myself so i explained it, we all watched the episode three weeks ago at dinner and fil's mom said she would LOVE to get a funnel so i jabbed fil a bajillion times and made that creepy leery i am so smart open mouth lizard face like we are so going to give her that gift. her real present is play tickets ps. she thought the gift was really cute.
in grade 8 i had ESP.
how funny everyone had to fill out these imaginary high school course things and how many people dropped out entirely. ps. religion is in the grade 9 column because i went to catholic school and high school and then switched to public come grade ten thank fuck i mean jesus.
my niece made this, it's rocky in his litter box.
my dad's three heroes, jfk, john lennon and his father also named john.
my granpa's old ride.
my parents, i stole this picture when i moved out at 19 and framed it even though they were separated, then i put paint on it cos i thought it was eccentric.
liz's painting arrived!! it's taken from the picture i used for the cover of dear raymi. i am also baked in that photograph.
desserts we got from fortino's, mini cheesecake, portuguese custard, choc. something and raspberry crumble whatever.
oh here is something that ground my gears, stopped off at g's to get some chips because, because i wanted them, anyway, these two white dweebs were having one of those loud show-off conversations and as i am paying the tall one with the gross beard says to his short hobbit pustule-faced companion I AM SO SICK OF BALLSY GIRLS ONES WITH UGH CONFIDENCE, I WANT ONES THAT KNOW THEIR PLACE! in my head i am exploding as i am counting out my perfect change and the woman is saying thank you, you paid, go away now basically, i lag a few secs while zipping up my purse, turn and give that guy the dirtiest look in the universe and he says AW COME ON DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT and i walk out. cos of that shooting i am trying to watch my p's and q's, but what i really wanted to say was YOU ARE A FUCKING LOSER or GOOD LUCK WITH THAT or rip his stupid fucking beard out. the end.