hoochie dress i didn't buy and am not wearing today

fil gave it the thumbs up, i didn't on account of not wanting to feel like a pregnant whore all day long.


not finished and i think i kind of hate it, i was going for a raymi as dildo thing here.









a vegetarian meal at last.







i am torn between the AA dress and the black with white polka dots dress, maybe i'll stuff the AA dress into my bag and bust it out later on.

dear toronto news geeks

what is happening right now i have heard nothing but helicopters in the sky for the last half hour, i've been flipping through news channels and websites and can't find anything oot! what is it what is it what is it? am i the only one that cares? some doctor correspondent is talking about head lice right now on the news SHUT UP DUDE tell me why there is a helicopter orgy in the annex right now!!!??? and who am i ray liotta in goodfellas?

ps. i made fil a scavenger hunt cos he thinks i don't like him anymore not true i'm just a crazy for the time being.

the first clue is IF YOU ARE THE LORD AND I AM THE RINGS, WHERE AM I? which leads to I AM STILL ALIVE NO THANKS TO YOU and so on, another clue is I AM THE MOST PRETENTIOUS AND USELESS THING IN THIS APARTMENT.

i told fil i had a surprise for him when he gets home. i bet he thinks it's a blow job.

oh yeah the other day i said the james gay instead of the jays game.

still haven't decided what to wear tomorrow EEK bye.

update: he's doing it right now almost finished i had to help him a bit this is fun good idea me! he is smiling like a geeky little kid so cute.

update again: ok he's done and he's sad that there wasn't a prize at the end, he thought i had tricked him and lied about him getting a pair of boots too hahaha aw.

OMG BOOTS

see look how much of a goon i am, no time for make-up only time for boots. lets go back in time now and experience this together...



hugging my new friends.


with a tingle of crazy.


i almost feel like making a speech here you guys.






excitement blur.


see the cardboard in there, after taking a bunch of pics before trying them on i shoved my foot inside w/o sock or removing that cardboard and panicked, oh no i can't get my foot inside they don't fit! then i put socks on, sat myself down on the bed and before i started crying i jammed my hand inside to happily discover that piece of cardboard. they fit LIKE A DREAM.


fil is very bitter to say the least and he just informed me he doesn't like me anymore. come on dude you have ten pairs of boots. he wanted the same pair as me in the guy version so we could be brangelina. yeah right, guy just wants another pair of feet outfits.





goony morning hippie hair land, i didn't put on mascara yesterday so there's no raccoon mess halfway down my face, just pale red ghost wasp face. that shirt was alicia's, i had the same one in red with black dots, size 10, got rid of it recently, hers is size 4. there's a garbage bag full of my cast-aways actually, if you want it email me soon cos it's getting tossed in the charity bin pretty soon if not.



nice bruise and you can see the wine/melted ice glass on my bedside that i didn't drink. ps. i was fine all day yesterday until i had a few tiny sips of beer then my heart started pounding. this guy can't drink anymore!







all this posing is getting me hot.



next i am going to try on all my dress choices for sharpie and samir's wedding tomorrow and you guys can help me decide, now that the boots are here i am less crazy over my outfit.

earlier: i am pretty sure my boots arrive today i am sitting here as still and as quietly as possible so as not to disrupt the universe and i am afraid to leave for a second to do laundry i can't miss the buzzer omg buzzed they're here omg live blogging this package i was smiling like a goon the dude brought them to the door and i yelled I AM SO EXCITED at him and he laughed brb with pictures.

LIVE CHATTING THIS BORING SEASON PREMIERE OF SURVIVOR

me:survivor

Steph: talk on commercials

me: k
all lame people
aw girl chosen last

Steph: i havent watched any yet ahaha washin the dishes I GOTTA WATCH

me: i feel bad for the last girl chosen
theyre not even on a beach
weird

Steph: wtf is "earths last eden
anyways

me: uh no idea
this is so brutal
that chick is an ex 2004 olympic athlete wtf cant even run up a hill

Steph: oh man
maybe everyone just seems like a huge tool in ep 1

me: they seem super lame this season
hippos
this is like the worst live blogging chat of survivor
why does that old guy look like bill nye
bow tie

Steph: awww i thought he was kinda cute
this is boring tho

me: that old lady is so out of there first

Steph: ahahahah totes

me: shes a loon

Steph: hahaha get it, crap
har

me: theyre blurring out the hot chicks nipple and the nerd didnt tell her about it

Steph: ahahaha oh i felt bad for him

me: me too
he said it would be hot if she ate that termite then she did it cos she wants acceptance

Steph: ahaha
um k marcus is cute

me: bleeding head
head contusions bleed like crazy
even if theyre a tiny nick

Steph: oh man i know first hand

me: ewwwwwwwwwwwwww
sick stitches

Steph: i got 22 in my head once

me: wow

Steph: i ran into a fence
ahahahahahah

me: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAH
when u were trying to pick a guy up an doing yer classic steph smooth move

Steph: ahahaha actually in a grade 8 way YES i broke my nose and had 2 black eyes too

me: rough

Steph: but also funny
when i was getting my stitches taken out my mom fainted ahaha

me: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

me: i am sad for that old lady now i havent really been tuning in cos i am talking to fifty people at once
that videographer has a hate on for her cos they are in the same age bracket
video game guy has a boner for termite eater
old lady doesnt like termite michelle meanwhile old lady is annoying everyone and is useless
this better be a good challenge
i bet this season is going to have the worst ratings
why is that guy wearing a tie still
and why isnt your heart in this anymore

Steph: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
cuz this show has run its course

me: oh man that chick is being voted out cos she is putting them in their place
roger lodge is wicked
edit:haha that's not roger lodge wrong show

Steph: AHAHAHA

me: and i love that sound effect when someone talks shit they blast a panflute very fiercely
i think the ex olympic chick should be voted out cos she cant run up a hill

Steph: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAAA i know!!

me: when i get married i want the survivor band to play at my wedding

Steph: blast a panflute very fiercely
BAND
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA

me: the one that plays at the final episode

Steph: see u are way more entertaining than this dumb show
my laptop doesnt even face the tv
im in another "room"

me: i think every person in the tribe sucks except for the video game nerd

Steph: PROFESSIONAL GAMER
have some respect

me: um can u not just bring your laptop to the tv
this is so tense

Steph: no wireless
SNAKE

me: wow
the termite eater is only wearing underwear and some sort of sash made into a train behind her
and she has bad skin
and i am goin to crack that one beer in the fridge right now

Steph: dooooo it

me: FUCK TERMITE EATER IS GONE
im pissed
goes to show never go against the crowd
i hope they get trampled by a fucking stampede of elephants
in their hut while theyre sleeping
omg im happy i made fire now everyone can eat good thing i could make fire WITH THIS FLINT I CREATED THE UNIVERSE
ok beer time i am getting too riled up

Steph: ahahahaha but not the baby elephant from the stock footage that thing looked too cute to trample
ps im watching the office now no idea what you're talking about

me: oh me either

Steph: ahahahahahahahahaaaa

me: ahh beer
quiets the rage

Steph: ahahahah apricot?

me: no bavaria
should we live chat me drinking one beer
oh god theres a snorer in that hut
omg one guy woke up in the nite to do chores inside the hut

Steph: PAHA
loser

me: now they are all fighting again

Steph: great show
u should be watching the office
hilarious

me: i cant wait to find out who the racist and the homophobes are
they are using little twigs to brush their teeth

Steph: we already know the agists

me: now theyre mad the youngest kid they chose as leader decided not to be a leader
cos theyre all rippin on him
god i hate these people

Steph: really watch the office

me: CANT im sucked in

oh yeah

last september's catskills vacation unused pics

they turned the a/c off in our building and flipped the heat on, it's central air so we have no idea how to control it i feel like i am going through fucking menopause right now it's like the time in woodstock we had a fire blazin' (at nite) last indian summer and we were overheated to the max all week long my face was flushed i'm pretty sure i blew a few braincells from the heat alone but then the last day leslie realised the heat had been on all week long for some reason. it also is like that friends episode when the heat is cranked and stuck and ruins everything i am sitting here in my bikini top and underwear right now with chapstick smeared practically all over my face cos my lips are dried out from all this DRY HEAT what is this the desert? did i miss the arizona old folks newsletter?

geezer next door was givin' it bad to the lady yesterday i almost called the old people police hotline, i'm not sure if it's his mother or wife or sister now, i didn't intervene cos i so cannot deal with stress right now but i have decided that the next time i go out to water the plants and she is doing her back and forth pacing rounds on the balcony i am going to pop my head around the barrier and ask her if she needs help, i have practicing the tone in which i plan to deliver this sentence, it must be just so so she doesn't get her back up all defensive like women in abusive situations are oft to do for fear of more abuse. he was yelling at her about a sponge and where did she put the goddamn sponge and when she tried to answer he screamed SPEAK SPEAK IDIOT and yelled at her about how it was better before she moved in all in this disgusting tone, i stood there with my door open as still as stone. maybe i could go down to the super and say something?

this concludes the raymi times for now.

oh wait get this, steph and i have boycotted one of my local variety stores because we were 12 cents short on change for a bag of doritos that cost $3.94 (so jacked up) after we counted out all the change between us guy was like sorry no you are short so we had to give him a twenty SO STEAMED after all the business given to your crappily stocked store you cannot budge on this overpriced bag of doritos? awesome. i'm not even going to shop there on labour day (when i'm desperate) or christmas or any of those holidays you are open. he stood there while i dumped my purse on the counter and fished through every pocket corner for dimes and pennies for five minutes only to deny us, total cock!